I'm SO SCARED!!?

Question

Ok here's the thing. I was raised in the mormon religion and my whole family revolves completely around the church. I've recently started allowing myself to address the doubts that have been in my mind for ages, and in the last 6 months, i have found i no longer believe the church is true. I've been doing a TON of research on the foundation of the religion, and looking into the deeper beliefs, and i've found so many lies and so much dirt that's just been covered up. I dont know how i missed it before. It just goes to show i didnt even know my own religion.

I want to tell my parents that i no longer want to take part in THEIR beliefs, and i have plenty of evidence to support MY unbelief, so i'm not worried about not having reason. The problem is that no matter what i say, i'm not sure they'll take me seriously or respect my wishes (not to have to attend church or take part in their "rituals" anymore). I'm only 15, and sometimes it's hard for them to think of me as any more than a...

hormone-high teenager, and that this is all a phase. They'll get it in their heads that if they force the church back on to me, i'll eventually "come back into the fold."

I KNOW what i believe...and NOTHING can change my mind. I'm finally thinking for myself and i've never been more serious about anything in my life. There's a scripture (matthew 10:37) that says if you love your parents more that god, you arent worthy of him. I know that this is what i have to do, i just dont know how. I'm so scared my parents will not listen. What can i do to get it through to them that i mean business? Any tips? stories? experiences? ANYTHING that will help! Thanks and i really appreciate it!

Answer 1

It is important to see the falacies in the mormon church, and to be able to respond to your feelings. I believe that God is pulling you in the right direction and possibly leading you into a church that teaches the holy bible.

It is very difficult to be in the situation you are in, however, you want to talk with people from a local non denoinational church or one that yopu have your heart set on.

I do recommend you look toward God still and not walk away from Him at this point. He has so much for you , especially now you have seen the truths and know that you don't belong in this church.

We will be praying for you to be guided by Jesus and that your parents would come to know the truth as well. If you do get into a different church, let the holy spirit guide you and possibly your mom and dad will follow.

Im not saying this will be easy, but you will at least want to try to pull close to God, by repenting of your sin, even though you have been pretty much forced to be involved in this religion. You also want to ask Jesus into your heart and let God lead you to where He wants to. This is not in its entirety the answer I wanted to give, but I hope it helps.

God Bless!

Answer 2

Speaking as a mother, I hope you can remain under the protection and guidance of your parents until you are at least 18. I am not a Mormon, and I can understand your doubts about the church's unusual beliefs. However, you really aren't old enough yet to strike out on your own religiously. This is not an emergency; you have plenty of time to form your own opinions and make other religious commitments as you grow up. God is infinitely patient.

It wouldn't hurt to have a calm conversation with your parents about this. But you need to communicate to them that you respect and love them for everything they have done for you, and that you respect their right to practice Mormonism. It wouldn't be wise to go into the "lies and dirt" when you talk to them; just say you have doubts, and that you would appreciate them allowing you to have some "freedom of thought" on the subject of religion. To attack their beliefs in an angry way would be denying them the respect that you want from them. Maybe they can moderate the religious demands they can make on you, but their consciences may not allow this.

Remember that religion is only one part of your family life, and that your parents have cared for you in many non-religious ways. Then, try to put the religion issue "on hold" until you're living apart from them as an adult. Then you can actively pursue your own spiritual journey without alienating them so much.

Answer 3

Where have you been doing your research? If it's anti-mormon sites, or sites that say they are indifferent, they won't have the whole story either. The anti-LDS sites really do seem to make sense. They take our principles and doctrines and twist it ever so slightly so that there is truth, mingled with false statements. There is almost no way, unless you really know the religion, to tell the difference between the truth and the twisted parts.

I'm adding a website for you to check out. There are many things on there that answer a ton of questions. The site also gives references from non-LDS sources. Check them out also. They may help you.

Also, take your concerns to God. Ask Him your questions. Ask Him to show you the right way. I know right now, you think you know the way you should go, but maybe God has other plans for you.

I have learned in my life, after many struggles, a phase of unbelief, and research into different churches that the LDS faith is closer to what I truly believe then what others believe. I also did "research" into the LDS church. I learned a lot of things that I wish I didn't know. But, all of these things I could later find as being false statements made by people who are either excommunicated, or have left the church for various reasons. Of course they are going to say things against the church!! They are mad at us!! I'm sure they want to take everything taught and twist it to sound terrible. If you take all those things, and bundle them together, you could make a pretty good hot air balloon!! Yes, they will succeed in turning people away from the church. Yes, they will spread things that are wrong and will make others believe we are really bad or weird. I don't care. I have had to learn to take things and let them roll off my back.

Just know that as a teenager, you really don't have many rights. You need a place to live, and guidance right now. Try talking to your parents. Ask them about what you have found. Do it in a way that seems non-threatening. But right now, you really do have to respect their wishes.

Answer 4

I believe that it is healthy to study theology and study various religions and beliefs so that you have a deeper understanding of the world you live in.

There is some beautiful and wonderful stuff about the mormon church that you can hold on to throughout your life. Look for what does work for you rather than what isn't working. Is community important to you? Your friends? Focus there for awhile - three more years of doing what you're asked to by your parents really isn't that long.

Another poster was right. As long as you live under their roof, you must follow their rules. You can ask to be excused from weekly services and study groups, but chances are that your request may be denied. It's part of growing up and your parents are doing their best to help shape you into the best person you can be.

Hang in there!

Answer 5

Tough spot to be in honey, God gave us the 5th commandment for a reason. You should honor your parents as God has said. His promise of a long and happy life for honoring them is real. Realize that honoring your parents doesn't mean you necessarily have to believe everything they believe. You do not need to confront them with your doubts. Continue your search for the truth on your own and continue to honor them. When you become of age you will have the opportunity to make your own decisions concerning what beliefs you wish to follow. Be brave and strong and understand that God knows who and where you are and will be with you the entire way. God bless.

Answer 6

I'm not so sure you really need to tell them. If it were me, I would go along with the program and continue to learn on my own. It is not wrong to question. When you move out, then they will not have any control over you but don't do that until you are like 21. My suggestion is not to let them into your head about your beliefs. They will only try to persuade you that you are wrong. Even the man who claimed to have been visited by Jesus and God, was confused about all the different sects of Christianity and questioned. Eventually he started your religious sect. Pull out all the positive things from their teachings. Mormons are very faithful to God but they tend to be a bit more concerned about getting people to believe their faith than teaching about Jesus and his words. Study them from the Bible and follow them. It does say to honor you father and mother so, until you are older, let them have their way. It will not hurt you and within you can have your own program. Having a relationship with God is more important that anything you can do , so now you are just being tested. Go with the flow and it will all work out for you. You really don't need to upset your parents. No one can take your thoughts away from you and you don't have to give them away either. Be discerning about all you are taught and learn from books. That is important.
Go with God and his Love!
Rev. TomCat

Answer 7

OK, so you've done a bunch of research.... have you prayed? God knows what is true, even better than you or your parents, or even President Hinkley.

Joseph read the passage in James and went ot the woods and prayed. It's always a good idea to consult Father in major decisions like this.

Remember what Jesus said to His apostles before He died- that He'd send a second Comforter (Holy Ghost) to teach and guide them. As you are obedient, the Holy Ghost will teach and guide you as well.





Regarding talking to your parents... Continue to keep the commandments as you see fit. Ask if you can attend services in another church. Tell them that you're exploring.....

Answer 8

I went through the exact same thing, 32 years ago. I decided to keep my views to myself until I left home to go to college. My first trip home I told my parents. Both took the news much better than I expected. I actually had more trouble with my siblings than my parents.

There's really no telling what is the right approach for you to use with your family, but consider two things 1) holding secrets from your family will distance you from them, and 2) you'll want to tell them eventually, perhaps its better to get it over with sooner than later.

Stay strong. And be prepared to have feelings of guilt, imposed on you both from others and also from yourself. It's the guilt from inside that might be hardest on you. Our minds are very complex, and your subconscious mind holds within it many years of indoctrination, things you were convinced were true before you gained the ability to think critically. It's not possible to remove all of that indoctrination from your subconscious mind overnight. It will quite likely take years to work through it. But believe me, it's worth it.
-- edit --
There is a lot of good advice from others above. My gentle nudging to tell your parents sooner than later might be wrong. Only you know your parents and can predict how they will respond. Good luck!

Answer 9

Keep it to yourself until you are old enough to be out on your own. Seriously! When someday you do let it out in the open be prepared. Some family and friends may be unkind and even stop having anything to do with you. It can hurt a little so you better be sure that you can handle it. They may say things like ''Where did I go wrong?'' What happened to change you? I feel sorry for you. etc etc

Answer 10

You should keep reading the bible like you are, so when you tell them of your viewpoint on their religion, you can back up your beliefs. You may want to take it easy/slow in letting them know how you feel, to not ruffle too many feathers, esp since they still are your parents. Are you also searching for the True Religion? Add a comment.