My brother got fired from a job about 5 years ago and has not gotten back in the job market. He lives with my mom. I feel like life is just passing him by. We offered to get him a life coach and then he never called. What does one do in this situation?
2007-06-13 06:48:31 · 10 answers · asked by kgirl 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
stop feeding him and kick him out of your mommie's home.
2007-06-13 06:51:02 · answer #1 · answered by search 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two options.
1. Get him into therapy. Perhaps he is depressed. Perhaps he has a mental illness. If so, a doctor or therapist should be able to help, and then MAYBE he will be motivated to move on with his life. Getting him to go is a whole, different story, though, and even if he gets his mental health together, there is no guarantee that he'll move on with his life. He's got a good gig going right now.
2. Kick him out. This is likely your best option. I'm not kidding. I am not being mean. Until the REAL threat of not having free room, board, and food is put forth, then why SHOULD he get a job? Your mom needs to cut the umbilical cord, or it likely isn't happening. Sometimes you think you're doing the "nice" thing because you love someone, but then it turns out you are actually hurting them. Your brother is an adult. He needs to learn how to act like one, and that is not happening on your mother's couch all day.
Sorry, but that's the way it is. It's rough. Maybe someone has a better idea here, but I greatly doubt it. Life isn't easy.
2007-06-13 06:55:44 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there is not much you can do to motivate someone else to get a job. Be-littling, or putting him down as a looser is not going to work. Possibly something he can do from home. Building something. Working on-line maybe. If he has not been out in the real world working in 5 yrs, you need someone like Dr. Phill to make him get off his butt. If that is not an option, then I would try to talk to him about writing a screenplay, if he watches TV a lot, or inventing a game if he's a game boy or play station kind of guy. Or if he's a decent mechanic, rebuild an old car. Try to think about what he does now. Even if it's just sitting on his butt watching TV. Invent a new TV show. Get my drift? Think about what he does, and what comes easy to him, instead of getting mad at him because he's taking advantage of your Mother, and help him cultivate a hobby, that he could profit from. Some people just are not made for the real world, work force. Help him find a goal to work toward. I have a friend that rides around on garbage night, and picks up junk that people throw out, and he sells it on the week-ends as garage sell items. He actually does well financially.
You did not mention if your Mother likes having him home, is he a help to her, or a burden?
I can promise this, the more you rag on him to get a job, the more you will alienate him, and the less he will listen to you.
2007-06-13 09:16:59 · answer #3 · answered by gypsyparadise123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really motivate someone else, they have to find the motivation within themselves.
But, you can change their situation.
People who have jobs they don't like oftentimes stay in them. But if they get fired, they can find another job right away.
Your brother needs a change of situation to motivate him.
Your mom is enabling him and is conspiring to keep him living at home. You need to get her to see things your way.
Maybe start by having her insist he pays rent. Even if he gets a job at a crappy place, it gets him moving in the right direction.
Right now, he's got no reason to get a job. You and your mom need to give him a reason.
2007-06-13 07:20:56 · answer #4 · answered by Scott 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do. He has given up. It is his choice. Call Social Services and have the amount of his cheque reduced by telling them he isn't looking for a job or going to school. This might teach him to go out and get a part-time job.
2007-06-13 06:57:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out and cut him off from inheritance.
Monthly rent bills are a great motivator.
2007-06-13 06:51:40 · answer #6 · answered by 006 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him an irrevocable deadline, don't let him have people over. Stop baying his bills. He will find his own motivation.
2007-06-13 06:53:34 · answer #7 · answered by Hector D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mother she needs to tell him to get to work - go to school, or he's out of the house. She's allowing him to be a sloth and it's hurting him - more then helping him.
2007-06-13 06:52:36 · answer #8 · answered by jessie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother has to find motivation from within...and it's going to be frustratng until he does, but he will evantually...
2007-06-13 06:52:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom has to intervene
2007-06-13 08:00:32 · answer #10 · answered by cho_seung_hu1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋