I've recently started talking to my ex. I really love seeing him, but I'm in love with someone else. The one I want to be with is married. We've wanted to be together for over 2 years. He has three kids, and has to wait for the youngest to start kindergarten, which isn't until fall 2008. I drive myself crazy every night thinking about us being together. He is my soulmate. On the other hand my ex is always calling and wanting to be there for anything I might need, which feels really good because my soulmate can never be there. My soulmate texts me and calls me a lot. He wants to continue seeing eachother as much as we can in the meantime, but it's too hard for me when I've been waiting for so long. I don't want to see him, but I do. Should I forget about him, or wait? If I forget about him my ex might actually have a shot at winning me over. But he's cheated on me in the past. We broke up because I wanted to be with my soulmate, which was 2 1/2 years ago.
2007-06-13 07:56:05 · 18 answers · asked by selena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have doubts about your ex because he has cheated on you but YOU dumped him to be with a MARRIED man who had a FAMILY?????? Leave the married guy alone. If he will cheat on his wife, he will cheat on you. Chances of him leaving his wife are slim. Wake up - why would he leave her - he has the best of both worlds... a family and a piece on the side.
2007-06-13 08:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK- here's my two cents- don't date the ex. There's a reason you broke up, and it's a good one. You'd be settling and also, in a weird way, using him as a substitute for what you ideally want. It would not be fair to either of you...
As far as the soul-mate, this might be hard to hear, but if he's married and trying to convince you to keep seeing him even though he "can't" leave for another year or more- he might be just having his cake and eating it too. I'm sure he has real feelings for you, but how deep do these feelings really run?? There is no reason he couldn't leave his wife now and still be a good father to his kids. What is really going to change when his kid gets into kindergarten that would affect whether or not he can be with you?? Seriously- once a cheater, always a cheater. There is NO saying he won't do the same thing to you once (and IF) you're ever finally together.
Please do yourself a huge favor and move on from both of these unhealthy relationships. It'll be hard, but it IS possible to find someone right for you who's NOT taken already.
2007-06-13 08:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by kitkat1988 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW. Seriously. Girl. Go back to your question and read it yourself, imagining someone else wrote it. Do you see the problem? First, your "soulmate" isn't the right one because he is MARRIED. If he felt the same, he would be divorced long gone. Second, 2 years? You've been waiting for 2 years. Let me tell you, you will end up waiting even more for this guy. He will never leave his wife and he will always have you as an extra boost to his ego when his day is crappy and the wife doesn't put out. He's a looser. But hey, if you want to waste your life on waiting, go ahead. Personally, I wait for noone. I don't see that guy waiting on you, correct? Forget about them both, go after your business, make your life worth it and don't take any of them even if they beg. Your ex is a cheater. So yeah. Good luck!
2007-06-13 08:09:39 · answer #3 · answered by stargazer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good question! Who should you choose?
OPTION A) You're "soulmate" who just happens to be married and have children. But you guys were just TOTALLY meant to be together right? I mean...he would NEVER do the same thing to you that he's doing to his current wife, now would he? Unless...he found a BETTER SOULMATE.
OPTION B) The ex who cheated on you and, should you get back together with him, will cheat on you again.
The problem here would seem to be that you like being with men who, at the very least, cheat on you or otherwise treat you like crap.
I'm sure your "soulmate" it in hell having sex with his current wife AND with you. Man - I bet he can't wait to leave her, huh?
I would suggest OPTION C -
That's the one where you find a guy who is single / divorced, isn't your cheating ex boyfriend and doesn't have a wife, kids and feed you a bunch of crap about being "soulmates".
Can I get a witness?
2007-06-13 08:03:51 · answer #4 · answered by mantoothnation 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about this: forget the "soulmate" - he's not available, and who knows if he ever will be; forget the "ex" - he's an ex for a reason, and just because he's showing you attention doesn't mean he's right for you. Go out and look for someone who is 1) available 2) commitment-minded 3) compatible with you. There's more fish in the sea, believe me! He who is married to someone else is NOT your "soulmate" - only he who can devote himself to you would be.
2007-06-13 08:02:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How awful for this scumbag to emotionally abuse his children like that. Those poor little things. Sweetheart, this man DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU. HE IS MARRIED. He is not your "soulmate" because he married somebody else. If he was your "soulmate" he would have married you. He keeps calling and texting because he's horny. Sorry to be so blunt, but how can you not know this?
You said your ex cheated on you in the past, but that shouldn't be a deal-breaker for you......you seem to thrive on being deceitful and sneaky.
2007-06-13 08:04:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your ex is more dependable than your "married soulmate".
2 1/2 years is way too long to invest into someone that is married, let that married man go and give your ex a chance.
2007-06-13 08:12:30 · answer #7 · answered by Sweetface24 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your soulmate is married, and he's waiting for his youngest to start kindegarten before he can leave his wife? Is that a rule now? If he thought you were his soulmate, he would've left to be with you already. What's the point of prolonging the inevitable pain with the kids. What a jerk, and you're a jerk for fooling around with a married man.
2007-06-13 08:01:54 · answer #8 · answered by ron-D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I'm pretty mystical myself, but too many people use the "soulmate" thing as an excuse to play games in relationships. If you're interested in having a relationship with one of these fellas, then how about communicating directly with him? If he isn't looking for that commitment, then move on, but don't play games with either one of them.
Life's too short
2007-06-14 08:58:00 · answer #9 · answered by Curry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure you are old enough to be with anyone. You seem to want to go where the wind blows you. A married man with three young children is not your soulmate nor will he ever be. His commitment should be to his family. I surely wouldn't want a man who could so easily walk away from that. Work a bit more on yourself before commiting to anyone.
2007-06-13 08:19:05 · answer #10 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋