If you've made a big mistake in a relationship, how should you best redress it?

Answer 1

apoligize,ask 4 forgiveness, 4give yourself ,make ammends & live life to the fullest.

Answer 2

It very much depends on the relationship and the mistake however in a generic sense ...

1. Admit the mistake. if you know you have made it be honest about it .. lying about it / denying it will make the initial transgression worse.

2. Apologise - sincerely. An insincere apology is an insult. If you really are sorry make sure that the injured party is aware of how you feel.

3. Understand - ensure that you talk to the other person to understand why what you did was a mistake, how you feel about it and how you can avoid doing it again.

I think in any rational, normal relationship the above should heal the rift .. if you have an irrational, abnormal relationship then this may not work and you will have to play it by ear .. else you could always examine whether being in this relationship is a good thing in the first place!

Answer 3

Complete honesty. I think if your lucky enough for your partner to forgive you then you owe them a full and truth full explanation. If you continue with the relationship i also think you need to be sure its not something that will get dragged up every time there is a disagreement, if you both decide to put it behind you it shouldn't be used as blackmail in the future! On the other hand i think if your partner cant forgive you then there's no point pursuing the relationship, without trust there's no point and if that has gone maybe its time to accept it and move on. I think if someone truly loves you then you can overcome most obstacles. Its a difficult question without facts but i do think honesty and genuine regret (on the person who made the mistake) is important if the relationship is to continue and grow.

Answer 4

calmly understand each others personal values. Misunderstandings and conflicts happen when your values conflict with those of others and when expectations are not met. You can let others know what your values are by telling them. You can find out about others values buy asking questions or observing their actions. Knowing what’s important to others and yourself will avoid unnecessary conflicts. Learn to listen. All people want to be taken seriously and be appreciated. When you listen attentively without interrupting you are showing respect. Allow people tell you; the books they have read, the things they did and how they feel. Listening will give you the opportunity to know there values and expectations. Show kindness. You can Smile, it is the simplest act to show friendliness. Make others feel your warmth by offering help and kind words. Acknowledge their talents and achievements. Give praise and appreciate their efforts. Show it in your tone of voice, your posture and your actions. Avoid arguments. Remove ego and pride. In arguments people want to prove a point using force, threats and intimidation causing resentment, no one actually wins or benefits. Step back and look at the situation from a different point of view. You are not submitting but altering the outcome by letting others see that you are committed to the relationship and "taking off the GLOVES" and trying to compromise. Forgive people they make mistakes. If you have made a mistake, admit it and apologize sincerely. Give and take. Give what you are comfortable with and accept what other can give. Contribute your time and effort without unreasonable expectations in return. When you do good deeds for others, let that be it's own reward so that you don't build resentments. Share your feelings. Ask for what you want and need. People can’t read your mind. Make your request with a smile be direct don't use "HINTS". Communicate and share your thoughts and feelings with them. Open up and allow them to understand you. Develop trust. Trust is the foundation of healthy relationships. Keep your promises. Once people trust you, you can have a healthy relationship. Do not assume that any one relationship will be perfect. It is human to experience disagreements and emotional pain. Working past these issues may be an ongoing struggle and do not call it quits when you do argue. When in a state of anger, we can not rationlize and often find ourselves losing control by saying things we don't mean. So just hang in there and work it out before finalizing a break-up that you will regret after the act.

Answer 5

Hello Yasmin,
This is simply a matter of looking before you leap, and think about what you are about to do and what repercussions will come from it, and when you mess up in a good honest relationship, you can bet good money after bad, that repercussions will arise.
When I was much younger, my father told me of a great 'unwritten book' called 'The Rules of Common Sense'it's a set of rules for the guidance of wise men and the ignorance of fools, and through my own close study of it, it has kept me out of all kinds of trouble, with my 42 year Marriage to a wonderful lady, and the care of our 11 children, 4 of our own and 7 adoptees, but who lives within the bounds of common sense these days? people are jumping in and out of all kinds of relationships, regardless of any mistakes, and indeed no idea about redressing any of the issues arising from these mistakes.
Any way Yasmin, good luck on this question, and I look to hear how you got the answer you are seeking, and promise you that this web-site of Yahoos is a great research resource.....Bye...Tony M

Answer 6

Taking responsibility for your actions is the best way to conduct your life - in all situations. If you have made a mistake, it is important to admit that to the individual you have wronged...immediately. Explaining the reasons for your actions is something that we tend to do, but it is a very selfish action. What the other person is looking for is an apology, and proof that you are willing to make things right.

Answer 7

By being honest with the person about what you've done, how bad you feel about it and by taking responsibility for your actions. You can't turn back time so it depends on whether the other person can forgive and forget.

Answer 8

Depends on the mistake. The best thing to do is talk to the other person honestly ad be ready to take your medicine.

Answer 9

1st it depends with how big is the big mistake,personally i think the worst mistake one can do is to cheat on him/her.it also depends with the character you are dealing with-how will this person handle the revelation of the "big mistake" if you think the person will not handle it and its going to be the end of it-then the ball goes back to your court,do you want it to end to clear your conscience? or can you handle it yourself and save the relationship?but remember the worst when he/she dicovers the big mistake in future.so my best bet is face whoever this big mistake has entangled you with so that they can handle the truth because eventually it will set you free.

Answer 10

Just confront them about it. Put it bluntly, no lies and clear everything out. It's a pain in the *** when the other person is trying to get around the problem or avoid it altogether.

Answer 11

You can't remake the past. You have to find a way to be okay with the now. If you or your mate are hung up on some past mistake, it will ruin you both.