What do you think about video games?

Question

Ok, weigh in with your thoughts. My husband and I just got in a fight. I'm pregnant. My hubby, who is a great guy, plays Halo about 10-20 minutes everyday. He also goes to Halo parties with his buddies once in a while. I get annoyed when he wants to go and we fight. I personally dont see the value in hours of shooting things when you could be spending time with your family. Plus, I don't want our first child to have that example and think violent games are perfectly ok. BUT, I understand that he enjoys playing and being with friends, so I want to support him. I just find it more and more difficult to be supportive without feeling angry at him for giving up our time for Halo time. What do you think? Am I wrong for telling him honestly that I dont like it? He gets resentful and says I am trying to make him feel bad. Any advice? This is becoming a big issue for us. And lately, even when I'm away working at night, and he isn't giving up our time to play , I'm still irritated when he plays.

Answer 1

Sounds to me like it's YOUR problem, not his. 10-20 minutes a day? Are you kidding? That's nothing! Video games can be extremely addictive, yes; I've seen people spend hours upon hours playing games, and this would be extremely difficult to handle in a relationship. But from what you're saying, it seems this is not the case with your husband. In fact, you are admitting that it has nothing to do with him "giving up time with the family" - you're just irritated at this particular pastime because you, yourself, don't see the "value" in it. Well, the value in some things lies solely in the fact that the person we love enjoys them. This, the enjoyment, can be the end in itself - not everything has to have a practical application. You have to stop making it all about you, and learn to see the value in something that is important to your husband. As far as "violence" goes... It's just a game. Don't tell me you've never watched movies that have violence in them - you can't possibly be THAT sheltered. In just about every movie or TV show nowadays, someone gets shot or otherwise disposed of. If your child is growing up in the US, he or she is going to be surrounded by so much "violence" that 10 minutes of Halo a day should be the least of your problems. Besides, you still have 2-3 years before the child will even begin to understand what the video games are about - and by that time your husband will have probably long moved on to something else. Get a grip on yourself, and stop making mountains out of the mole hills. I'm sure being pregnant is not a walk in the park, but try not to create more drama than it is necessary; pick your battles. Good luck.

Answer 2

Ah video games and the family. Something I know very well. What I'd say is there is a positive impact for video games. It's a means of escapism where you can take an hour or two and play a video version of gotcha with people around the world. Playing Halo helps him blow off steam. It sure beats hitting the strip clubs or drinking a 12 pack on the family annoyance scale, if you really think about it. Still, he and you need to balance that game time so you feel you have time and he feels he can play.

Neither extreme (24/7 playing and no playing) is good. 24/7 gaming leads to bad eating habits, pasty skin and the inability to deal with sunlight. If you say he can't play for the sake of the family he might do it and resent you for taking away this outlet, especially if he's been playing for years.

Make a point of talking to him and tell him that you want him to have time to play but you need him around the house more. Let him know that when you need him, that you NEED HIM. You take precedence over Halo or Gears of War or even Madden but don't go playing that card all the time or he'll just think you're manipulating him and ignore you.

Feel free to email me if you want to talk about this.

Answer 3

My husband love that game too. I personally don't see what the big deal is but he likes it, so he plays, he also goes to play poker with friends every Tuesday night. It's just his way of relaxing and having a down time. Don't take his wanting to play so personally, especially if he's doing it when you're at work. It's better than looking at porn, isn't it?

I like to do cross stitching, knitting, crochet and talk on the phone. I do those thing to relax and he doesn't get in a huff about it, even though I spend sometimes hours and lots of money on them.

Of course you want him to spend time with you, but he is still doing that correct? Between work and time with you, where is his "me" time if not when playing Halo. As far as it being a violent game and you're worried about your baby thinking it's ok. It'll be a couple of years before your baby even notices what Daddy is doing on that computer and when that time comes, just ask him not to play with the child around.

Answer 4

It all depends on how much and what kind ... but for him to play for 10-20 minutes a day and for you to be irritated by this, it's like WOAH, chill out here girl. This is majorly obsessive of you. If he were playing 6-8 hours a day, that'd be different, but 10-20 minutes! This isn't good of you, not at all.

Do you realize the average person, couple and family watch 3-4 hours of television each day? Is that any better for the baby? How many things do you do that aren't perfect for the baby? Do you get your perfect diet? Get all of your exercise? Do you allow your body to put on those pounds for the sake of the baby?

Let the guy have his 10-20 minutes, in fact, if he doubled that, there would be no harm, at all. Guys need to relax and unwind and if this is how he does it, and he is that great guy, then get off his case. In fact, encourage him. Think of all of the things he could be doing that are a thousand times worse.

Answer 5

I don't think 10-20 minutes of play time is bad. Many men have some kind of outlet to unwind with after work. Just consider this his. As long as the parties are only occasionally, I don't see a problem with that either. It is when it is a weekly occurrence that it would get annoying.

I agree that this is not a good game to expose children to. Just let him know that when the baby comes that you don't want him/her exposed to that. He will need to play it after the children are asleep or out of the house.

Finally, you should find a hobby that you are both interested in. You hate video games and he probably hates shopping. Compromise and pick up something new. You could go hiking, join a book club, take dancing lessons, go bowling, etc. Find something that you both agree on (I know my husband would rather die a slow death than take dancing lessons).

Answer 6

It sounds like he's worth it otherwise, so figure out a rationing plan for him. I don't know if you meant to write 10-20 "minutes" a day, but if you did, then we're all going to wonder what you're problem is. But, going to Halo parties every Friday night is a problem. It should be more like once a month or less, probably.

Answer 7

ok i don't see how you can be mad bout him playing for 10 to 20 minutes. Its call unwinding and having fun let the man have his peace. As for halo parties, how often is once in a while? I'm sure he goes to things with you that he doesn't like. A marriage is all bout compromise.

Answer 8

I think you should tell him that its getting out of hand and ask him if he could give up his play time nicely rather than shouting causing more damage to the relationship. good luck!

Answer 9

Ask with him every day too.
Men is very nervous.
Want yes old he have ?
My name is Nete,i live in Brazil
I don't speak Inglis very hell.
By.

Answer 10

I personally think ALL video games should be thrown out the front door....I think they are doing lots of damage to kid's, and adults minds....complete, and total waste of time!
It seems I'm "ruffling a few feathers" here....maybe some people will THINK! That is a GOOD thing!!