my friend brendas husband went 2 jail about a month ago, and she got caught sleeping with my husbands friend anthony. so my husband does not want me to associate with her anymore, nor does he want 2 associate with his friend. the thing is brenda husband is good friends with my husband. so the other day brenda called me needing a ride cuz she ran out of gas, so my husband told her 2 call anthony. so she hung up and called me back talking ****, saying i am a bad friend & that my man is a cheater that we shouldnt be friends no more. fine. so about 20 min later my friend carol called me, apparently brenda ***** a$$ told her i was talking ****. so whatever me and carol will talk it out. but doesnt it sound like she is trying to cause us problems, just so we dont tell her husband. should we tell him, he wasnt even locked up for 2weeks when she slept with anthony. keep in mind, my hubby is good friend with brendas husband, should we tell him? or just keep it a secret?
2007-06-13 07:21:07 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
to those who say my hubby is controling me, that is not the case. he thinks that she will just cause more problems for us. it suck because we where such good friends! it seems like cuz i told her how it really is she is flying off the handle and starting ****. mind you she has a child, and has cheted on her hubby a few times, once with her hubbys brother. nasty right? so thanks to all who understand me, i feel sad it ended like this, but i will not be guilty on association!
2007-06-13 07:39:35 · update #1
My suggestion is to listen to your husband. He is thinking logically. We tend to think with our emotions when it comes to friends. He is right. I would also suggest you DON'T tell her husband. He will find out soon enough. I would stop all relations with this cheating friend, already you can see she is loyal to nobody, not even you. She calls you names and spreads gossip. Say good riddance. I would feel sorry for her but not sorry enough that I would be friends.....
2007-06-13 07:27:01 · answer #1 · answered by sammie_miles 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Choosing to not associate with her is a good idea - she sounds like a whole big bag of drama.
How long is her hubby in for? If it's like for 5 years - well by the time he gets out they probally will not be together anyways. But if it's for 2 more weeks well then that's a different story.
Granted if she has cheated, she will cheat again.
The real question is the husband the type of person to take her back fully loving her and trusting her without batting an eye lash. If so then save him the heart ache and don't say anything. Since it wont matter any ways
But if he is a smart man and will leave her, or lay down the law, then tell him.
Sorry not a HUGE help - so many possible senarios.
good luck :)
2007-06-13 07:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by LaRey O 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You shuold tell Brenda that you don't approve of her infidelity, and that you and your husband have chosen to back off from her because of this. She may be hurt and yell at you and may tell you things that might or might not be true, but that should not change your feelings on this.
You should be as quiet about her cheating and her problems with your other friends as possible. Tell Carol that you and Brenda are having problems, but that you're not talking bad about her. Don't elaborate, and don't gossip - doing so will make you the bad guy in this. Take the high road.
2007-06-13 07:33:02 · answer #3 · answered by Becka Gal 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is messy and about to get even messier. Brenda sounds like she only wants to be a friend when you do something for her. She clearly doesn't know anything about loyalty to either you or her husband, or the difference between right and wrong. Your husband's friend shouldn't be messing with a married woman the minute her husband is out of the picture too. They're all acting selfishly and badly.
Don't tell her husband -- let someone else tell him. These people are messed up, and your husband is right not to want to continue friendships with them..
2007-06-13 07:39:22 · answer #4 · answered by Neonzeus 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, what your both doing is not wrong.
The BrendaMyster is a trouble maker.
As for telling her husband? No, she will find a way to hang herself with the trouble that she causes that when he starts complaining about her and they're relationship, that then would be a good time to tell him.... But only for your husband to tell his Friend.
I would for sure say that you and your husband are handling the situation with the BrendaMyster, and her husband right now like mature adults.. Kudo's to the two of you... and Good Luck with Brenda who chose not to be your Friend.
2007-06-13 07:31:21 · answer #5 · answered by Charley 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am going thorugh a very similar situation...almost to the tee. I think you should keep quiet about it and just not associate with her anymore, she told you she didnt want to be friends right? My husband knows he can not tell me what to do under any circumstances, but you should take his feelings into consideration. I would distance myself from the situation, as i am doing now from the friend in my life who is doing the same thing. It will be hard, no doubt, but she is the one in the wrong here, not you. if anything...send her hubby an anonomous letter...that may do the trick.
2007-06-13 07:30:17 · answer #6 · answered by moonfairy_032175 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Advice is something that is usually given but seldom taken.
But I do have a suggestion and this is it:
Do not broadcast this info., meaning, let it stop right now.
Do not become involved further, it is under the heading of "viscious gosssip" and it will come back to haunt you one day when least expected.
Take your husbands advise, it is a good one.
Chose your friends wisely. Do not be caught up in their web of deceit.
2007-06-13 07:39:29 · answer #7 · answered by grannygoose 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just stay out of all this major drama.
It's really getting crazy when so many people are entwined together that way. You & your husband are a unit, and it's important to preserve it.
Try to take a few steps back from everyone, until the storm has calmed down.
2007-06-13 07:24:17 · answer #8 · answered by yogi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well don't you think it's a good thing to not hang around people with deceiving tendencies? I mean that can cause some unnecessary drama in your relationship....
The husband that was cheated on should know..
I mean that's wrong to keep from anyone, theres no point in marriage once you have cheated...
2007-06-13 07:29:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Step out of the whole situation. Why bring more drama into your life? You're an adult so just mind your business and let them sort it out. If you do say anything then in the long run you;d be proving everyone right by being a backstabbing beeyotch and bringing yourself down to their level.
2007-06-13 07:25:23 · answer #10 · answered by 1 Luv Girl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋