Fiance, won't move close to my child. I'm feeling really resentful.?

Question

I have been mostly seperated from my son for over a year, he lives 8 hrs away with his grandma. I make it a point to visit him, call him and be in contact with him as much as possible. The reasons that he is there and not here are numerous but they have nothing to do with drugs, abuse or anything bad. I didn't want him to be in the middle of a divorce that lasted forever. I want to move where he is even if that means it will be financially straining. Three are no reasons now that we shouldn't be building our mother son relationship into something normal, and I am not going to keep making excuses,or listening to them for that matter. The longer we are apart the less we know each other. My fiance doesn't want to move because his five year old son is here and would only be with us during the school year. I feel angry. We a child together and I have raised his son for three years, we need to be there for my son as well even if it's not a perfect situation for my fiance and his family.

Answer 1

I think you may be expecting a little to much of your fiance. You have established a home with him, your new baby, and his son for the past 3 years. Maybe you need to bring your son to your home for week-end visits, family outings, and such to gradually work on a relationship with him. You may need to prove to "Grandma" you're financial and emotional stable to raise your son in a healthy environment. These are things she wants to see in your life as well as her Grandsons.

Answer 2

You can't blame your fiance for not wanting to leave his home and life for the benefit of your child. Why did you let his grandma take him away? You could have prevented that by going to court. Why didn't you get custody? This is your problem and only you can decide if your relationship with your son or the one with your fiance is more important. The time to have solved this problem was before it started, when your son lived in the same town as you. Why don't you sue for custody? Why have you waited a year to get worked up over this?

Answer 3

your child needs you now more than ever. is there a reason now why he cant come home to you?? does he really still need to live with grandma?if the divorce if final then why is he still there?? your son needs you..you need him. he's always going to be your baby get him now before its too late and he doesn't want anything to do with you. he may feel abandoned if you wait too much longer. if hes with grandma then is that to mean Dad doesn't have him?? if so who has physical custody?? if its you then go get your son. hes your child don't worry about the situation being perfect for your fiancee or his family. your son is your family.

Answer 4

you're 35, my youngsters have been 15 14 and 12 whilst i replaced into 35, i think of it somewhat is approximately time you had a newborn and a marriage. in the direction of your 40's that's center elderly, there may be problems with downs syndrome and so on and after 35 they're going to straight away evaluate yours a intense possibility being pregnant. sell off this guy, he's in a diverse place in his head, you wasted 5 advantageous years, for him it replaced into no longer something, it replaced into financial help. and you're even at the back of on domicile money, it somewhat is no longer working for you. he will gladly bypass yet another 5 years, you do no longer prefer to be a 40 two yo pregnant unmarried lady. thoroughly EXHAUSTED by the time the newborn is 5.

Answer 5

Can your son move in with you? Or start off with short visits, leading up to something longer and more permanent.

Are you asking your fiance to leave his son behind? How could you not understand why he wouldn't want to do that, when that is exactly what you are trying to rectify in your own life right now?