Answer if your father left your mom while she was pregnant and she had to raise you by herself...?

Question

That happened to me and today I am a woman who feels very sad to see all this man who get girls pregnant and then walk away from their responsibility.These man has no idea how much they hurt their child who had to grow up without a father...it will stay with me forever and I will never forget how much pain my father caused me to feel all trough this years,I never had him there for me and I never had the chance to call him father.It still hurts me until today.

My father don't mean **** to me and never will.I have his phone number but I never called because he just don't deserve to hear my voice,and if I called I would call him a ******* *** *****

If you have been trough this post your comments here please.

Thank you .

I feel really sad when I see young guys who leaves their girlfriends pregnant and never come back = (

The reason I have his number is because he has the same number since he meet my mom.

And NO I don't care for him at all.

Answer 1

You have every right to be angry with your father for the way he left you and your mother. It still upsets you. There are many men in the world that are excellent fathers, and others that are not. Perhaps he left because he could not handle the responsibility of being a husband or a father. Perhaps he is simply selfish. But I have also know of mothers that were horrible to their children as well. There are a multitude of reasons why some adults turn out to be lousy parents.

To me you have three choices. 1) Continue to stay angry with you father. Burn up any good thoughts with hatred. Use all your energy and focus on only the negative thoughts from your past. Personally for me this would totally exhausting. 2) Don't give your father another single thought. Not a negative thought or a positive thought. Absolutely nothing. Again personally I would find this one impossible. When I've been extremely angry with someone, that's when I've thought about that person the most. 3) Forgive. However I can tell in your writing, that you are not yet ready to forgive him, are you? It still burns. The wound is still so deep. I believe as bad as your father may have been, he didn't leave you and your mother because he just wanted to hurt you so badly. He didn't say to himself," I'm going to get them, they'll be sorry. I'll make them hurt forever." No he left because he was thinking of himself. There is a saying which is very true, "Time is the great healer". In time, perhaps in a long time, you may come to that place where you can forgive.

It is really good that you've written to Answers about this. It shows a beginning. It shows that you are seeking out some sort of solution. I applaud you for this effort. Try to work past your anger. Counseling is an excellent way in dealing with past scars and all the anger with those scars. Another thing you may want to try, if the counseling is too much at this time, that would be to write down your feelings. Everything. Get them out. I use this strategy from time to time myself and it works. After you get out the negative energy, write down the good things as well. Perhaps, just perhaps, your father has grown up over these years apart. Perhaps now he's a little less selfish. Who knows. Good luck. Don't quit on him, just yet.

Answer 2

I agree with you on this.. Some guys don't treat women with the respect they deserve.. As a woman I also feel sad to hear those things and I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. But you're not the only one. Although I have a father, he left home 6-7 years ago. So my mom had to work really hard for me and my brother.. Though in this case it's not only his fault, but also my mom's. So.. yeah.. You have to, at least, be thankful that you still have your mom.. and don't feel too bad 'cause you're not the only one.. You've got some friends..^^ Good luck though..^^

Answer 3

I am not excusing your father, by any means. But realize that no-one is perfect, not even you.

Yes, he may have left, but he may have had many regrets about it. Sometimes men keep everything inside (like fathers) and you don't know exactly what they are thinking. Maybe, because of how he was raised, he didn't have the skills or knowledge on WHAT to do about this pregnancy. Maybe he panicked and ran. How will you ever know?

He may feel like a failure, a loser because he did leave. Now he may not know how to let you know all of his regrets. You should, at least, talk to him. Think of it this way...it is not that "he doesn't deserve to hear your voice," but rather you deserve to hear his voice for your own peace of mind. You deserve to find out why he left you.

This is definetely something that you need to get resolved in your own life. Don't take this experience out on every man that you meet. There are so many wonderful, caring men out there. I certainly met one and I had three children at the time. My first husband was rotten to the core and cared nothing for his kids. But I didn't give up on men. The one I found is the best dad ever to our kids. Together...we have his, mine and ours...SEVEN!

Try to forgive your dad. No...not for his sake, but for your sake! It will make you feel truly free from this burden of question and uncertainty and blame. I am saying a small prayer for you. I hope this all works out in your heart and in your head.

Answer 4

As hard as it was for you and your Mom you should realise that you are better off to have no father at all than fighting parents at home. If your parents did not love each other then it was better that they not be together. A 'two parent' household does not guarantee happiness, mental and emotional support. Try to find it in your heart to forgive him so you can heal your hurt and move on. Hating him only hurts you. Good luck to you!

Answer 5

i'm a single mother of 2 children and neither of them know who their father's are. both fathers have walked away. my son is 7 and my daughter is 5. my son asked me one time where his dad was and i explained that his fahter didnt want to stay and help me take care of him. after that he hasnt asked anything more. my parents, my siblings, my entire family has been awesome in being active with the kids. but i know that one day they will ask for all the details. trsut me its not just you kids that hurt. its us mothers too becuase we see the hurt you go through and that hurts us too. as a mother i will never say anything negative to the child about their father. i want them to make up their own mind about what they think of him. right now i am currently engaged to an awesome guy who loves both the kids. my daughter is more openly accepting of people and she has already called him dad on some occasions. my son ... well that will take time.

Answer 6

There's a reason for every action though. Don't blame one side only. You are not alone though? Don't focused on the past... just concentrate how to be a good example. Life is not always good. People make mistakes. Is not too late to start not worrying somebody. Start yourself, loving yourself first is the most rewarding tast to ourself. Remember if you happy ,...sad will go away.

Answer 7

He left my mother within the first few weeks when she was pregnante, saying how hard it was for him to go through with this. My mother was just 15 how hard do you think it was for her to go through.

But after all that i think we were better off, although i still hate me dad and i would never trust him, my grandparents helped my mother out alot and looked after me so that my mum could go to school and so she could get a job to take care of me. It brought my mum and i together and she is my best friend and always will be.

Answer 8

My brother in-law separated with his wife, then got her pregnant, then divorced her during the pregnancy. He saw his daughter around 3 times in her first year. A little more often in the second year, she's three now, and he sees her just when he wants to, which is not that often.

Answer 9

Me
Geeze, i was, too young to remember!
I'm just proud of my mom keeping a home over my head and food in my stomach!
My Dad, sorry to say but i dont give a damn!
He died in the 90s.
Never knew him. He wasnt a father!

Answer 10

I agree, it hurts. He left because he didn't care enough to stay. I'm sorry that happened to you. But please stop deluding yourself that you don't care. If you didn't, you wouldn't have his number. Don't expect him to care if you contact him or not, but if you do, do it for yourself and with self respect. You cannot possibly hurt him as much as he's hurt you. You could forgive him though, and give yourself great peace.