Ok I've known my man for 10 years but been his fiancee for 1 year. He says he loves me and I truely love him we have a 1 year old together and I was wondering, what is it when a guy leaves the house all the time and leaves you at home to take care of the kids ALL THE TIME. I also work. He expects me to cook, clean, take care of the kids, do the laundry, take care of the bills, and drive us everywhere that we go. What is his part in the relationship. I want a way to tell him without making it seem like I'm nagging all the time because that's what he says I do, but I am so burnt out. Yes he does work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week, but like I said I also work. Oh by the way he always wants to make out. I've told him several times that I need some help, but he says that I don't help him when the car breaks down, which we have a brand new 1. Tell me how can I let him know that I need help without it turning into a argument all the time, and if he helps me I won't be so tired to make out
2007-06-12 15:48:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ask him to help out on the days that he's not working so you can take some time to relax. it's extremely unfair for him to expect you to do all of the work.
2007-06-12 15:53:03 · answer #1 · answered by Danni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a schedule of what you do with your time. Include the time you are away from home at work. The time you spend getting the kids home and to day care etc. Also list the time spent getting the kids ready for whatever and the amount of time you spend watching them. Add in the chores time, such as cooking, cleaning and laundry.
Give your husband the list and show him in black and white the amount of time you are working around the house and tell him you need a break.
2007-06-12 15:56:14 · answer #2 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Next time he wants to make out tell him "Sorry, I have way too much to do right now". LOL
Seriously, you need to seriously consider whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with this man. A serious conversation is in order for the two of you. Before you marry him, let him know what you expect out of your relationship. If he doesn't compromise, this is an indication that he never will, you'll be able to save yourself a lot of heartache later.
2007-06-12 15:58:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to come up with a compromise or a trade-off. For example, if you wash the dishes, I'll wash the car. If you run the sweeper, I'll do the bills. If you toss the salad, I'll tighten the faucet. That way, you'll both be more in the MOOD to make out because you've made each other happy!
2007-06-12 15:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That wrestle you had over some thing stupid replaced into probably the straw that broke the camel's again. It feels like she might want to were harboring some form of doubt or hesitations yet by no ability fairly communicated them or addressed them in any respect and that wrestle replaced into fairly basically the snapping factor for her--an excuse in case you'll to detect a way out. that's glaring that you want her and are struggling with for this, inspite of the indisputable fact that the question is is she struggling with basically as not ordinary or are her thoughts are confident as yours? From what you've written the following, it doesn't sound like it. In all honesty, supply her area yet stay appropriate in her existence and wrestle for her. inspite of the indisputable fact that, if this maintains and he or she retains going again and forth like this you'll ultimately might want to make your mind up and both stay or pass. verify such as her and open up communications, which look lacking the following.
2016-11-23 16:04:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the easiest way to turn things around is to give him a piece of his own pie. im sure you've heard the overall concept before.
1)children - as far as the child you have together, if he wants to leave you babysitting all the time, wait til your turn is up, then take off. then his first question will always be "where are you going". say i babysitted now i need to take care of my errands (doesnt matter what time it is, you still have to do you).
2)food - start buying cheap 99c mc donalds cheese burgers and say, i was so tired watching the kids when i got home from a long days work and still have to clean so it helps take the load off me.
3)laundry - yea wash his clothes but dont give special attention to his things that need to be ironed or air dryed since he wants you to do it by yourself, afterall how are you supposed to remember his clothes, the kids and yours.
4)etc......
in other words your not complaining or NAGGING as men like to say we do, your just explaining why things aren't up to his standards or not the way they used to be...... because you have to do it all yourself so he's gonna have to live with it til you find time to make everything flow smoothly. OR
UNTIL YOU "GET TIRED OF HIS ****" as us women like to say and GET A NEW MAN........
2007-06-12 16:04:34 · answer #6 · answered by Chocolate_Tai_69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you would appreciate if he could help too. Tell him your only human and you need help. your not superwoman and you want to share this together. But its kinda harder for us ladies because we are expected to take care of the house and work too. So we got it double work. So decide if its really worth nagging about or let it go and cut your losses. And if your too tired to make out then tell him that you need help so your not tired.
2007-06-12 15:55:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like he is avoiding responsibility. To start, make your relationship work first. Ask him if he has plans to marry you and improve your lives. It just shows how serious and responsible he is to you.
Those household chores he avoids doing or even helping are all just indicators of his attitude towards you and your relationship. He may now just be taking you for granted No matter how tired he may be, he will find ways, even small ones, to help you.
2007-06-12 16:04:58 · answer #8 · answered by tsambalero 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a typical traditional way where a man marrying a woman. as we have entered into a new era of world, this shouldnt be happening. both of u should equally share the burden of the family. love should exists between both of u. no arguments, i think u should talk to him when both of u were free. this thing can be easily sorted out. not the case that when he cheated u.
2007-06-12 16:14:43 · answer #9 · answered by Mike P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You HAVE told him, prob many times. Find a licensed counselor. Go together, or separately. We did around our 10th anniv. He helped us see what we were doing and helped us to work together to solve our probs. We did and are now coming up on our 41 anniv this summer
2007-06-12 15:59:47 · answer #10 · answered by old beatnik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋