In the begining everything is fun and exciting? But how to you keep relation fresh and exciting after 10 years of marriage, after kids. What do you communicate about after most of your goals are done.
2007-06-13 08:07:18 · 13 answers · asked by ban 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am by no means an expert but I am in my second marriage and what I learned from my first may help you. In my first marriage we focused on all the tyical goals of marriage. Buy a house, have kids, own 2 dogs, a cat and have nice cars and careers. That didn't leave much time for anything else. That was where we made our first mistake, the next was my mistake and it was fatal. I focused on my kids and my job and then my marriage. I wanted to be sucessful because it was what we were suppose to be. If I would have had any free time I don't think I would have know what to do with it. I didn't even remember what I liked to do before or who I was now. I realized I wasn't doing my children, my spouse, but especially myself any good by losing who I was. I didn't have friends anymore because I thought it was too selfish to spend time on myself or them. I don't know if you can relate but if you can I suggest you find what it is that you would enjoy. Find someplace you can do that and find people outside of your spouse who enjoy your company and time at least once a week. Your spouse should do the same. In my second marriage we didn't loose our friends, we try to incorporate our friends into our lives on our own once a week and all together at least once a week. The other times are family time, but we do make sure to have 2-3 nights just us. We are very protective of our nights. The difference has been that we have things to talk about. We are exicited to see each other and we both have confidence in ourselves and know that other people enjoy our company. I hope this helps.
2007-06-13 08:30:28 · answer #1 · answered by HotLovin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, not everything will always be fun and exciting. You both have to make an effort.
Second of all, when all your goals are met, you get new ones to try for.
Third, communication shouldn't be a problem, because you should have married someone you have lots in common with so you never run out of things to say to each other.
2007-06-13 08:11:43 · answer #2 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been married for almost 11 years, and right now are some of the best times of our marriage. We've worked through a lot of the 'battles', learned how to deal effectively with one another, learned how to read the signs and signals more accurately. We talk a lot, both of us about our marriage. We plan things and do things together. We go on dates when we can manage it, and we try to keep our sex life new and exciting. We encourage each other to try new things, have hobbies etc. We give each other 'me' time, but mostly have a lot of family time. Marriage is what you put into it, so if you haven't been putting much into it lately, talk with your spouse about your feelings and see if there are areas the two of you can put more thought and energy into.
2007-06-13 08:13:07 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We're in a different stage after 10 years. We have been through a lot and are coming to terms with things that have happened and looking forward to the future. We talk a lot and about everything. His son finished school and is in the Marines now so we have an empty nest and are adjusting to that. We have lots of plans for the future and are doing things (saving, paying off debts etc.) so that we'll be financially secure to do anything we want in less than a year. The key is to talk and talk a lot.
2007-06-13 08:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh things always come up that you will have to discuss.kids growing up, family members F-ing up. there is a lot of places married people can go alone vacation's ,day trips. you don't get married to accomplish goals you get married because you love someone. you will never run out of things to say or do. if you do then you guys can hang out with your friends and talk about that. anyway thats why they have places like lovers lane and the sybaris if all else fails.
2007-06-13 08:16:17 · answer #5 · answered by THAT1UDONTPLAYWIT 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say try new things such as volunteering, trying new activities (a new hobby, some sort of club, etc.) that you BOTH would like and go from there. Usually you can find something within that, that you both would enjoy and help to keep the relationship strong.
Good luck and congratulations!!
2007-06-13 08:23:39 · answer #6 · answered by tiff_ko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a theory. One person in every relationship strays, or wants to. Seems like you are one who wants to. Don't do it. Once you cross the line you can never get enough. Do lots of talking and sipping wine together, after the kids are asleep. Talk talk talk.
2007-06-13 08:14:19 · answer #7 · answered by Mr.OldGuy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of things that you wanted to do, and try them. Make things up as you go along. Travel. Have a pic nic, then get naughty where no one can see you. Be CrAzY and wild!
2007-06-13 08:14:42 · answer #8 · answered by ♥Enamorada♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make new goals and achieve them together.
2007-06-13 08:10:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to continue to do what you did to get him. It's easy to get married. Staying married is where the challenge is.
2007-06-13 08:10:03 · answer #10 · answered by #1 Monkey Minion 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋