I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost a year now. I love her very much. I have seen her every single day since we started dating except for the days that I have to travel for work. I have always been sort of an independent and I really enjoy the time I spend with her, but I enjoy my alone time very much as well. Does this make me a bad person?
How can I tell her I would like an entire day to myself a couple times a month at least? Is that too much to ask? As the past year has come and went, I started to realize more and more that I really enjoy being alone when I get a chance, plus, seeing her after a long absence feels really good. What should I do?
2007-06-12 12:52:06 · 12 answers · asked by still_feel_gone83 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Actually, she lives a few minutes away, I don't travel all that much for work...maybe one week every 2 months..
2007-06-12 12:59:48 · update #1
Just tell her straight up, it might take a while to actually get her to understand it, but make sure she knows how much that little time alone means to you. She should get use to it after a while.
2007-06-12 12:56:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel bad about wanting some time to yourself. I think we all do, and maybe even your girlfriend would appreciate some time too. Maybe she has just fallen into the habit of seeing you every day?.
YOu sound as though you really love her and that maybe she might be the one? If you think that she is, then maybe you can explain it away like that, that you guys have the rest of your lives to be together.....and that you would enjoy some solitude now. If she is secure and has no trust issues, then she should be more than happy for you to get some "me" time. We all need time to ourselves to catch up with friends, spend a day at the footy, or just to go for a walk on the beach or read a book! It is healthy and in the long run better for your relationship.
I think if you explain to her, exactly what you have said in your question, she cant help but be understanding.
Good luck with this, I am sure she will understand. Just be sure that you are honest with her and prepared to at least touch base with a phone call. She will want to know all about your day.
2007-06-12 13:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wanting to be alone doesn't make you a bad person; it makes you healthy person who realizes that he needs something he's not getting. The next step is to communicate that to your gf. If you can't be open and honest about how you feel and what you need, then you just asking for trouble down the road. Of course, this is a delicate issue for many women (present company excluded, I like some space myself) and you should assure your gf that this is not a reflection on her or the relationship. You're not asking for a lot of time, and who knows maybe there are friends or family she hasn't seen as much of or things she would like to do -- have a day with the girls, for instance. Bottom line, communicate your needs and be honest if you want the relationship to be healthy over the long term.
2007-06-12 13:03:20 · answer #3 · answered by sports_chic_67 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First if you think back, there is a reason that your ex is in the past even before all the bad timing. Your husband sounds like a great guy and surely deserves 100% of you. Its not fair to him for you to keep seeing your ex and trying to decide if your still in love with the ex. There's a difference in loving someone and being in love with someone. All of us would be telling a lie if we said one of our exes hasn't crossed our minds once or twice but just because it's been a thought, most know not to act upon it. You can't continue to see your ex and have all these would've, could've and should'ves. If your husband doesnt know you have been talking to and seeing your ex then don't you think your already doing something wrong in your marriage? The feelings may not go away but they definetly want even get under control if you continue to see him. Which one of these guys can you live without, never touching, never holding, never talking to again? You said it's killing the both of you, Well imagine if your husband knew, How would he feel? You've got to pick one and leave the other one alone.
2016-05-18 21:46:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, this is not bad at all. Even though you are dating, you must not lose sight of who you were before you started dating. If being alone is important to you, you have to be honest with her. Otherwise, if you try taking that alone time, she'll think you're having an affair or simply don't love her. Honesty is always the best policy.
I wish you the best of luck!
2007-06-12 12:56:52 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't make you bad, it makes you a normal human being.
She needs to respect that you're happier not being around her 24/7. Hopefully she has the maturity to understand and accept that... super-clingy people suck. Still, if you've been with each other for a year, it sounds like you're pretty compatible. This issue should be something the two of you can handle.
Good luck.
2007-06-12 12:58:52 · answer #6 · answered by Bramblyspam 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm.... well it doesnt make u a bad person. everyone needs "me" time, and some more than others. maybe suggest to her that she take some "me" time herself a couple times a month, at like a spa or someplace where she can relax. and if that doesnt work, just tell her u need ur own time. its as special as spending time with her, im sure, probably just as important to ur mental health! r those the days u run errands or do extra work? tho maybe atleast call her once, like at night maybe, on ur days alone, so she doesnt feel like its her that ur trying to get away from.
2007-06-12 13:11:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with that...I am the same way. Just be honest and tell her that you need some time alone once in awhile. If you are honest with her, she will understand.
2007-06-12 12:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by Miss J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not bad it's actually a good thing if you want your privacy it means your relationship isn't solely based on romance and it means you love her as a friend to and those are the kind of relationships that last just tell her that your doing it for the stake of you relationship and she'll understand that no one wants to be in a choking tight relationship GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-06-12 13:04:41 · answer #9 · answered by roseblack860 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, i dont know how you can be around her every day unless you travel for work a lot. everybody needs some personal space
2007-06-12 12:55:04 · answer #10 · answered by em9sredbeam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋