How can I tell my sister that she is "different" from others and can't use the "N word"?

Question

For example non-blacks will be racist for saying "N word" but blacks are always saying it and signing it

It's difficult to explain to my sister that she is "different" to others and can't use the "N word" despite regularly hearing it...

I and my sister aren't Asian... We are half-European and half-Arabian therefore light-skinned...

If she or anyone says "F word", everyone will be offended

But if someone who is black will say "N word", nobody will be offended

Answer 1

Just tell her its offensive! I hate it when I hear other black people use it, and if any other black person used it toward me I would be fuming. Most black people who use it to each other are morons!

Answer 2

We had a heated debate about it in the office last week. We are all white and everyone else was saying 'if black people don't want the word used they shouldn't use it themselves' as if this somehow excuses white people getting 'confused by the mixed messages' and using it (they denied this of course and said nobody should ever use it). I was the only one making the point that they were totally ignoring the historical legacy of white oppression, as if there was a clean slate. They incredibly even made out that there was no oppression or racism these days, as if a white person could be the judge of that!! I found their ignorance quite shocking and depressing. My point was that given the history and the fact that the word has such negative connotations it should never be used by white people. However, it is up to the black community whether they want to use it as a 'brotherly' term. It is entirely their affair and has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone else. I perfectly understand that some black people don't want other black people to say it either, and they are perfectly entitled to tell them so. I don't see I as a white man have any right to do that however. No more so than as a heterosexual I would feel able to tell two gay men to cut out talk of 'queers', or as a skinny person telling two fat people to stop calling each other fat.
It seemed to me that the others in the office felt narked that it was ok for some young black guys to use it but not ok for them, as if they had no common sense and just couldn't tell the difference. Even when pressed they claimed there was no difference between a white guy saying it to a black guy and two black guys saying to each other. Surely common sense that there is a difference?! I really hope this level of ignorance isn't typical but it probably is in this town as there are hardly any black people, whereas I'm originally from a big city and went to a school where there were a lot of black lads and around 40% asian too (all male school).
Anyway I'm ranting but it is good to see some opinions similar to my own here, I was beginning to think I was losing it. How can white people think they have the right to ban the use of the word in the black community too? That's before they even start on things like the MOBO awards or any other group or association that promotes single ethnic groups. They just think 'we're all equal now so why have them?' Quote 'why is there not a MOWO awards?' - PURLEASE!

Am I going mad? Am I out of touch my own white roots here? Help me out!

In answer to your question, see eriverpie's reply and employ common sense!

Answer 3

She is not 'different' to others - simply explain that it is highly offensive for white (or indeed other non-black) people to say it. The reasons for it are highly complex, but that doesn't mean that because you don't understand why it is the case you should not be able to simply accept it. There was an extremely good article in The Guardian about this immediately after the Emily incident in BB - suggest you start there.
I am also not sure why this particular instance of selective word usage is attracting so much confusion and puzzling - for example, how would you explain to your sister that it is unacceptable for a male to call her 'b*tch' when her female friends may bandy it about all the time - how are you gonna explain that she should not use the word 'queer' of a gay person, whereas gay people use it among themselves all the time....

Answer 4

With black people using the N word with each other, it isn't a direct insult. It is basically just a phrase that translates to "what's up my brother"......when non black people use it, it is a word that IS a direct insult, not only racists but meant to degrade by basis of skin color, mannerisms, accents, music, interests etc. to generalize a group of people on those basis's alone.....
If you want to teach your sister a lesson, have her call someone black the "N" word, and immediately tell them why you made her do it, to show her it is not appropriate, because if you don't she may get her face slapped.....
Regularly hearing the "N" word, Nazi skin head crap, anti this person , anti that person, is unfortunately in 2007 the world we still live in......some of us have grown with the times and would never think to use that word, not even jokingly, others are ignorant, or think they are cool.....
Then there are those who belong to all the races who have chips on their shoulders, and think the entire world owes them something and help to add to racism, just a bunch of immature ignorant bunch of people on the planet, nothing surprises me......

Answer 5

Nobody should be using the N-word. It doesn't matter what color you are; white, black, or otherwise. What makes you think that it is ok for anyone to use it? Just because you hear some ignorant black people using that word doesn't mean that it is ok, not even for them. If your sister is using the N-word, then just tell her that it is WRONG, plain and simple, and that she shouldn't be using it.

Answer 6

i agree, it seems there is one rule for one and another rule for others!

like Emily gets kicked out of big brother for saying the N-word, yet Charley says it and thats fine????

either NO one says it or EVERYONE can say it!

i am in no-way racist for anyone who would assume this, i'm white but my hubby is black and my son is half cast, my hubby personally doesn't get offended by the N-word but he can see why it would be offensive! he just doesn't get how black people can say it everyday, but if a white person dare say it they'd be called racist - i don't get it!!!!!!

there is a difference between saying it in a direct insult as in "F**k off you n****r" or in a street way like "whats up n****r" emily in big bro didn't say it offensivly, she said it in a street way yet she is still kicked out!

if the word is offensive then NO ONE should say it!!!!

Answer 7

Do you have any black friends? If so, you might get one of them to talk to her and explain how offensive it is for them to be called that by someone who is not their own skin color. It is a very derogatory word, and even some blacks don't like to be called that by other blacks.

Answer 8

My friends (when I was younger lol) called me "the lucky **** with a year-round tan!) and I totally didn't mind. Say it in a joking way not to offend her. And no, I've never used the N word, even to another black. Even though I'm half-cast lol.

Never call them coloured, I hate being called coloured! I'm black, or half-cast. I'm not red, blue pink or whatever. Somebody was said I was easy to spot, being coloured, and I could've clouted them! I don't see anything wrong with saying "black" cos that can't really be used offensiviely. Never say the "G" word, as that does result in a slap. Trust me, they will slap you...

Answer 9

Does she understand that using the F word or any other cuss word is bad even though everyone uses it? Just tell her it is a bad word and will hurt peoples feelings and others out there dont give a crap about others feelings.

Answer 10

Tell your sister the "n-word" is inappropriate, period. It doesn't matter who uses it. It's sad and wrong that some Black people use it, and rappers think it's cool to use it. It's a racial slur no matter how you "slice" it, and all racial or religious slurs are wrong. Period.