It rained that night,
It rained so hard.
The drops of water, like needles,
Piercing through my brain.
It brought back all those haunting visions
from the past.
And my own tears,
so hot...it hurt.
It hurt to cry.
But I couldn't stop,
Couldn't even try.
I sat there, paralysed.
I couldn't speak.
And the rain outside
it ceased,
Not a gradual halt,
but a sudden sharp break.
The puddle, it'll dry up too.
The same way as my tears do.
Then the rainy day,
it'll cease to be.
Adios,this was the last of me.
2007-06-13 09:24:43 · 16 answers · asked by ? 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
P.S I'm 15.
2007-06-13 09:43:00 · update #1
I liked this poem! Is a very good one!
2007-06-13 09:35:55 · answer #1 · answered by ђermiona 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice poem in my view but a little mixed tenses towards the end:
The puddle, it'll dry up too.
The same way as my tears do.
it'll - suggests future possibility hence I'd say the "same way as my tears did" to fit in line with the sense/tense/spirit of the poem
good luck
2007-06-15 03:03:14 · answer #2 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a great poem. It's heartfelt and has a good flow. The two lines that start "The stockings are all hung" and ends in "twinkling lights" is a little out of place. There's really not anywhere else in the poem that has imagery, and to put something like that doesn't add enough imagery to justify it being there. Otherwise, a great poem.
2016-05-19 03:35:47 · answer #3 · answered by denese 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow did u write this poem , it is so nice and full of emotion, i like poems and u look like u have a future in writing great poems. I like the part The drops of water, like needles. it is really touching , and also the ending , it showed that u were never going to be the same again.
Do u have another one? I will luv to hear it. My email is luvjaan14@yahoo.com
Rehena
2007-06-13 12:01:23 · answer #4 · answered by Rehena Khan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 thumbs up
2007-06-14 23:14:58 · answer #5 · answered by groovy_licks 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this poem is nice it is sothening 4 the minds and says sadness is a part of life it has an end it wont continue 4 ever
u have said a big truth of life in this small poem
2007-06-13 09:44:56 · answer #6 · answered by doddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice I like the poem. Shows painful emotions of being dumped in love.
2007-06-13 09:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by Smile- conquers the world 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a lovely piece! The last drop of tear, and after that all joy and sunshine, the way i read it! all the best! write more, you have it in you!
2007-06-14 01:48:43 · answer #8 · answered by swanjarvi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wrote this yourself , I think you are really talented, you could write poems for some paper or magazine.
2007-06-14 02:00:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good but you need to practice more on the poetry.
2007-06-15 05:44:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋