Moving out of paretns house...need help?

Question

I posted once before but would like more advice. I am 17 and am wanting to move out of my parents house, and live with my bf and his family. Me and my parents have been havea really hard time lately...all we do is fight, I do to bed almost everynight in tears... My bf's family treats me so well and I am totally in love with him. Is there anything my parents can do, and how can I tell them!?

I live in Ontario, the law here is that at 16 i am allowed to move out and really there is nothing my parents can do. I thank you all for you comments but I must say those who are saying that there is no one over the age of 25 who is with the same ppl as they were when they were 17? Give me a break. My PARENTS have been together since they were 16, my cousins they were highschool sweethearts, now i am not saying that me and my bf wil be lucky but if things did get messy I know of another place to go. And for all the moms on here that are telling me to stay at home, you dont realize the things me and my mom fight about are not things like what time i must be in at night, or who i can hang out with its stupid stuff lik when she gets to lazy to you know take care of her responsibilities like my little brother who she always passes on to me or HER dogs its all because she tried to control everything and everyon and thinks she can pass her responsibilities on to others

Answer 1

Stop being a stubborn brat and live with your parents.

Answer 2

Well, you aren't going to like this answer, but here goes anyway. You probably need to mature a bit. You should not move in with your boyfriend. I know you think you love him, but look around, do you know anybody over the age of 25 that is still with the same person they were with when they were 17. I won't be condescending and say it is just puppy love, because I know that isn't how you feel right now. But the truth is, you will grow up and find that an adult love is different from what you are feeling right now. Furthermore, who do you really think has your best interest in mind? Your parents or his parents? Also, if your feeling like you really love and want to someday marry him, then odds are not in your favor if you live together first. They have been researching this since the 60's and 70's when they started encouraging people to live together before marriage. Researchers have found that couples who lived together before marriage are twice as likely to get divorced than couples who did not live together first. Try to look at this from all the angles. Unless your parents are abusive, and I don't mean that they just won't let you have your way, you really should stay at home until you mature a little more. And, by the way, I'm not suggesting that all 17 year olds are not mature enough. I happen to think MOST are not, but there are probably a few that are ready. The fact that you are considering moving away from your parents but in with another set of parents, rather than getting a job and your own place, suggests that you are not ready to move out yet.

Answer 3

Ask your school social worker for an immediate appointment to discuss how you are treated. Find out for certain if they have the right to bring you back. I think 16 is the national age where they cannot, despite many postings here.

Go on record that you love them but cannot live with them because or poor treatment which is oppressive.

Possibly ask
you parents to get into family counseling with you as a last resort. It must be immediate, and your parents and you must have psychological testing done with results given to you,. so YOU know what you are dealing with . It is possible they are beyond repair and can never be reasonable with you. They might be bipolar, or have malignant narcissistic behavior disorder, control freaks, bordeline personality disorder, for example.

If they reject the offer, say NOTHING....Just take your stuff out that is yours, like clothes, musical instruments, art supplies that are yours, bikes, jewelry, luggage, gifts given to you, etc. Make sure your dad is gone at work, and possibly only mom is home, It's best if she's out shopping. Just leave, and have your BF and friends help fast...Your folks will never understand anyway, by that time, and could easily blame you.

Try to get some counseling if necessary. Do not speak to them for at least a week. Perhaps, leave them a note that you are going out on your own and will contact them when you feel like you want to...no blaming....

Do NOT let them engage you in any discussions about returning should they find you, Hang up, if necessary. BTW: dial from a phone whose number is blocked so that your folks cannot see the number to have it traced.

If they somehow do show up where you live, tell them to leave. If they refuse, call the police and charge with harassment. Do not play games with abusers.

Now that I've said this, are you to blame for things, or are you truly a victim of abuse? Read all about child abuse on line. If they really have abused you, they might face criminal charges should you so desire.

Once you are 17, they cannot legally take you back on their demand. However, you could be eligible for financial aid and money from them in terms of college, and if they refuse to pay, you might have a case in court.

Sad. I've been in a similar boat. I never looked back once I decided that enough verbal and physical abuse is enough. They refused family therapy, they refused changing, and I've been far better off without them. Blood IS NOT thicker than water if that blood is bad blood. I heard dad died and never attended the funeral and haven't missed his throwing food at me or insulting me. Mom has defended his actions to his grave. I don;t miss her either. Have good friends I now call family.

Answer 4

I understand what you mean, I think everybody goes through it. But I would say unless your parents are abusive just try to remember that they just want the best for you. Sometimes you might not understand why they're acting the way they are but remember that they were your age too once and they're just trying to protect you from the things that they might have experienced. It's great that you love your boyfriend and his family so much but try to remember that aren't your family and might not always be there for you. Talk it out with your parents, let them know that you're frustrated and maybe when you're upset about an issue or have a touchy subject to discuss, write them a letter about it and have them do the same. That way things can be solved in a level-headed way without the emotions escalating.

Answer 5

First, you are 17. Every 17 year old girl has a rush of emotions, trouble with parents at one time or another. My suggestion, deal with your parents and try to communicate with them. Are they abusing you? Is it just feeling like you against them? It is hard being a teen. I moved out when I was 18 and regret it so much and I am 43! I wished I had listened and realized that my mom wanted what was best for me and she actually knew what she was talking about. I would have finished college, gotten a better job and had a much better start in life. I moved out with my bf and it was a HUGE mistake. Once I moved my mom said I don't get to run home just because it wasn't working out. She made that choice for me to learn that we have to answer for our choices in life. Your bf parents treat you nice which is great, but it would and might be different under their roof and their rules!!!
You are not in love, promise. You may be but it will not and should not be your life love...you have a lot of growing and changing to do in life, don't do anything major in your life because of a guy! If you all broke up you would be stuck. You may think your parents are full of crap, hate them, they don't understand you..all teens do for the most part, but believe me one day in about 10 years you will look back and be glad they cared, that they had set limits! Promise!

Answer 6

The grass always seems greener elsewhere....and it seldomly is. First, you are still a child. Second, what is wrong with the BFs parents? It is so wrong of them to overstep their boundaries in allowing you to stay there. Your parents are being pretty cool considering they can press charges against his parents (and the BF too if he is 18) for harboring you there. You are your parents' responsibility until the age of 18. Third, not to minimize your feelings for him, but honey, you really have no idea what love is. Youre asking for advice, so here it is: You need to be accountable for your actions and grow up! Part of growing up means being responsible and realizing that your parents are the ONLY ones who will EVER really care about your well being, regardless of what you think or are being told. They are also the ONLY ones who will always be there for you no matter what and until their dying day. Thats all a part of being a parent. You will see that (and hopefully many years from now) when you have your own children, I always tell my kids that their kids will treat them the way they treat us. And damn if that doesnt prove to be true in every sense of the word. You need to make amends with your folks,beg their forgiveness for the assinine, immature way you have been behaving, and cherish their every word....sounds like you are just a spoiled brat who screams and cries when you dont get your own way and use your parents as your excuse to act stupid. Life isnt easy, and you'll soon find that out. Think about who youre gonna run to when this relationship ends....do you really have the audacity to run to them for help then? Grow up

Answer 7

well hun guess what am in the same boat .. just not with a boyfriend .
I f your 17 years old bye the law they can press charges on your boy friends parents and drag you back home with them .
BUT .. I have some great news you can emancipate your parents .. but its hard you have to go to court and show that you can live on your own and that you have a place to stay .....

I know its hard ... cause I deal with my crazy *** mother ever other day ... but am waiting till am 18 to move out so she can't do any thing about it ..
I would do the same ...
or maybe live with an aunt, grandma or some one elsa ... i kinda wish i had family members i can depend on ... may be you do ... just take time to think about it .. like serious ..
GOOD LUCK .. <3

Answer 8

Just be up front with u'r parents, explain to them u feel u'r relationship w/ them will benifit from this decision.
Since u are still considered a minor they can say no and if u decide to do it anyway they can report u as a runaway and this could cause more problems. But i think if u sit down and have a heart 2 heart maybe u'll get lucky and they will be understanding.

i moved out @ 17 but i was already graduated from HS i had a good relationship w/ my parents and always new i had a place to come home to if needed.

Good Luck!

Answer 9

in my opinion i say that u should just move out of ur house but wait until ur the legal age of where ever u live. i think u should go through with it because i am also 17 and haveing a hard time with my parents and i also am moving out with my boyfriend and his parents next year because i just do not get treated properly by them ...so just make sure that u r doing this for the right reason and that u will not regret it at anytime.

Answer 10

If I were you I would not move in with my bf and his parents. Trust me, it will get ugly fast! If I were you I would move out the day I turn 18 ... find a girlfriend who will split an apartment with you, and then you can handle the rent responsbilities and begin your adult life on the right foot.

I moved out on my own when I was 18 ... it was a little scary, but definitely worth having the freedom to make your own choices (as long as those choices don't have bad consequences). Good luck in your decision. And, steer clear of moving in with the bf and family.

Answer 11

My poor child, the is why some kids turn up to be all screwed up!
You seem like a very smart girl and I applaud you for trying to leave such an awful environment. Now if your boyfriend's parents want to have you in their house by all means move in with him. His parents sound like wonderful people and you must return the same respect and love to them as well. I can tell you are a smart girl and I hope you never turn to drugs and or end up pregnant. My only advice would be is move in with your boyfriend until you're old enough to be on your own.
Also, you should have separate rooms.