Whenever I talk to women (at work or elsewhere) - they hardly ever give me any eye contact. Yet the same woman would talk to another woman with eye contact?
Im friendly and I smile a lot. I am approachable too. Ive been told Im pretty several times (only by people who know me).
So why do most women avoid eye contact when talking to me? Does this happen to you?
2007-06-13 06:57:56 · 15 answers · asked by Ian C 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Im not intimidating - really - Im petite - only 5'1 and Im 27 with a small face too.
2007-06-13 07:08:55 · update #1
I am friendly, polite and I smile a lot.
2007-06-13 07:10:05 · update #2
I think youve hit the nail on the head fizzyggurl - thank you!
2007-06-13 07:14:38 · update #3
I always get on with my own thing and am highly independant. I dont rely on others. So I am not needy.
2007-06-13 08:15:59 · update #4
maybe they are intimidated by you. like if a dog is afraid of you it will not look you in the eye not saying their afraid of you but intimidated by you that or they don't care about what your saying or maybe they won't look you in the eye cause what they are telling you is a lie it could be any of these reasons but don't worry about it just keep being yourself
2007-06-13 07:04:40 · answer #1 · answered by getemgirl2105 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I remember that one of the most polite and friendly girls in my school would not be included very often by the majority. Often people would see her coming and would be like "Oh no, not HER again." The reason (at least for this particular girl) was that her cheeriness was seen as neediness. She was very friendly and polite, but people thought that she was too naive and out of touch with "reality." Most people are driven back by people who appear to be to needy. Lack of eye contact means that they want to escape from talking to you. What you should do is stop trying to be perfect in front of other people, and be more relaxed and down-to-earth. You do not need to make friends with the whole world - let them be the ones to try and make friends with you. Just find a group of close friends that you can be yourself with, without having to be extra friendly around them, and once you are settled in a small group of friends, you will be surprised at how many people you will get to know as a result. Try to change your tone of voice and your body language when you approach others, try to read the tone of voice and body language of those whom you talk with, and make sure that you think about how they are feeling, rather than how you are feeling (even if you are feeling great). There is nothing wrong with you, it is just that most people are not as positive or enthusiastic as you are.
2007-06-13 14:55:51 · answer #2 · answered by driving_blindly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, it happens to me all the time. Since I was a little girl, I have always felt like I was on the outside looking in. When other girls would gather on the playground and talk to each other, I was always somewhat excluded from the group, no matter how friendly and personable I tried to be. Now that I'm grown up, it will still happen to me at parties or at work or whatever. I'll meet a group of women about my same age and they'll act like they're sort of sizing me up, and then most of the time I'll really have to work if I want to be included in their conversation. It makes me always a little apprehensive to meet new people. Men don't do this- just women. I've always felt very included with my male friends and random guys I meet. What you have to do, I've found, is make it impossible for them to not look at you. I don't mean be obnoxious, but I do mean you need to develop a commanding personality that people have to notice. Be gregarious and genuine, always have some sort of funny anecdote ready about whatever topic they're talking about, and most importantly, project the image of yourself as someone who's there to have a good time (or to be successful, if you're at work), who really doesn't care about their approval. Most likely you are making the other women uncomfortable by being so nice and pretty and friendly, because it makes them feel jealous and bad about themselves.
2007-06-13 14:10:35 · answer #3 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Most people avoid eye contact with people whom they are uncomfortable with.
Therefore, it leads one to ask...
What is making this person so uncomfortable around me?
Once that is answered, the problem can be solved or, at the very least, understood.
As for finding out, there are many ways but the one I advocate is talking to the most direct, honest person within the circle of women to whom you refer, then ask her directly what the problem is, but be prepared.
What ever the answer, take it gracefully and show sincere gratitude for the answer(s).
2007-06-13 14:08:54 · answer #4 · answered by faemable 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, this doesn't happen to me. Maybe you are intimidating to people and not know it. It could be that women know you are attractive and not want to look you in the eye because they are subconscious of themselves. It could be that they think you are too SURE of yourself, always smiling and friendly. Maybe you just stare at people too hard when you engage in conversation so they tend to divert there eyes away to break the tension. I don't know...
2007-06-13 14:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by 4evryoung 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're expression may not be open enough. I have worked with some incredibly beautiful women in job, global top models, actresses (a list) and they didn't have this problem that I noticed. I imagine it has to do with your expression. Maybe you should practise having a more open, friendly face in the mirror.
2007-06-13 14:09:26 · answer #6 · answered by lili4ndevil 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a lot of people looking someone in the eye is very personal and it shows you have a lot of trust and confidence in someone. But for a lot of other people looking someone in the eye is very uncomfortable and awkward. It probably isn't anything you did/do it probably has more to do with the other person's problems than you.
2007-06-13 14:09:42 · answer #7 · answered by flumen333 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lolz i have a very stupid answer for this but maybe you're sending the wrong vibes...see the only reason i wouldn't make eye contact with a woman being a woman is if i think shes interested in me or she makes me uncomfortable*... or she comes off too sexy..... its just awkward to look at someone when they make you feel kinda weird on the spot like that.. =)* but maybe its just me ...i don't know,..
2007-06-13 14:23:07 · answer #8 · answered by Fia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm a guy, but my answer would be to maybe lay back and relax a little. if you're head on to people that generally aren't close to you, they may feel a bit intimidated and may stand down, and avoid eye contact. family and men probably wont because well, family know you, and aren't really going to stand down to you, and men generally don't stand down to anything anyway, lol.
2007-06-13 14:07:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
so I would like to know where do they look when looking at you ?
my guess is that it is something to do with being intimidated by your attractiveness... seems to hit the nail.. on the head....
try soicalisizing with someone really stunning and see if she will look you in the eye or even how you feel when you look her in the eye?
you may find the answer to you issue there....
good luck...
2007-06-13 14:48:26 · answer #10 · answered by earthtriber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋