i had a crush on this man for 7 months which i was depressing over and i still like him, and my mom knows, but she says i need help, and so does every1 else..is there something wrong with me.
2007-06-12 16:50:15 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Nothing is wrong with it. More than likely you are not mature enough to understand what this actualy entails though.
2007-06-12 16:53:05 · answer #1 · answered by Scott B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not unusual to project affections towards an unrealistic target, when you are uncomfortable about your self in your sexuality. Many young people do a similar thing by projecting their affections towards celebrities or perhaps people who live in different areas or countries, as a way of experimenting with the feelings involved. If you have a crush on an older man, if it's nothing more than a crush, and you have no intention of actually acting on the feelings, then it is not too much of a problem. If you are actively seeking out sexual contact with him then you have a more serious problem. Eighteen and forty is far too large an age difference for a healthy relationship, and it also raises questions of morality.
Any way good luck and remember healthy, happy people seek realistic and available relationships if this is not happening then you may need to have a good think about what is really causing these feelings.
Regards
2007-06-13 00:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is nothing wrong with you. However, I need to share this with you so you'll be warned. 40-ish men usually are very willing to begin a relationship with a young person such as yourself. However, you will find that you don't have much in common. He will expect you to act 40-ish, and you will want to act your age. You will end up resenting him for this, and he will resent you for what he perceives to be your immaturity. Enjoy your youth, for it won't last long. Don't give up your right to be and act like a young person for anyone.
Above I said that there is nothing wrong with you. But, when a man wants a relationship with someone who is over half his age, there is probably something wrong with him. Also remember this: He is at least 22 years older than you. When you're 18, that doesn't seem to matter. When you are 40 and he's at least 62, believe me, the age difference will definitely matter to you. I hope you make the right decision. I know what I'm talking about because when I was 19, I dated a man who was 43. It ended badly. I know other people who have done the same thing and it ended badly for them, too. Be mature for your age and learn from others mistakes. As far as the person who answers that they really "clicked"........ are they still together? How and why did it end if they are not? Peace.
2007-06-13 00:01:42 · answer #3 · answered by superfluity 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure most people will tell you that this is horribly wrong, but this is just a societal thing. There are many countries in the world where relationships like this are fairly common.
I'm in my 40's and have dated a 19 yo and a 23 yo within the last few years. They were both much more mature than their peers and just weren't "into" the same things.
These relationships were very solid and I'm still good friends with both girls. One of them is getting married in a couple of months and I'm going to be an usher.
To me, age is very relative. When I was 26 I dated a woman who was 35 and that was also a great relationship.
On the other hand, I have seen these types of relationships that seemed really messed up. (Anna Nicole and J. Howard Marshall for instance.)
But of course, if you think about it, how many battered women are about the same age as their bf / husband?
2007-06-13 00:27:34 · answer #4 · answered by STEVE C 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might just be looking for a man as a father figure in your life. Someone to remind you of your dad and take care of you. A lot of women do that. You're only 18, I'm sure your feelings about people will change drastically over the next few years and you may end up liking younger people or people your own age. If not, then there's really no major problem with it. You're an adult, and you cannot help how you feel for someone. Just be careful not to get hurt =)
2007-06-12 23:55:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If everyone is telling you that you need "help", it sounds like they know you may have some issues that need dealing with. I agree with the other answers that give an unfulfilled relationship with your father as the incentive for this "attraction". I think what you're looking for is acceptance and attention from an older man, because you didn't get it from your Dad. I don't know you....but if all your friends and your Mom tell you that you need some help, maybe you do. And I mean this in a friendly way.
2007-06-13 00:19:41 · answer #6 · answered by Esther 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you choose someone based solely on their age you are probably missing out regardless of the age. It is a personal preference and 18 is old enough to make your own decisions. I would suggest you base your ideas of a good relationship on more than age.
2007-06-12 23:57:43 · answer #7 · answered by djmantx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is wrong.. You are looking for a father figure instead of a boyfriend/husband. I had a chance to marry a very young woman when I was in my early 40's and a good friend advised me to not do it. I didn't and I am so glad as I have another friend that did and they are so unequally yoked in life. She is young and wants to do things and he is fighting high blood pressure and old age and wants to sit in the rocker.
2007-06-12 23:55:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You must spend a lot of time around older people.....Usually people are attracted to people who they are around....Yes, I do think it is strange that you should be interested in someone twice your age. Perhaps your looking for a Father figure who will nurture you? It just sounds to me that you may not have had a dad and need one.....Please, Please look to people your OWN age...Most older men are not attracted to girls so young and if they are it's only for one reason, then in that case Both of you would be wrong......
2007-06-12 23:58:38 · answer #9 · answered by Mona Lisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with you.
Although it seems unnatural,for all you know he's feeling the same way towards you.
Have you talk to him about your feelings?
Maybe you see him as a father figure or a role model.
Good Luck N All the Best!
2007-06-13 00:12:34 · answer #10 · answered by **meel** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong, per se, morally or psychologically, with a girl's attraction to an older man; however, it may be very impractical. Now that you're an adult, you have to think about that, too. What you may need help with is your depression.
2007-06-12 23:57:33 · answer #11 · answered by Thucydides 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋