My bro in law is in rehab for alcohol addiction. And we do have family parties where their is drinking. I don't want anyone to feel awkward. Or feel we should keep our eye on him.
2007-06-13 07:19:28 · 17 answers · asked by Billy W 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I have a nephew who has been to rehab also. The one thing we learned is that we can't walk on eggshells around him all the time because he has to learn to live in the real world without giving in to his addiction. I would say that if he has just gotten out, it would probably be a good idea to keep him away from alcohol, but you shouldn't change everything just for him. He is going to have situations in his life with friends, at work,etc, where he will be around alcohol and part of recovery is learning to control themselves in those situations. Just give him a lot of love and support, tell him you are proud of him and make sure he goes to AA meetings regularly. It would also be a good idea for some of your family to attend AlAnon which is for the families of alcoholics. There you will get a lot of advise on how to deal with him and things to look for while he is recovering. Remember that alcoholism is a disease that he will have to fight for the rest of his life. The more support he gets, the better off he will be and the more successful his treatment will be also.
2007-06-13 07:31:33 · answer #1 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to avoid putting the broinlaw in a bad situation.
If alcohol is the center of the party, its better if he's not invited.
If alcohol is not the focus, then minimize it's presence by keeping it available but out of sight, and serving beer in opaque cups, not bottles or cans.
Also, don't make a big deal about the alcohol by even pushing it to the other guests.
Don't say,
"do you want a beer? what kind? can I get you one?"
Instead say:
"Help yourself, there's drinks in the fridge."
Have other activities be the focus: Game on TV, Stupid party games, karioke (lame, right?). Don't have people standing around just drinking.
You can have an event with alcohol, and so long as it isn't the focus, he won't feel left out, like he's missing out on the alcohol.
2007-06-13 07:28:56 · answer #2 · answered by Scott 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother-in-law is probably being taught some tricks to use when around drinking. A family member of mine marked his cup--so that he was sure he did not pick up one with alcohol in it. He also knew to leave the premises and call someone if he began to feel the slighest urge for a drink--or uncomfortable. He could not even take cough syrup, use mouthwash, or anything else that contained the slightest drop of alcohol (vanilla)--as that little bit could cause a craving in the future.
2007-06-13 07:28:01 · answer #3 · answered by Holiday Magic 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drinking in moderation or not at all are the only choices. You guys need to decide whether to have alcohol or not. If you do choose to drink, moderation will help your brother-in-law a lot.
And don't get wasted. Maybe have 1 or 2 drinks, that's it.
2007-06-13 07:24:19 · answer #4 · answered by michelle b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should drink in front of a recovering alcoholic unless they are completely okay with it. My aunt has been in AA for 18 years and she can handle being around people that drink without being tempted, but it may not be the same for someone who has only been sober for a short period of time. It should be discussed with your brother in law before the party takes place.
2007-06-13 07:25:22 · answer #5 · answered by bebeangelsmami 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't serve alcohol when he is a guest or drink when he is around. Also, don't eat chocolate cake in front of someone who is on a diet or a big sirloin steak in front of someone who has no teeth. All for the same reason. Enjoying something they are denied will make them miserable.
2007-06-13 07:29:41 · answer #6 · answered by Suzianne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would speak honestly with him when he comes home. If he needs clean and sober family gatherings when he first gets out then I think the family should be willing to help by doing that. Eventually he should become strong enough to resist on his own but at this early stage why rub his nose in it?
2007-06-13 07:30:05 · answer #7 · answered by brotherlove@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would proabaly be best not to tempt him, especially when he will be fresh out of rehab. once he has a bit of sobriety under his belt it might be ok but the best thing would be to plan activities where alcohol will not be involved so that he doesn't feel like some sort of leper.
2007-06-13 07:30:44 · answer #8 · answered by Neka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask him what he's comfortable with. Hopefully he'll be able to say "it's fine" or "it's not fine" and mean it. Maybe when you're having parties....he could go somewhere else? Or maybe in honour of his coming home you could have a no-alcohol party (and hide vodka in your smoothies to make it bearable)?
2007-06-13 07:27:34 · answer #9 · answered by Helen Scott 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i used to have a really bad drinking problem and hated it when others drank around me. i would be sitting choking for a drink and finally give.
now i can go to the pub with my g/f and just drink soft drinks might just be the company i was keeping
2007-06-13 07:25:29 · answer #10 · answered by the stig 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋