Why do men never want to talk?

Question

When my bf and I have a dsiagreement I want to talk about and make sure that we understand each other. He wants to not talk about or forget about it. Why? Why do men like to have open issues?

Answer 1

It's because we don't see the same issues as you do. Once you argue it's done. There's nothing else left to talk about.

Women constantly want to talk about everything and guys just don't. It's not in their make-up to be that way. Don't worry about it and get on with your life.

Stop beating everything into the ground with your guy. Take it as it goes or he's gone.

Answer 2

It's all about the brain.
Mens brains are literally differently wired than womens. Women focus on relationships in a big way. Men, not so much. Men are more black and white- happy or not. Women think in shades of grey. Why are we different... think of cave man times. Men hunted and fought to defend land. Women cared for kids, socialized and gathered food. Women needed to communicate and had the time and the surroundings to do so. They talked about food, where to find it, how to raise kids, talking to kids- lots of communication- and those that did well with this survived and had more kids passing on this skill. Men however did not need to talk. They hunted- they had to keep quiet and be alert. They had to relate in short and quick meetings- to hunt together and to feud to defend territory-short and sweet. Any gabby male back then was probably eaten by a preditor or killed by another tribe. So this is why they evolved differently. And we are still different. Men like communication short and sweet- fight get over it and back to life. Women like to look at every little aspect and discuss it. Who is right the male way or woman way? Doesn't matter. Just know that it is not his or your fault- you are just different as man and woman. Try and meet in the middle. Or if you want peace of mind- try and relate to his brain and you can be the 'man' about it :)

Answer 3

Because it's the way we have been brought up. We are taught at an early age, "big boys don't cry" and to hide our emotions or risk it being seen as a sign of weakness. When women stop saying they want 'the knight in shining Armour to sweep me off my feet' type of guy, perhaps we men might start to believe that you actually will listen to our concerns.

Now, that answer is a lot of tongue in cheek, but buried within is a kernel of truth. Just as you ladies have your 'secrets' which you will not explain to us poor, dumb guys...we guys have some secrets too. Maybe if we sat down and were honest with each other, these problems would disappear...oh wait...that's exactly what you're talking about. Dang...a 'catch-22' situation...

Answer 4

"Smile extra" no you'll face up to a grin. it would want to nicely be that they are intimidated or basically no longer initiators of conversations. some human beings do not verify with strangers yet maximum persons if spoken to will a minimum of go back the gesture. it would want to look to them that you're disinterested or they don't need to harass you. i fairly does no longer study too a lot into this. i'm confident there isn't any longer some thing incorrect with you or them. women human beings have a tendency to be extra outgoing as a rule so that's general for a lady to attitude you or talk to you before a guy does in public. for instance: Ask your persons even as they are misplaced who asks for instructions. often a lady can don't have any issue yet a guy might want to really rigidity round for an hour than supply up and ask for instructions often times. basically one among those issues. :)

Answer 5

It isn't that he doesn't wish to resolve the issue. It's just that he knows himself, better than you do. He knows that during the argument he may say something to you he'll regret. He just wishes to not hurt you, because he cares for you.

Many women want to talk about the problem NOW, and won't let it lie. The guy then feels cornered, and enclosed. That's why we say things to may hurt you. Just to get you to back off.

As a guy. I would rather have some time away from the argument, to gather my emotions. So I don't snap at my wife, and hurt her.

If you wish to talk to him. During the argument, tell him you'd like to stop the arguing, that you wish to resolve the issue, but not argue. Wait a while. This will allow you both time to calm down, and regroup. Not just 5 or 10 minutes but at least a few hour, works best. Then you can sit down together with the emotions down, and talk like adults, rather than yell like children.
Remember this. The person who looses control of their emotions, and starts yelling, losses the argument. Also, when a women starts yelling at us guys. Many of my ex's have told me I act as if I don't hear a word she is saying when were arguing. And she's right I don't. Myself like many guys, as soon as the pitch of the voice hits a certain level, my mind shuts her off, and I don't hear a thing. Kinda like when you were young. and your Mom started getting on your case. And you have this dumb look on your face, as if your stupid. Same Thing.
After two failed marriages, I realized this in myself. Explanied it to my now wife of 14 years, and yes we still have disagreements, but we go it as adults. As a result we have a good marriage where each of us have a voice.

Answer 6

Because men want three things; to be fed, to be laid, and for you to be quite. A discussion/argument is usually about the food or sex. But discussing or arguing would mess up the quite also. Better to have 2/3 than 1/3. So there will be no talking.

Answer 7

Its more complicated than that. Men don't have the emotional connections that females do. We also don't have the background that makes being open acceptable. You probably are not going to dispel years of not being open by just asking him to talk about it. You probably don't know him well enough either. Families talk about it, but if we as guys don't know you that well, you get nothing. Its just easier to forget about it. He probably thinks, why spend more time on unpleasantries when you can just forget it and quickly move on.

Answer 8

Since both of you are right, and neither of you are going to change their mind, then what is the point of talking.

The last thing a bf wants is a debate that will prove he is wrong, and his gf is right.

If you want him to talk, then talk about sports, cars, lines from action movies. Call your female friends (or gay male friends) if you wanna talk about relationship issues.

Answer 9

Because men aren't wired that way. Women have a fight or flight mode, as well as men, but men tend to go into flight mode, rather than fight. It's also because it's not "manly to open up" like how a female is so open with her feelings and expressions. I use to have this problem, too, but luckily, we don't have a conversation barrier any more.

Answer 10

Like someone else said, it's probably just your boyfriend. Most guys are willing to talk about problems, but not if their stupid. Ask yourself, and be honest with your answer, is the argument you and your boyfriend are having serious? Or is it stupid? And keep in mind if it seems serious to you, or important to you, your boyfriend might not agree. Women tend to be more emotional about things and will often make small issues into bigger issues, by trying to compare the original arguement to something wayy bigger, just to make a point. That almost never works, and just makes the man in the arguement angry, because his girlfriend is not seeing eye to eye with him.