My husband is a workaholic. He recently said he was going into semi retirement, but guess what, he's doing more than ever! Dont get me wrong, I dont want him under my feet all day. But just once in a while...
2007-06-13 00:03:53 · 23 answers · asked by trish 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
Hi
I had the same problem work,work,work
One day i said to myself why?????????
Yes why kill myself at work and not see what's around me?
wife, kids and nature.
Like my grand-pappy would say speed kills, We all get to Christmas at the same time.
So i decided to take woodworking project and now i have time to live and enjoy what i have.
My Grand kids keep me busy in making toys and teach them woodworking and they love it. There face lights up when they see what they made from the 2 hands and fell proud of there accomplishment.
this is my reward and no money can buy it :-)
2007-06-13 02:14:59 · answer #1 · answered by pcc122 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have been told that workaholics, if there is not a pressing financial need for work, are using work to avoid issues in their lives. Now, 'issues' is not used in a negative/disparaging manner, but rather to mean an 'unresolved' matter which once resolved would immediately brighten up that person. It is not only workaholism, but any kind of other 'excessisms' in one's life. Any permanent or effective change will have to be by that person, so he will need to identify what it is that is bothering him eg maybe a 'simple thing' like work gives him some affirmation, being something he does all his life so far - this is very common for people who are past the retirement age. Bystanders can help by leading some sort of discussion with the person involved. It may a slow process, but it's worth it finally. Good luck.
2007-06-13 05:20:16 · answer #2 · answered by autumnleaves 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he may feel that if he slows down his whole body would just stop. My family all know that as soon as my grandad stops work he'll drop down dead (He's 80 and very active) so we encourage him to work, but once in a while take him on a holiday or take him out for a day just so he knows we love him.
I understand how you feel though, my boyfriend never stops and it's a bit frustrating with him running around like a headless chicken all the time, but thats just how some people do things. Take him out once in a while - if he's anything like my boyfriend then if you say you've already paid for it then he can't refuse, the thought of wasting money pales him!
2007-06-13 00:35:33 · answer #3 · answered by floppity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would find out what his motivation is and go from there. My husband is too. Most of the time I let him be. But every once in a while I ask him to focus on me for a bit. That usually works. And no I don't want him under foot either.
2007-06-13 08:10:37 · answer #4 · answered by gone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People turn to work fiercely - to the exclusion of everything else - only when they do not have other interests that can take their minds off work. You will know best what will really interest him and make him think a little less about work. Actively persuade him to cultivate those interests. Meanwhile think of a getaway - plan a nice holiday.
2007-06-13 05:28:25 · answer #5 · answered by Traveller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not find a hobby or something you two can do together,.Something you would both enjoy ! What about getting a dog and taking it for long relaxing walks together. Tell him this is you and his time now work has had enough of your time in the past . ENJOY YOUR TIME TOGETHER .Or you could occasionally wash all his clothes while he is in bed and then he cant go to work that day unless he goes out in his nightwear(LOL)
2007-06-13 00:23:58 · answer #6 · answered by Reggie girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he needs to find a 'productive' hobby such as gardening (vegetables and fruit), or woodwork. It will make him feel useful and will not be under your feet all day.
A lot of people, especially men, find retirement difficult because it makes them feel unwanted and useless. They come to the end of an era and don't know how to cope with the change.
2007-06-13 00:24:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand where you are coming from but i have no answer. my hubby was the same. self-employed doing 70 hours a week, honestly. he never saw the kids. he has worked like that since leaving school, he is 34 now. i couldn't stop him or convince him to take time off, or slow down. unfortunately in the end his health made that decision for him. i won't go into his health on here but he only works part time now.
2007-06-13 00:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my grandad is 74 yrs old, and has no intentions of stopping work. working keeps him young (which matches his young at heart attitude)
he is a fantastic man, and with him being in such good health, and always on the go, he is just so much happier for it.
(he is a taxi driver now, he used to work in construction, but he always speaks about, 'o aye, i have just taken this old dear to the hair dressers, what a lovely old dear she was' (forgetting he is no spring chicken himself hehehe)
maybe just asking him to have a few extra holidays, or the odd day off now and then, he might be more able to do.
or just say you want to go abroad on holiday, and you feel it is about time you both relaxed :)
take care
xx
2007-06-13 11:27:24 · answer #9 · answered by lovelifelivelife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't ever MAKE someone change. All of our changes come from within ourselves, so your workaholic husband is going to have to make those choices for himself.
There ARE, however, ways of coercing a man to do as we wish, without actually being overt enough that he realizes what is going on....
First of all, replace all of his high starch/empty calorie food with healthy alternatives. That means getting rid of all products made with white flour, and high in sugar and salt. Replace them with whole wheat flour products or multi-grain products.
Stop frying his food. Switch to steaming and baking with a minimal amount of grease.
Replace high calorie baked desserts with mixed fruit salads. Serve a lot of salads with low calorie dressing.
If he notices the change in his diet, just tell him that you yourself have been having a bit of a problem with your digestion lately, so this is what was recommended to you to counteract that. And that you are NOT about to go to the trouble of preparing separate meals for him--he is just going to have to get used to eating YOUR way.
And start feeding him daily multi-vitamins. Tell him they will help keep his muscles supple.
(By the way...NONE of these ideas have come from me. I am only relating what my Mum came up with to keep my Dad healthy during his retirement more than 30 years ago!)
Now for your ACTIVE meddling...keep him in bed longer in the mornings. I am sure you haven't forgotten how. Have fun rediscovering methods of pleasuring each other. I can guarantee you that NO MAN is going to turn his back on a chance of personal recreation time to do a JOB! And afterwards snuggle up with him, and discuss how it would be nice to be able to go out to those flea markets you never had time for before, or attend some special flower exhibitions or whatever it is your interests are--and get him wanting to please you. Tit for tat, you know?
My parents remained (naturally) sexually active until their mid 80's. Try shooting for that mark yourself.
2007-06-13 00:29:39 · answer #10 · answered by Susie Q 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋