will my mum and dad divorce?

Question

I am thirteen years old and recently my parents have been arguing a lot. I am worried they are going to get a divorce.

When they argue I am usually in the room with them or in my bedroom but I can still hear them really clearly, and they say personal stuff about each other which I don't like to hear.

I love both of my parents and the thought of them arguing upsets me so much. If they got a divorce I don't know what I would do.

I am an only child so I don't have any older siblings at home who I can talk to. I have the best friend in the world who always listens to me and tries to help but she can't do anything to stop it from happening.

Please reply. I am so scared and I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

you're in an extremely tough situation because the last thing you want is for your family to break apart. hopefully your parents are the kind of people who think first before acting and won't do anything rash.

if you feel comfortable enough, you could try talking to your parents. try not to do it after they've had a fight, but when they're in a better mood. ask them if they're getting a divorce. and even if they say no, say you don't want them to get a divorce and you want everyone to stay a family. letting them know that a divorce could potentially mess things up for you can maybe put things into better perspective because while i'm sure they think of you, when they're upset at each other, you may not be the first thought in their mind.

as for being scared, talk to your friends. im sure you have more friends in your position than you may realize. make sure not to bottle it up.

i wish ur family the best and hope that they can make it work. not just for them but for you.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear that,I feel your pain because I am getting divorced and I have 12 years twin daughters. I was going to wait till my daughters grow up and understand woman`s feeling, but I could not take it. I and my husband had a financial problem. I understand you love your both parents, but you do not want them to argue all the time, and you scared to hear that. You want both of them to be happy, I do not know if you watched the movie "Mrs Doubt fire" or not, if not, try to watch it. Sometimes parents should live separately to be a better person. They loved each other at one point, but unfortunately they do not any more. But it does not mean they do not love you. They still love you. Do not worry and scared about that. It is hard for you to accept the fact, but life is not so smooth. There are so many problems in your future, it is a matter of happening sooner or later. You will be a stronger person as you go through the problems, and you will be able to understand other peoples pain.

Answer 3

Here's an answer from the mom's point of view. I was the mom in a situation like this, and we did get a divorce. It was very sad and scary for my son who was 13 at the time, but not too long after, he said it was so scary when we were arguing that he was much happier after we split up.

Please try to remember that your parents' problems are with each other, not you. It may sound scary to you when they argue, but they both love you very much and want the best for you. Please pray. God is with you, honey and He will give you strength and keep you safe. I hope there is an adult you can talk with: your doctor or nurse, a grandma, your friend's mom.
I will pray for you. If you can, go for a walk when they are arguing, or read, or call your friend just to talk for a while. Maybe that will help you keep your mind off the scary stuff.

Answer 4

Im sorry to hear that your parent are going through tough times. Just because they're arguing all the times doesnt mean they will divorce. What you can try doing is talking to both of them tell them how you feel--don't hold back. Hopefully, whatever the problem is they can reach some sort of compromise so they won't have to hurt you. This is the unfair that children get dealt, when two adults can't get along. You can also suggest they both see their local priest. Good Luck! I'll pray for you--that everything works out.

Answer 5

Sometime's parents argue so it may not be a big deal but if they do get divorced maybe it will for the best you have to look at the plus sides to this my parents are divorced and it sucked at first but think of it this way you will get to have to Christmas's two birthday parties which means double the presents and you won't have to listen to them fighting all the time they may end up happier in the end which will make you happier also! Just remember that it's not your fault sometimes these things just happen and there's nothing that anyone can do about it.

Answer 6

Hi. Have you told them that you can hear them? Have you told them how things are affecting you? Maybe it would be helpful to both you and them if you do this, although I can understand how hard it could be to do this. You wouldn’t be upsetting them to tell them how you feel, it would perhaps just put things in perspective for them.

It’s fantastic that you have a friend who is there to listen to you and support you. But I understand what you say about your friend not being able to do anything to stop it happening. But the point is, that the only people who can stop it happening are your parents. Make the most of your friend’s support, it’s important to not feel on your own.

If your parents decide that they want a divorce, then this is what will happen. It is traumatic, and an incredibly hard thing for anyone to go through, so I can appreciate what you must be going through. But don’t suffer in silence, feel okay to keep talking to people about it. Making sense of it all is very tough.

Try the NSPCC site, www.there4me.com, where you can chat online with a trained advisor. If you need to contact anyone urgently then contact either the NSPCC on 0808 800 5000 or Childline on 0800 1111.

Answer 7

Honey my parents have fought and argued for 30 years. I swear sometimes I wonder if they will kill each other. Just because you they are fighting doesn't mean that they are getting a divorce. Sometimes people argue when they are married and there are many reasons. Money, kids, stress, all are reasons people fight. For my parents it was because my dad liked to drink too much. That is why I made sure I found a man that doesn't drink and we don't fight. We have spats where we snap at each other but we NEVER argue. I know that it is hard to deal with when your parents are at each others throat. I can remember being scared as a child and huddling in my room while they threw things and screamed and cussed at each other. Just remember that it isn't your fault. After awhile you learn to tune it out. I have perfected that part of it.

Answer 8

None of us knows what the future will bring in this situation. I am so sorry that they are fighting. For some people fighting is just a way of life and no big deal. For others, it is the kiss of death. I don't know your parents so don't know what to predict.

What I DO recommend though is to confront your parents at an opportune moment... night during a fight or right after and tell them how hard this is for you when they argue like this in your presence and how it makes you scared they will divorce.

That will help clear the air I'm sure and maybe help overall. You may have to speak to each of them separately. When they argue like that, they are being totally unfair to you. Children shouldn't have to go through this kind of anxiety... life is tough enough as it is.

Answer 9

My parents seperated when I was 13 years old. My dad left Father's Day of 2004.
The last few monthes they were together, they argued a LOT. They werent as worried as they used to be if we heard them or not. Your parents may very well get seperated/divorced, but who knows? I have friends who parents fight ALL the time, and have been for a while, who are still together.
If they do seperate, it will be hard at first. I cried a lot and missed my dad. But I realized that they were going to be happier apart NOT fighting then together and fighting all the time.
You should talk to your parents and express your concerns. It may be hard but at least you will get some answers and you can let your feelings out. :]
Good luck!

Answer 10

My mom and dad got a divorce when i was 13 (im 15 now) its allright because they are still friends even though they live in differnt Contrys ( Turkey and İreland) so there is no need to be scared. By the way i am an only child aswell, just relax and think that tommorows a other day