i do should i do ask the friend about it. when we are at church she go and get him tea and if she is going to the shop he sit and waited for her and he even allow her to sit in the front of the car while me as is wife have to drive in the back , she visited the house every thursday should i confront her about it.
2007-06-13 01:10:18 · 32 answers · asked by DENISE E 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
OMG! Can you kill him? Can you kick him out? She isn't your problem...HE is!
2007-06-13 01:13:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is only a little bit with the woman. Your real problem is your husband. He is being very disrespectful and inappropriate in his behavior. The woman treats you badly as well, because she sees how your husband treats you.
You must speak to your husband and tell him his behavior is not acceptable, and that it must stop. Even if you are from a culture or country where the man makes the rules, his behavior is not acceptable, and you don't have to put up with it. Tell him he can either stop associating with the woman and treating her like she is the wife, or you will leave. And then follow through. If he doesn't stop, divorce him. And when you divorce him, get a lawyer to help you get every single thing you can get from your husband. Take the house, the car, the kids, the furniture, and most of the money in the bank.
I am sorry to be harsh, but he is behaving badly toward you, and no woman should have to put up with that. If he wants to be with the other woman, that's fine. Divorce him so he can marry her. But take everything of value with you when you leave.
2007-06-13 01:23:58 · answer #2 · answered by Bronwen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not confront her at all. You do two things immediately:
1. You tell her not to return to your house until you have talked to your husband.
2. Then you ask for an explanation and where exactly this woman fits into your lives. She did not take vows of loyalty and commitment, you both did and that must be worth something still.
Your husband is taking advantage of you and is treating you with a gross lack of respect and at the heart of love is respect. When that goes, there is no love. You must be feeling really bad and excluded just now. However, this is not just his fault, it is yours too. You are probably putting up with unacceptable behaviour already because you believe you cannot do without him, so he will keep pushing the boundaries of your patience and tolerance until you are completely edged out of that marriage.
Time for you to stop being a doormat and being passive and stand up for yourself, otherwise fear will leave you with nothing. Do not ask him to do anything. Make up three or four ultimatums and TELL him you need them to be done, otherwise you will have to leave him because he has no respect for your feelings. Even if it doesn't come to that, you would have asserted your rights as a wife. Remember that no one can treat you better than you treat yourself, and if you are taking anything he hands down, you have no respect for yourself either. If you do not react, the situation will simply get worse. By pretending she is your friend too, he validates his relationship with her and has no guilt.
Time to do something before you are completely replaced by someone else. However, it seems this lady has something to offer him which you are not giving him just now and you probably need to listen to his explanation of why he is behaving that way. He probably feels neglected, unloved or unwanted in attention and is making up for it elsewhere.
Time for radical action from both of you. If you do nothing, you will have a very painful and insecure time ahead of you watching this woman taking his attention and goodness knows what else. Good luck with that courage as it cannot be easy being the insensitive pastor's wife at this time.
Perhaps you might find some of my relationship articles in the source list useful.
2007-06-13 01:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by Ms CYPRAH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be a martyr. It's not the fashion today for wives to keep mum and suffer in silence. Go talk to your husband and ask him what is going on under your roof. You can always tell if he is lying. Confront him but do it in a cool way, no need for tempers to flare up even if you feel like clubbing him to death. If he insists nothing is going on between him and this girl, fine. Accept his explanation but don't believe. Next you talk to the girl and ask her the same thing. If she lies, tell her to keep off her hands from your husband or else everyone will know what kind of girl she is. If she values her reputation, she'll leave. Do it at once, don't leave it for another day unless you want to suffer some more.
2007-06-13 01:28:06 · answer #4 · answered by annabelle p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is blatantly pursuing a totally inappropriate "friendship" and you as his wife have every right to confront him about it and ask him to quit the friendship immediately. You need no other reason than to say it's inappropriate, you are uncomfortable and you want it to stop.
AND, don't let her push into your territory. Even though he sounds like a dog he's YOUR husband, not hers - keep her out of your car, out of your house and OUT OF YOUR FAMILY.
Stand your ground -- your husband and his "friend" are taking advantage of your 'good nature' because you haven't done anything to stop it. Don't be weak; grow a back bone (not intended as an insult) and end it before it gets any worse.
2007-06-13 01:21:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight...she sits in the front seat with him and you sit in the back? She comes into your home and he waits on her when she is shopping?
Is she his wife or are you?
I would not confront her...I would confront your husband and let him know that you are his wife and he is to treat you as such...not her. If he has a problem with that then I would say that an affair is going on and they are doing it right in front of your face. Wake up and smell the roses...he sure is balzy...I would not tolerate the woman in my home, car or anywhere around my husband.
If he can't deal with that, then it is time for him to go.
You are something else if you put up with this!!!
jeese...
2007-06-13 01:20:40 · answer #6 · answered by CC Babydoll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make your presence felt. You seemed to have been pushed in the background and for a while you've been happy to stay there. It's time you reclaim your house and your husband.
Personally I think she's spending far to much time with him. Go with your gut instincts, if you think he is up to something then he probably is. Don't accept to come second best. Find your inner strength and tell him what is unacceptable and confront her too. Tell her she is not welcome in your home whenever she likes.
Be strong and stand for what you want and don't give in. This is your life you are talking about.
Good luck.
2007-06-13 03:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard of women protecting there man by scratching the ..out of her Nah go for you husband and kick his *** out the door or even better get yourself a male friend you can trust and have tea and biscuits at home. even better go to a movie tell him your intentions why go behind his back he is being some what open , good luck..
2007-06-13 01:16:09 · answer #8 · answered by daryl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a little confused...is your husband with her now and not with you ar does he simply give her al his attentions?? Either way I would confront him and know he will deny it...but you'll feel better. I would also be ready with divorce papers in hand when you confront him.
2007-06-13 01:18:10 · answer #9 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband and this woman are clearly disrespecting you. You are his wife, Why does he need more friends? especially lady friends...open your eyes and smell the roses...How would he feel if you brought a male friend home?
2007-06-13 01:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to put your foot down and confront him. As his wife, he has absolutely no right to put another woman before you.
2007-06-13 01:16:52 · answer #11 · answered by neek_gotti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋