Years ago, I became great friends with a girl in my class. Without explanation, she pulled away and we drifted apart. Now we don't speak at all. For a long time, I felt terrible and blamed myself. I took the opportunity to take a look at myself and the contributions I made/failed to make to the friendship, and I know that the problem wasn't all me, but I still feel hurt when I think about it. Our husbands got along really well, and she was really my only good friend.
I recently found out she's pregnant and due just a few weeks after me (they're the first for us both). I wrote her a card to say congratulations, but I'm wondering if I should just leave her be. I wrote that I'd really like to see her again, but I feel like I come off as desperate. I had attempted to rekindle the friendship a couple of years ago, but she didn't seem interested, so I let it be.
What would you do if you were her? Would you rather just be left alone? I'm afraid of getting hurt again. Thank you.
2007-06-13 05:11:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Thanks everyone. Your answers are really helpful. I think I'll just send her the card saying that I'm really happy for her and would love to see her again if she has time. She might not answer, but at least I'll know I did what I could.
Thank you.
2007-06-13 05:26:28 · update #1
Let it be. I have done the same thing. You can only reach out for so long, and if you don't get the returned hand, then that only means one thing. Just move on with your life and just know that you tried. There must be some other reason why and maybe its better off unknown.
2007-06-13 05:16:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should take the chance and reach out to her. You have nothing to lose and all the more to gain. So basically you are humbling yourself to reconnect with her. There's nothing wrong with that..
If she has a problem and doesn't respond or responds in a negative way, at least you know that you did your best. And you will have no "what ifs" to think about.
God Bless . I hope it works out the way you want.
If you dont hear anything after this last attempt You should definitely let it go. Forgive her in your heart for any hurt her actions may have caused you.
I believe in God and that sometimes He keeps some people away from us for certain reasons. Maybe she is not a loving enough friend for you at this time in your life. There's a reason for everything.
2007-06-13 05:18:16 · answer #2 · answered by atomictulip 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes to clear your conscious if that would make you feel better. But that doesn't mean a good relationship will evolve. Sometimes people change and have new things in life and don't worry about the past. I do believe you should not push yourself on her, if you take it slow it may work out. A card would be nice but don't write anything else on there about being sorry. Let that come later.
2007-06-13 05:15:19 · answer #3 · answered by char__c is a good cooker 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd send the card and make it clear that you would like to know why she's avoiding you. Make it clear that, while it might be painful to hear, you need to know what happened because you don't understand why she stopped talking to her.
other than that, leave it be.. she appartently has her reasons.. they can be something that you didn't even realize, like maybe her husband thought you were cute and she got jealous.. or anything stupid like that.
contact her one last time, don't just mention that you wanna see her, mention that you want an explanation.
2007-06-13 05:18:14 · answer #4 · answered by Judi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Desperate? You talk as if you were former lovers.
Definately meet and go out to dinner or something. As long as there wasn't some sort of traumatic incident which caused you guys to drift apart, I am sure you will pick up right where you left off.
2007-06-13 05:15:54 · answer #5 · answered by Nitro Pipes 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you could just try to call or write again and say that you are pregnant too and tell her that you are happy for her also and tell her that the you are sorry how things went down and that you would like to try again to be friends. you would like to put the past behind you both and just start over. and then if she declines or does not respond then i would leave her aone. GOOD LUCK
2007-06-13 05:19:44 · answer #6 · answered by knowssignlanguage 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i just recently contacted an old friend through my-space and she has gotten back to me yet but i am hopping she will :) we were friends when we were kids and i think i went out with her bf but he was mine first than hers than mine LOL we were really young but she kinda stopped talking to me after all that drama that was like 15 years back i am hopping she laughs about it now because it is kinda funny! so i say give it a go!
2007-06-13 05:17:15 · answer #7 · answered by notyochic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sending the card was an indication to her that you want the relationship. It's up to her to respond. If she does not there is your answer.
2007-06-13 05:15:22 · answer #8 · answered by jknapp52055 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We cant know what she would want so you can only go by what she does. If she does not contact you she does not want to talk to you for whatever reason. As hard as that is to accept you should try to accept it.
2007-06-13 05:15:24 · answer #9 · answered by luxyfoxy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i say just make a new friend similar like her or try to get back in touch with her through her family.
2007-06-13 05:17:56 · answer #10 · answered by quiksilverstreet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋