I'm 34 and lesbian. My parents are pressuring me to get married and have kids. I just don't know how to tell them. Thanks very much for any advice!!!
2007-06-12 17:06:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well it's probably best to tell them when they are sitting down. I know they're hoping for you to get married and have kids and such, but if they truly love you, then they will be fine with you being a lesbian. Plus, you can still have kids, by adopting or using a sperm bank and depending on which state you're in, you can also get married.
2007-06-12 17:09:41 · answer #1 · answered by angel_girl2248 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, have they ever expressed an opinion regaurding homosexuals? Knowing that will help you in telling them. But the only thing you can do is be honest. You could say some day maybe you will get married if you meet the right girl. Or if you already have a special someone in your life, just tell them you have a girlfirend. I really don't know what is good to say. If you feel you can't speak to them face to face then write them a letter. I wish you the best of luck, and hope it works out for you.
2007-06-13 00:13:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to decide if you need to tell them for their acceptance and understanding or if you just want them to quit bringing it up.
No matter the reason, I would invite them for dinner and just simply tell them
"I know you want me to be happy and live the life I want, and that life for me is not going to be one with a husband and children. I am still really happy and I hope you know there are lots of ways you can have a fulfilling life." You can go on and add the lesbian part or not (I mean you have held it for a long time at 34.)
I would tell them alone and not introduce them to your partner at that time. I would also make sure they understand you are a happy woman. That being a lesbian is not something bitter angry women do.
2007-06-13 00:28:18 · answer #3 · answered by donny_mollysmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your life. Your parents have had the chance to live their life the way they want to.
Your parents will love you no matter what...unconditionally.
You are 34...and too old to be hiding in a closet! I mean, if you were 15, okay...but 34? This is YOUR life. Own it.
My husband said to Eat Bush and Be Merry.
No wonder you're a lesbian... this is the crap I live with!
Good Luck.
2007-06-13 00:28:10 · answer #4 · answered by Allison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit then down and have an honest talk with them. People go through these types of these discussions with their family members every day.
I am sure that your parents have some idea that you are not that keen on the whole boyfriend or marriage and children thing, so that they will be initially shocked, but they will learn to accept your choice of lifestyle.
You have to live your life for yourself, and make the best choices you can for yourself.
Best of luck to you and your parents, honesty is still the best policy no matter what.
2007-06-13 00:18:35 · answer #5 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I might not have the right answers but i thought i would try....One have you ever tried asking them how they feel about lesbians? It may not be a bad idea to try that approach causally...however if its a bad reaction you definitely wont wanna tell them...I think you should just sit them down tell them you want those same things in life...however you just want that with the a woman. That you hope they understand and that their support would mean the world to you. Good luck
2007-06-13 00:21:57 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be completely honest, and to the point. Don't beat around the bush, or it will seem like you're not sure of what you're trying to tell them.
Then again, you're 34, they don't "really" have much say in your personal life.
I guess this issue might come up, once they start pestering you about kids again, and marriage. At which point I would just tell it to them straight, in private.
2007-06-13 00:12:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is best to just sit them down and be honest with them. I feel that all parents expect certain things from their children but they also need to realize that you have your own life to live the way that you choose. They may be a little disappointed at first... but I am sure they will come to accept and respect your decision. So, just follow your heart and let them know the truth. Good Luck.
2007-06-13 00:16:39 · answer #8 · answered by Candy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are only responsible for yourself and not for what your parents may or may not want for you . I suspect that your parents already know that you are not straight - maybe this is their way of provoking you into telling them your truth. Don't apologise or feel guilty be positive and assertive. Write down what you want to say to them and say it out loud to yourself. Rehearse what you would say if they questioned you or responded in a less than positive way. These rehearsals will clarify your thoughts and put you in a position of strength. They are lucky to have a daughter who loves and cares about them. You will feel relieved and be free to live your life in the way that you choose. The best is yet to come - by one who really knows ! Enjoy !!!
2007-06-13 13:32:24 · answer #9 · answered by anniegardener 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just plain out and out tell them the truth. You are 34, and not a child anymore. You should not be judged on your sexual preference. If they want grandchildren, you can always adopt. Best of luck to you.
2007-06-13 00:20:52 · answer #10 · answered by che_rae_gra53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋