Should I pay for the invitations?

Question

My future mother-in-law wants to invite a bunch of her friends, whom I do not know, to my fiance and I's wedding. Should I pay for the invitations? She wants to invite about fifty or sixty people, whom are just her friends. My fiance and I don't have alot of money. So should I pay for those fifty or sixty invitations she wants?

Answer 1

Is she going to pay for their meals, the extra table rentals, a bigger hall and all that other good stuff too? This is only beginning of extra uneccesary guests killing your budget. I would just politely explain to her that you have a set budget and cannot include her friends that you don't know without excluding family and friends who you are actually close to.

If you want take the cheap way out and blame it on the reception hall...."Oh I'm sorry, we already booked random hall and it only holds 100 and we've set the guest list and ordered invites"

That being said if she is helping pay for the wedding she gets a say over the guest list. The way we did it was we knew we wanted no more than 150 people so his family got 70 (his family is bigger), my family got 60, and we got 20 for our friends. They can invite whoever they want (of course we have final veto power if its someone we really can't stand) and they are the ones that have to deal with the "why wasn't fourth cousin sue invited" questions.

Answer 2

Playing devil's advocate for a minute: If there are 50-60 people, you probably won't be paying for that many invites as I assume many will be couples/families.

That said! How many people are you inviting yourself? That increase your invite list by 30+% !!! That's insane. There's no way she can expect you to invite that many more people, especially ones you don't know. For one thing, not only will you have to pay for their invitations, you will also have to pay for their meals and perhaps a larger hall to hold them all!!

I would put my foot down. Let her choose a few who she specifically wants there and invite those ones. My mom wanted my brother to invite 6 extra people (one family of four and another couple) and he said they had enough room/money to invite either the family or the couple - she chose the family. So there will be 4 extras that my mom chose (but even then, we grew up with them so know them quite well).

Sixty is absurd. Put your foot down and tell her you aren't inviting them. Better yet, have your fiance do it - it's his mom.

Answer 3

Oh no. I'm sorry to hear this.

If you and your fiance are paying for the wedding put your foot down and have your man talk to her. Tell her you have a set amount of people to ask and inviting people YOU do not know is not going to happen at the moment.

I don't get this, why invite people to a wedding of people they don't know? That is so odd.

I would not pay for those invitations, and would not invite them at all, even if someone else were paying for the wedding.

Answer 4

As far as the actual invitations, 50 more really wont cost that much more. Is your family or his mom helping in the cost of the wedding/reception at all? 50 extra people can really add up in costs for drinks, food, space for your reception, etc. If it important to your future mother in law, perhaps she would be able to pay for the extra guests, if having people she knows is important to her to be there, especially since you and your fiancee are on a tight budget. If she is unwilling to assist in the extra cost, then I would say the venue is limited to the number of guests, and you are unable to accomdate that many extra people.

Answer 5

My mother in law tried to pull this with us. We, too, were broke, and my husband told his mom he did not want those people there. In fact, he told me that there were people on her list she hadn't spoken to in over 5 years. Yikes.

We came to the resolution that if she wanted to invite more people, she could come up with the $$ to cover the costs. (We paid for our wedding ourselves).

Well, she didn't like it very much, but she did pay for extra invites, food, and the tent. We needed that (outdoor wedding) to cover the extra 80 people she invited in case of rain.

It also set an important, and I mean IMPORTANT precedent for our relationship. Namely, she doesn't call the shots anymore.

You can diplomatically tell your future mom in law that you and your groom haven't budgeted for that many people (you will pay for food and drinks, not just the invites). Have your future husband do it. He needs to lay down the law now, or you'll be in for it later.

Good luck.

Answer 6

This is your wedding, you need to be the person (along with your hubby to be) to make the final decisions on everything. Including the invitations.

Answer 7

You could always buy invitations at walmart and print them at home. Saves tons of money, and you could still invite everyone you want.

But I wouldnt be worried about invitations. I'd be worried about the dinner cost!
50-60 extra people at MY dinner would be an extra $600. and If I couldnt afford that, then no they wouldnt be invited. Maybe talk to your future MIL and see if she can limit her list? I dunno. Good luck.

Answer 8

Of course you should. You and your bf cover all the costs of the wedding. It's totally fine and usual to have parents invite friends.

Answer 9

i feel if you are paying for the invitations you pay for the ones that you and your fiance want to pay for if there is any one else that they want to invite then tell them they need to pay for them on their own and be honest one we don't know those people and 2 we can't afford to pay for all of those invites if they don't like it then tuff don't invite them it is your wedding congratulations and good luck

Answer 10

i would say make the decision with you and your husband. i personally would not invite them. more $ out of your pocket on food/invitations/etc. invite the ones you've met. if you HAVE to invite them. get them a cheaper invitation if possible. 1/2 won't even show up.