"bi" now, "gay" later???

Question

i've been "bi" for a number of years now. but lately it seems like i just can't be bothered by all these nice, seemingly attractive men who keep getting interested in me and asking me out on dates. i feel like i've reached a point where i really love women and am intensely attracted to them, but when it comes to men, it seems i don't really need one to be happy. have i reached the "gay later" point ("bi now, gay later")????

Answer 1

Its okay to say - alrite Im lesbian - if your feelings for guys are changing . Youd know it if you still thought guys were hot . But it sounds like your interest isnt there anymore .

Answer 2

Being bisexual doesn't always mean a 50/50 split. I'm about 80/20 myself, lol. I'm bi but I prefer women. I still feel an attraction for men, but in general I find myself more attracted to women tend to be more comfortable with the idea of settling down with a woman when the time comes. I don't consider my sexuality a phase. It's how I've always felt for as long as I can remember. There's no need to "change your label", there's no need for labels at all in my opinion. Just be who you are and date who you want to.

Answer 3

Yeah, for a lot of people, being "bi" really seems like just a PRELUDE to making the total transition into "gay"!

Case in point: back in the mid-'70s, Elton John stunned fans by his "shocking" admission to Rolling Stone magazine that he was, indeed, bisexual, and that he thought people should be "free" at sex, and "draw the line at goats!" After a failed attempt at marriage to a woman in the '80s (he wanted to have kids), he finally just "came out" to the world that he was NOT bisexual, after all, he was full-blown GAY!!!!

I sure do wish you'd send some of those nice, attractive STRAIGHT men MY way, though. They have apparently all gone EXTINCT in my neck of the woods!

Answer 4

"bi now, gay later" is actually a derogatory phrase used to police and accuse the identities of people who identify as bisexual. It is a way of saying "you aren't really bi, you're gay waiting to happen"

It is akin to someone telling a person who identifies as homosexual that it is "just a phase"

Human sexuality is for many, a process that travels through different sexual or affectional dynamics throughout one's lifetime. This does not mean that the person was 'really' this or that to begin with but just didn't realize. It is a much more complicated component of identity formation than just a lack of realization.

It could be that your life process is simply at a point where your sexual dynamics are changing. It does for some people but not all.

Also, to the comment that "most les won't date a bi" is possibly incorrect. I find that in circles that are more pron to believing social myths, and also communities that are more pron to police other's gender identities, yes, many lesbians comming from these kinds of closed communities won't date bisexuals. These communities often focus on margins of exclusion as part of enforcing hierarchies of priviledge within queer communities.

However, many communities do not have a problem with bisexuals. In more open communities that are pron to discussing safer sex practices, exploring identity theory, open to building bridges between communities as opposed to fenses, and less focused on making sure that everyone else follows their gender scripts according to dominant cultural trends that they are aware of. These communities are often more about breaking down hierarchies of priviledge within the queer communities and basing their inclusion on more egalitarian values.

Amiko-Gabriel Stocking
Gender, Sex, and Queer Theory educator.

Answer 5

I think so, in my opinion your just straight up gay now, and there is nothing wrong with it. I rep that rainbow too, well half cause I'm bi...LOL. But really maybe you just got tired of men, found them less attractive, found women HELL of attractive. So yeah i think bi now and gay later would fit this.

Answer 6

lol. Bi now, gay later...what a hoot.

I am 29 years old and still bi. For me attraction is about the person, not the genitalia attached.

If you like girls better, you just like them better. There's nothing wrong with it and no need to label it. You are just you.

Answer 7

There is no "gay later" point. Some people remain bi for the rest of their lives. It's just personal preference.

Answer 8

lol
Perhaps you are now finally ready to accept being gay/lesbian. Bi is a common phase (although not always a phase). I came to a similar point - I love women and love their companionship more than the companionship of men. Women just fit better. Sometimes you need to get time to become who you really are.

and, as someone else said, who cares about labels? labels are for others to put you in a box.

Answer 9

i think that thank yous are greater efficient late than in no way, because of fact a minimum of you're displaying the guy who you probably did delight in in spite of it grew to become into that they did for you. besides for many human beings they do no longer do good deed to get thank yous they do it because of fact it extremely is in basic terms what they do. So i'm confident that a late thank you would be in basic terms pretty much as good as an on time one

Answer 10

Sometimes, people's preferences make themselves know. I consider myself bisexual with a heavy tendencies towards women. Take it all as this: Do you still find men attractive, as well as women? Well, you're bisexual. You just happen to like women a bit more. :)