If someone you loved died suddenly, and you were given one last chance to see them, what would you do or say?

Question

My brother committed suicide and I wish I could ask forgiveness for not hearing his despair.

Answer 1

Sorry for your loss, but you have to remember that what he did was his decision and had nothing to do with you. You have nothing to be forgiven for, he made a choice based on reasons that were within him.

Given one last chance to say something to someone I loved it would always be to thank them for being a part of my life for as long as they were.

Answer 2

So Sorry about your brother! What a terrible trauma must have been for you and your family!...
But in answering your question: Facing anyone on the verge of committing suicide its not an easy task, and you should not feel guilty!... Given the opportunity of reliving the experience..
you can just say that: Life its a gift... and by loving life, life will love you back!

Answer 3

Well i was given this opportunity earlier this year, only not quite in the same circumstances, (A dear freind died of heart failure, she was only 38, i didnt know that she was as ill as she was, otherwise i would have said much more.)

Situations like these, call for private words one on one with this person, and an awareness that you are never going to have the chance again to say those words, so best you can do is make do with the words you have, and simply tell the person, how much is has meant for you to have this person in your life. And that what you have shared in your relationship, friendship, partnership, has made your life so much richer , by just having that person in it. Also if you do love them, tell them, because if you dont, you will regret it.

Answer 4

My cousin & an auntie commited suicide, although I was a bit young to remember this happening, I think it is very sad, however, when you know someone very close to you is dying, sometimes you just don't think of the right things to say, I sat with my Mum the night before she died & early that morning, thinking she would be okay { I know denial } I kept telling her how pretty she looked, how nice her nails were , her hair looked lovely, then she took a breath & she died, the one thing I did not tell her was that I loved her,-----

Answer 5

Damn, I'm so sorry to hear that..

Hun, Your brother knew you loved him I'm sure..And now, all he wants is that you remain happy always and don't repeat what he did. Don't cry or do anything that would hurt his soul furthermore..
Every time he sees you smile when you think of the good times you guys spent together, he's probably just feeling a lot happier and his love for you is growing a lot more.

And, if there's any time when you feel you wanna tell him something..Shut your eyes tight and say everything you wanna, straight from your heart..Cause you know he's up there..looking at YOU..

Take good care of yourself.. xx

Answer 6

I am soooo sorry to hear of your loss. There are a million things we want to say to our loved ones before they go and yet at the time we can't think of a single thing.
Sometimes people are resolute and nothing will prevent them from doing what they intend to do. When someone is serious about suicide, they NEVER show signs of it. One minute they are here and the next they are gone.
I doubt very much if your brother would have talked about his problems with you. People hide their emotions so well, it is very difficult to see when they are in pain, so there is nothing to forgive.
My condolences to you and your family on the saddest of occaisions.

Answer 7

Goodby and I love you.

Thats all I would need to let them know.

Nothing will bring your brother back all you can do is use the pain you are feeling to help others. suiciders cant always talk, thats why you didnt hear his despair. They are very good at internalising their feelings and wearing a mask for the public.

Answer 8

I feel you completely I had a brother that did the same thing and I wish I could tell him how much me and everybody else loved him and I wish I could of helped him and why didn't he come to me and tell me what he was feeling maybe I could of helped him get through it. You just got to deal with it it's hard but there is nothing you can do about it now. It's not your fault.

Answer 9

Hug the peron and tell them I loved them.

You can't blame yourself for your brothers actions. If he had really wanted you to know he would have screamed and shouted until you heard him.

Sometimes when one is going through depression, it doesn't matter whether people know or not.....its a matter of feeling overwhelmed and believing you will never get out of it.

Who says you still can't do anything for your brother? You can still pray that he is now at peace. Don't let anybody discourage you; GOD is a big GOD and I think he is best placed to reach your brother and to comfort him and to comfort all those, like yourself who've been left hurting.

Answer 10

I understand your plight very well. I understand that it is not easy for a life to slowly and painfully enter into vales where death is just a thought away. It could be that they saw all source hope failing them like the stars in the skies one by one being put off leaving behind bleakness of despair. But I do not belief that they did not put up fight at every step of the way along a deadly downward spiral leading down to self destruction. I think they made all the efforts that they could thought of. That their hearts flutter too in pain and fear while bleeding in the clutches of mercilessly reversed and interlocked locked logic of self-denial. They did all they could, but that simply was not good enough.

This leaves for the people who they leave behind to think, to grieve, to hope and pray that all is well in the world where many people live, where it is so hard to reconcile with the losses that life incurs upon us, where it is sometimes so difficult to accept and believe the very realities of a normal existence. Denial is always the stage in cases of utter grief and dejection. This is the reason that we have elaborate, sombre and quite distinctive customs and rites to celebrate death as a passage between two lives. This is to makes so much easier for a person to accept what has happened. In a full acceptance of the past is humility and strength of a kind and obedient heart, as in hopeful anticipations for a batter future is the light of faith and trust in life. We all do eventually learn to accept things, but with efforts, courage and faith we can see new horizons sooner, and new dawns breaks earlier even in the bleakest of all nights.

In your place, I would have listened, just listen with all my might, care and concern. I would listen as if what is being said is important. Acceptance of a listener can works wonders to brighten up a blighted spirit.

But there are many people around us even now, who would like to talk to someone, who would like someone to sit close to them so that they do not feel lonely. There are people who have lost hope that they will ever have someone who would understand why things concern them so much. Then there are people who have gone quiet for sometime, who would not speak, who are not dead, but need to live.