My "nephew"?

Question

My Fi's nephew is absolutely adorable. He's 4 and I've known him since I was 2. Today, we were playing. He leaned over and told me, "I love you" I was so flattered. I don't have any small children in my family and this is my first glimpse at having neices or nephews

However, I wasn't sure if I should say, "I love you back" I mean, I've work in daycares and they tell us to be careful what we say. Like telling the kids, " I love you back." can translate from innocent into the possiblity of abuse in the eyes of a parent. I would never do that, abuse a child. But, I'm so fearful from days in daycares that I'm cautious even touching other peoples kids.

But this is my future nephew. Should I have said, I love you back. Now I'm thinking he thought I didn't like him. I don't want him to shy away from me. What should I do the next time he says it?

I'd like the view of parents. How would you feel if your son said that to your future sister-in-law.

By the way, his family loves me. So, my relationship with everyone is great, open, trusting and friendly.

Answer 1

I can understand since you work in day care, how you have to be cautious. But since this is your future Nephew then, don't worry about the rules you have to abide at the day care.
Next time say, Ah your so cute, I love you too.

~faith

Answer 2

Many kids are so affectionate that way. And personally you are ok to say i love you back to him. My kids were like that with my sister in law and my brother in law and his wife before my hubby and i got married. They loved it, and i didn't mind one bit that they said love you back. Since your relationship with the family is close, you shouldn't be looking at it like you do with daycare. he is your family, or will be really soon, no he is already. I know that if i were the mom is would feel a little hurt that you didn't respond, since you have known him for so long. Kind of is hurtful too, to the child. It would be to mine anyway.
But anywho's that is my experience with it, and how i have felt and would feel if no response was given.
Go right ahead and tell that little guy you love him back next time, and watch his eyes glow and smile on his face, and prolly the smile on his parents faces too!!!

Answer 3

I think that is beautiful! And if I was the mother of that child I would have liked you to say I love you back to him. It is different in daycares etc but if you are a future part of this family, then it should be fine. I would quietly tell his parents he said it perhaps and tell them how flattered it made you feel and see what they say. Don't make a big deal of it....just smile and tell them.

If you are lucky enough for him to tell you again...I would definately say I love you too!!! What a gorgeous little boy!

Answer 4

Each and ever matter of relationship in this world is tied with thin thread of love an under standing & this bond can be maintained only when u r open in u r opinion so considering his age say him every thing frankly and to the point in polite manner u will find he is how changed !

no second chance to him or any one
he is u r relative do not break his heart but don't break limits
hope for the best!

Answer 5

If the family loves you as much as you say they do it shouldn't be a problem.... And plus if your going to be related to this person then how can it be abuse i mean he says i love you just say it back and if the family has a problem with it then that's there fault your just trying to be a good person and telling you family or your up coming family that you love them..... They shouldn't mind, and if you don't tell him your right he probably will think you don't love him and I'm sure you want to keep a good relationship with him. If he has a problem he can come to you with it, you have to build trust and saying i love you will help I'm sure..... I hope this helped!!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!!! e-mail me at [e-mail] tell me how things go or if you ever need someone to talk to or ask something I'm here!!!!!!

Kersten

Answer 6

You know you are probably right, it is stemming from your days in daycare.

It is perfectly normal for a niece or a nepher either one to tell their Aunt that they love them. There is nothing bad that can come from telling a child you love them.

kids need all the love they can get if he is telling you he loves you that means you are doing your job, you are taking your place in the family.

I would not think anything of some one even a teacher telling my child I love you especially if the child enishiated the conversation.

Answer 7

I think it would be just fine... My daughter tells her step mom's sister that she loves her... She also sees a speech therapist (whom she's been seeing since she was 3... she's 7 now)and tells her that she loves her and the therapist says it back.

This child is going to be your future nephew. I really see nothign wrong with telling a child you care for that you love them... If you are unsure you could ask the childs parents what they want you to do... but I'm just guessing they would tell you it's fine :-)

Answer 8

I have two daughters 9 and 10. I have sisters and brothers with spouses, would I mind if their spouses or fiances had told my four yr old that they loved them. No, as long as I felt like it was done in earnest. The only time parents mind things like that is when we(as parents) start to have a feeling of uneasiness. Like someone is being improper. Not when people are being heart felt.

Answer 9

I think that your thinking about this way too much. I doubt anyone is going to yell abuse. Children are funny and say the funniest things. I'm sure that the child knows you adore him. The family knows you and they know your not some pervert.

Answer 10

That is so sweet! Little boys are so great at that age. I am sure he will tell you again and when he does I think it is just fine for you to say I love you back. He is your family and it is good for him to know you love him too.