Lying Friend?

Question

My friend always lied told me she didn't want children she knows I want them and have been trying for over a year.She's seen me in tears and sat there and said don't know how you feel I don't want any.Yesterday she broke the news to me that she's four months pregnant(and yes it was planned,she only tried for a few months).She doesn't care that she's lied to me and she is full of herself never once regarding how I'm struggling .How would you feel about a friend like that?

She fell pregnant in Feb and was lying then about not wanting kids.She said she always had wanted them .She basically just lied to me.It's hard I don't want as friend anymore because she'd lied.If I had known she was trying I'd of been happy for her regardless of my own situation.It's the lying that as hurt me.

The doctors have done test one me ans my husband we are both fertile just not been lucky yet.I'm not jealous of my friend.Just hurt about her lies.

Answer 1

I would DROP her from my friends list. A person who would 'lie' about not wanting kids, then is 'full of herself' over being pregnant, while you have always said you wanted a child but are having 'struggles' is just plain RUDE ... and that RUDENESS is going to get only worse ... will she 'call on you' to 'babysit' so she can go out when you need to be 'quiet and relaxed' to help you get pregnant? And what will her 'kid' be like ... if she's a liar, isn't her kid going to be raised to be the same way with their 'friends' and the people they interact with.
I'm 'sorry' for you and your 'struggles' ... I had many struggles, too, but God eventually gave me five little 'miracles' ... and I'm going to put you on my prayer list ... because I 'don't lie' about any of that, or about my belief in God, and I 'know' that God does 'do miracles' ...

Answer 2

Take it from someone that tried for over 2 years to conceive...

Don't sweat something so trivial. I know it hurt your feelings but she was probably just trying to make you feel better and didnt want to rub things in your face.

Even though you say you are not jealious, i've been there. Its impossible not to be. I would see other pregnant women and immediately have these "HURT" feelings and jealiousy. Its normal.

Try to understand where your friend is coming from. Tell her that your not happy about the lying and you would appreciate if she didnt keep things from you no matter how much she thinks it would hurt you. The truth is always best.

Good Luck and dont throw away a relationship on such minor things. Its simply not worth it.

Be happy for your friend and move on.

Answer 3

It's a possibility that she could have changed her mind or maybe she just didn't know how to tell you that she was pregnant. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean to hurt you or lie to you. Have she done this before? I know how how you feel and I would be hurt too but maybe you should just talk to her and let her know how you feel. And once you talk to her and you still feel the same about not wanting her as a friend then so be it because only you know what's best for you. I hope you and your husband succeed in getting pregnant, may god bless both of you.

Answer 4

At this point, you may not find any explanation she gives satisfying. There are many ways she could have been supportive and tell you the truth without hurting your feelings, it's called "tact". It maybe that she is not aware of how stress can play an important role in trying to conceive?

Depending on your type of friendship you should say how you feel and that she has hurt your feelings. Listen to what she has to say and if it sounds ok to you then take your friendship slowly from there and hopefully you can regain her trust.

If this doesn't work be gentle with yourself and keep away from her as much as you can or give yourself some space. Eventually you will get your bundle of joy!

Answer 5

hi..... yeah I would be quite hurt if that happened to me, I understand how you feel though...if she felt you were a close enough friend she should have told you right from the beginning.... I mean lying about it is just silly, what was she going to do eventually when she started showing and had the baby?????????? hide it from you? I guess you really do need to have a chat with her....listen to her reasons... if she acknowledges the fact that yes she lied to you, or didnt want to tell you because she didnt know how you would take it or whatever it is (as long as she acknowledges it and also accepts the fact that she hurt your feelings) maybe you dont have to see the end of this relationship....but that all depends on what her answer is...... on teh other hand if she just goes on to deny that she ever said she didnt want kids blah blah.... I think you are better off without her...thats just my opinion

Answer 6

Well, first of all, she may have been keeping it from you so you wouldnt be mad, or more upset. But on the other hand, she should have told you. It just makes you even more upset that she lied, and you still dont have a child. Confront her, and tell her that you are offended she lied to you. Have you seen a doctor to see why you cant seem to become pregnant?I wish you the best of luck in trying to have children.

Answer 7

U know often ppl in yahoo answers advise others to don't think TTC when u r trying. they also say when you think it won't happen, then it happens. She probably followed that advise. She's probably the person who does not get her hopes up until it happens. Who knows maybe she tried for a long time, then decided " that's it i don't want kids". POP it happened.

Or maybe she saw how much u r struggling and though it is hard to conceive so lets not tell ppl we r TTC until it happens.

Hey thats life, just don't let things like that get to you. U'll only increase ur stress level, u don't want that while u r TTC. Good luck to u, since i am TTC as well tell ur friend to send some baby dust in our way.

Answer 8

That is a disappointing situation. She should have never lied to you. I don't know your friend, but maybe she's in a difficult situation too. It would be hard to break the news to a friend who would be so down. She may have not wanted to hurt you more and didn't know the right thing to say. I hope things work out for you and your friend as well. Good luck.

Answer 9

My best friend really wants children but suffers from PCOS and her partner has a low sperm count so as you can imagine, its not going well for them. I already have 2 girls and when me and my hubby decided to try for #3 i told her straight away as i always fall pregnant quickly. It only took 2 weeks this time to concieve from deciding to try and i told her straight away as she is my best friend and i knew she would be happy for me. I did worry about telling her coz of her problems concieving but she would have been so upset if id lied to her like your friend lied to you. I dont know why your friend felt she had to lie to you and it seems a bit cruel.I definatly would be upset if i was you and you need to decide if its a friendship you want to keep.If you do then you just need to sit down with her and ask her to explain why she lied. Good luck and i really hope you are telling her that your expecting very soon x

Answer 10

Talk to your friend. Tell her you are puzzled and upset and hear what she has to say about it.

Don't forget that, in your situation, you are bound to be very sensitive to anything baby-related. When I was going through fertility treatment I know I was acutely aware of any baby talk.

Listen to your friend with an open mind. Be honest with her about how you feel and ask her to be the same. Only once you have done that should you decide whether your friendship can continue.