I don't think there is anything wrong in wanting my man to make as much or more money than me.... I know money is not the most important element in a relationship but it's the no 1. cause of divorce. Go figure.....
2007-06-13 04:55:49 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I make a little more than my husband. It all goes to the same budget, so it really doesn't matter. But you're right I do expect both of us to make a reasonable amount of money to meet our needs.
2007-06-13 05:46:45 · answer #1 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am pursuing a career (in education) that will never pay very much, and I'm fine with that. I hope to end up with a man who makes more than I do so that can balance out, but it's not because he's a man or for any sort of machismo reasoning. I just want to be able to afford nice stuff and vacations.
What's really important, though, is that whatever you do be important, life-affirming, and world-improving. If you love what you do, and you do it the best you possibly can, and he does the same, then it doesn't really matter how much money you make. Being equals is the most important part of having a relationship, though it doesn't have to be financially.
One other note: if you care about money and having nice stuff and a nice life and a good marriage, don't have kids. Nothing will drain your finances and time like a bunch of brats to look after when you should be concentrating on your life as a couple.
2007-06-13 05:15:15 · answer #2 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, money (or the lack thereof) can destroy relationships.
Many times, that will involve debt. The couples go too deep into debt and work themselves like crazy to get out of it. That puts a significant strain on the relationship.
Sometimes, one person will use money as a way to hold power of the other person. I read one answer where a woman was complaining her husband would not share the finances with her and only gave her a small allowance to work with. If she ever needed money, he would practically interrogate her to find out why she needed the money and what had done with her allowance (which was supposed to be fore groceries and household expenses). Meanwhile, the husband spent as freely as he wanted.
I would hope for a partner who made as much as she could. It would be nice if it were the same as what I make. We could be more equal in that situation. However, what I think is more important is equality on how the finances are handled. Meaning, both people contribute what they can and have an equal say in how the money is spent and how debt is acquired.
2007-06-13 05:03:28 · answer #3 · answered by A.Mercer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. I make more money than my husband and it's a small bone of contention. It could be worse, but I try to downplay it for him. Men's egos are fragile and most men (real men) don't want their wives supporting them. So our money gets directly deposited into our joint account - neither of us hold a separate account - and we pay our bills together. We both have an allowance for ourselves, separate from our household obligations, that we can use as we see fit. The rest is either recycled into next month's budget, used for a huge, agreed upon project, or added to our savings. I believe it's the only way a marriage can be successful and maintain harmony. Because you are right, the no 1 reason people fight, and ultimately divorce, is money.
2007-06-13 06:50:15 · answer #4 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money isnt everything....
Think about it, if every man in the world wanted his woman to make as much if not more money then him, most of us would be out there have 2 jobs.
I think that splitting the cost of bills etc. is expected if your living together and esp. married.... you earn as much as you need to do this if thats what you and your SO agree on. Some men like to take care of thier SO so in that situation the woman making as much as the man is not expected.
2007-06-13 05:01:01 · answer #5 · answered by hunni315 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I think it is looking at it as your $ and my $ that makes it one of the top reasons for divorce. You both need to be financially responsible. As for expecting someone to be your equal financially be careful what you wish for...who knows your SO might land a huge job and you find yourself being the bottom wage earner. Would you want looked down upon for that?
2007-06-13 05:11:33 · answer #6 · answered by linda m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's also the biggest cause of fights in all couples.
But lets face it sometimes you can work 40 more hours but can't make as much as your spouse.
I'm lucky my GF's a teacher, I make more working at Blockbuster part time then she does teaching, and we don't fight over money because we know it's just not worth it. She loves teaching and wouldn't give it up for the world, and I love to see her happy and will do anything too keep it that way.
2007-06-13 05:00:49 · answer #7 · answered by m d 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually, when I started seeing my wife, she was divorced and had three kids. I took care of the kids and worked full-time so she could finish school. She started out making 1/3 what I make, now she make almost twice what I do and has better benefits. We have argued about money, but it should never be your money or my money, it's OUR money...
2007-06-13 05:01:01 · answer #8 · answered by Robb 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Infidelity is the number 1 cause of divorce. I make more money than my husband does. Who cares?
2007-06-13 05:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't ask that he was my financial equal or better, but I would definately ask that he was financially responsible.
Most couples that fight over money aren't arguing about the money, but thay are arguing about how to spend it, when and on what.
So, as long as my partner is financially responsible and we share the same financial goals, we would do fine.
2007-06-13 05:00:35 · answer #10 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋