I am having a difficult time coping with all of this my mother has been sick with various problems with a initial onset of dementia and multiple obstructions and surguries in her life she went to the hospital after a terrible stay at the nursing home where they were not maintaining her properly thus she was in kidney failure I made them call the hospital they came and the ER doc made a mistake when he tried to get a central line long story short she coded on the table and they brought her back and she suffered a great deal now unable to walk and confied to a wheelchair with inoperable cancer. She got terribly worse over sev eral long months and now she is dying I took care of both her and my grandmother who just passed four months shy of her 100 b-day I am extremely close to both and I am the strongest of the family and no one else seems to come or care. How can I get through this??? To make things worse I am disabled.
2007-06-12 18:25:27 · 22 answers · asked by sxy+brains 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I feel for you I really do.
My mother lost her mother and her granddaughter (My daughter) 2 months from each other. My Grandmother died first and then 2 months later my daughter died from cancer.
It was so hard on all of us. My mother didn't get to grieve for her mother in the way she should have.
Take the time to grieve for you grandmother, Take care of your Mother.
And Take care of yourself.
You are not help to your Mother, if You don't take care of yourself.
Many blessing, Faith
2007-06-12 18:31:39 · answer #1 · answered by faith♥missouri 7 · 8⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you at this time . This is where a good friend comes in handy. Someone outside the family is a better option when you feel as though you can't get the emotional help you need within a family. Everyone is coping or not coping in their own way so a person away from the family can look at things objectively and is able to offer advice that's not coloured with emotions. Hope you understand.
Being disabled doesn't mean you don't have feelings. You are a human being with emotions the same as me.
Good luck and I hope you find someone who you can talk to and trust. Don't forget your family doctor can often be this sort of friend. At least he will keep everything you tell him confidential
2007-06-13 00:53:35 · answer #2 · answered by i love my garden 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be disabled, but you have a very able and kind spirit. I am glad to hear that people like you exist in this world.
I wish you lot of strength in these difficult times. Talk to friends, go to a local church, talk to as many people. This will help you.
Regarding the ER Doctor, I recommend that you talk the hospital management to rectify or correct their procedures. If they dont, then consult a Lawyer who practices in medical malpractise. They dont charge you until the case settles in your favor. Hope you can prevent this ER mistake from happening to another family.
2007-06-12 18:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by Yash S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im really sorry. This is really depressing just reading about this. The best thing to do that I would do is just do the best you can with your mother and just be there for her as long as you can. Or until she gets better.
This sounds really hard, and hearing that your disabled, Wow, you are amazing. I really have respect towards you. And you have incredible strength already. Your disabled and your doing all of this, wow, I really don't know what to say.
Im sorry, but , I cant give you any advice, you seem to be doing than I would ever be able to do.
Im sorry about your Grandmother.
Im Sorry about your mother.
I hope you the best of luck, and Gods here if you don't believe in him or not. He knows what your doing and good deeds dont go un rewarded.
I have faith in you and I hope your mother does fine.
2007-06-12 18:34:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pray alot and I will pray for you. If you have any friends who can just be a good support system for you. Don't let any resentments or anger because no one else is there to help you. Anger will just get the best of you and your health will go down hill and there will be no one to help her. I've lost both my grandma's that were both like mothers to me. It is ver hard to deal with taking care of them with no help. You should try your best to enjoy the time you have left with her. Go through pictures and talk about old times.Write down as many old stories from her early years as you can. I should have done this and didn't. I regret it now.Just enjoy her as much as you can. Try looking at the good days and not so much of the bad. Contact me in yahoo and i
ll talk with you any time I can.
2007-06-13 10:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by susan s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God has a special reward just waiting for YOU !!
Your grandmother lived a long and wonderful and blessed life, she had YOU !!!!!! She is happy and healthy now so do NOT worry about or over her....... as for mom..... *sigh*, I know how you feel, my mother is also in a home with dementia and no longer knows who me and siblings are..... Sweeti, you just keep doing what you are doing, which is the best you can do..... You are a blessing and a wonderful and loving daughter..... When the time comes, give mother your blessing to leave this world and go be with grandmother and Jesus....... send her to God with love...... and then take the time for YOU to grieve and heal and get your strength back and to catch your breath...... do NOT worry about what others do or do not do...... you do what you have or need to do and let them have the regrets....... God bless and keep you in strength !!!!!!!!!!!
2007-06-12 18:33:57 · answer #6 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there and pray.
I look up to you being the strongest in the family
and I feel for you that you have both a mother AND
grandmother passing away. Just talk to God.
He'll help you out to cope with it. Ill pray for you too
and Bless you for taking care of them. There should
be more ppl like you with a big heart.
2007-06-12 18:29:50 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ I Love Lamp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you...What a very heavy burden you have on your shoulders....I care and I am not even related or know you....I can't physically help you, obviously, but it sure seems selfish that no one will take time out of their day to help you, even if it is minimal.....Sure doesn't seem fair. Understanding some people can't handle situations like that, but c'mon, there are lots of ways to help....Dropping off a bag of groceries, sending a LPN to go to your house and give you a break.....Since you yourself are disabled, the state won't provide anyone to help you with your mother?..... I lost my mother 4 years ago, she told no one she was sick, and I found out she died by a phone call....You may be the only one who is there for her, but you are there, and that does count in life, even if your the only one who seems to see it unfortunately....Our paths will probably never cross except on this site, but at least one other Human Being will have you in their thoughts and prayers.....stay strong, even though it hurts!
2007-06-12 18:40:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry bout this for ya
i would try to stay with ur family and pray and be glad that about thing u have trust me i kno hoew u feel kind of cuz my bffl just lost both of her parents in a car crash in memmorial weekend and injured her brother real bad and was supos eto stay w/the the whole summer and meet them now i cant
2007-06-12 18:31:08 · answer #9 · answered by 8717 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart to you there are no words to discribe ur courage and strength and will power. i really am not sure how to answer ur question but i jsut really wanted to let you know that for u to do that all on your on for so long and with ur two closest people takes a great deal of heart and strength and for that i applaud you.
if i were in ur situation i would make my other family memebers help me by any means possible even if that included guilt triping.
2007-06-12 18:30:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋