My husband & I will be attending a wedding out of town & are paying for our hotel rm. For some very close friend's
daughter's wedding on:7/707.
I rec'd. a call from the mother of the bride wanting to know; if we would contribute to help the bride(her daughter) & groom pay for half of their "Wedding Favors"? I said yes.
I assumed the amt. for us would be nominal ! "These wedding favors/candy" (I believe with their Nm's., wedding dt.,to give to their wedding guest). Obviously cost $350.00 total. Because, I received an e-mail from the bride thanking us (in advance) for the $150.00 & an address where to send the check). -
My ?: Is it proper for any bride to request financial assistance from (non-immediate family member's)? The bride is an
"Event Planner" for a major restaurant chain. Lastly, how much should I spend on a wedding gift? Esp., since, they did not state..for the wedding favors in lieu of a wedding gift ! my email is: BRENDITA@HUGHES.NET Thank you for your reply!
2007-06-12 12:15:48 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Wow. That is something I have never heard of! Well, if you are willing to help them out with such a healthy donation ($150) for something, you absolutely do not have to buy them a wedding gift. Anyone that contributed in my wedding, I was not expecting a gift from. Though my father paid a LOT for the reception, he still gave us a gift, but he's my father and that's different, you know? lol
As a non-immediate family member, no this is not normal for them to ask you for help. However, if you are willing to help pay for it, please don't feel the need to give them a gift as well. The friend might just assume that since you are so close, you would want to help, but make sure when you send the check to help out that you put in the card something about how you are happy to give them help with the wedding as a gift for their happy future or something of that nature. So they don't expect a gift and then act silly about it later.
P.S. If they DID do that (act silly about not getting a gift), they are just being greedy anyway! I didn't care anything about the gifts at my wedding! I was enjoying the celebration! :) LOL
Good luck with this issue. It's definitely unique. :)
2007-06-12 12:27:54 · answer #1 · answered by CC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight. So the mother of the bride is your very close friend and she asked for help pay for 1/2 of the "Wedding Favors" without telling you the amount first. The bride thank you, meaning the bride and groom are paying for at least some of the wedding themselves and ran out of money and/or credit.
This is quite unusual.
I would call what you did a gift to the bride and groom, and they did thank you. A gift for the wedding is not mandatory but given freely. It does not matter what they stated, when you give money and expect nothing in return, it is a gift, a gift that was for their wedding in fact. You already gave a $150 gift to the couple for their wedding. If you feel more is needed as a gift then go ahead, but I would include $150 as part of your gift.
When I got married I think my parents friends gave $100 to $300 per couple, most $150 to $200.
2007-06-12 14:18:26 · answer #2 · answered by no_frills 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The $150 you gave them for the favors is plenty. The bride and groom are the ones responsible for paying for the favors not the guests. Since you not immediate family they should not have came to you with this. Did anyone else contribute to this fund? As an event planner I would think she would know the proper etiquette of such things. I'd skip the present, if you want get a card to congratulate them but you have done more than your part.
2007-06-12 12:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by Lil's Mommy 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think it's improper for the bride to request financial contributions from her friends and not her immediate family. This is her event and you are an invited guest! I think since you have to pay for a hotel room in order to attend the wedding, plus contribute to her wedding favor cost you should skip the wedding gift. Contribute to the favors and send her the check with a nice card or note basically stating that in lieu of another gift you are purchasing her favors. I don't think any other gift is necessary. And I don't think the bride should expect another gift. You've spent enough money.
2016-05-18 21:30:17 · answer #4 · answered by delaine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, this was inappropriate for the mother of the bride to ask you to contribute to something like this. It's not like these people are broke are they? Well, you can't go back on your word now and this is a close friend, so it's best that you pay and say nothing about it. And, you should give what you normally give for a gift. The reason why you shouldn't say anything is because you never know what blessings will come back your way. Maybe they have something in mind to thank you for your generosity, but don't expect anything. Your generosity will be returned to you.
2007-06-12 16:41:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'd say it's extremely bold of them to ask you to pay for the wedding favors like that. I would buy a nice card and tell them that you wish them well and you hope that they and their guests enjoyed the favors. I would not buy an additional gift.
I'm so surprised the way wedding etiquette has gone these days. I'd love to turn back the clock on some of these things. Not that I think the Bride's family should bear the brunt of the cost, but wow... this is a new one!
2007-06-12 12:58:06 · answer #6 · answered by Marianne D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You realize you are basically paying for your own gift for attending their wedding right?
I would defiently agree you do not owe them a gift no matter how close you are. 150$ is plenty for a gift, let alone the way it was asked of you.
It sounds like you need to send Ms. Manners to them and have her explain this is NOT the way you do things.
Why isn't the bride's family paying for the favors? If the bride and groom can't afford them, and the family isn't paying for them it's time for someone to reevaluate the price of the favors, or else the favors themselves.
2007-06-12 15:36:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW wow wow wow wow wow. I'm sorry, just can't...wow...help myself....wow wow wow...
I think in general, it was in very poor taste to call and ask for money from you, especially, as you said, you are not immediate family. I'm going to upgrade that to tacky.
I hope that the bride and groom include a wedding "sponsors" page in their program!
Since they have made such a tacky request and have asked for so much money I would consider this their gift. Send the check in their wedding card with a little note congratulating them on their marriage and letting them know to please consider this contribution to the wedding as your gift.
And then make sure to pick up any left over favors at the end of the day.
2007-06-12 12:31:56 · answer #8 · answered by blahdeblah 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WOw, the bride must feel very close to you to come out and volunteer the amount of money you are contributing to her favours! And the mother of the bride must consider you family to ask you for an undisclosed amount of money to begin with. You are very good people for dealing with this situation with grace and dignity. I do agree with the majority of answerers, consider this your wedding gift. I would buy a lovely wedding card, and put the check inside of it, and mail it to the address the bride provided you. I would certainly hope that the bride and groom send you a prompt and graceous thank you card in return for your generous contribution (last minute one at that) to allow them to purchase the favours of their dreams for their very special day.
2007-06-12 13:59:09 · answer #9 · answered by Lynny K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have already helped pay for the favors in the wedding then i see no need to get them anything. Maybe a nice congradulations card but other than that I wouldnt give them anything. If you still want to get them something though, make them up a little basket of stuff from a dollar tree (or some place you can get everything for a dollar) and spend no more than ten dollars.
2007-06-12 12:33:20 · answer #10 · answered by Little Flower 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋