My husband & I will be attending a wedding out of town & are paying for our hotel rm. For some very close friend's
daughter's wedding on:7/707.
I rec'd. a call from the mother of the bride wanting to know; if we would contribute to help the bride(her daughter) & groom pay for half of their "Wedding Favors"? I said yes.
I assumed the amt. for us would be nominal ! "These wedding favors/candy" (I believe with their Nm's., wedding dt.,to give to their wedding guest). Obviously cost $350.00 total. Because, I received an e-mail from the bride thanking us (in advance) for the $150.00 & an address where to send the check). -
My ?: Is it proper for any bride to request financial assistance from (non-immediate family member's)? The bride is an
"Event Planner" for a major restaurant chain. Lastly, how much should I spend on a wedding gift? Esp., since, they did not state..for the wedding favors in lieu of a wedding gift ! my email is: BRENDITA@HUGHES.NET Thank you for your reply!
2007-06-12 12:14:54 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Not sure if you want to leave your email address in the question so if this question disappears soon I won't be too surprised. It's not typical to ask anyone to pay for the wedding expenses. While 350 isn't too bad for favors, asking someone you invited to the wedding to cover that cost is tacky in my opinion. However, I hope that in the future before you agree to pay for things you get a firm number from them because they could have just as easily called asking for 600 or more for the favors. I wouldn't give a terribly large gift at this point.
2007-06-12 12:20:28 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's improper for the bride to request financial contributions from her friends and not her immediate family. This is her event and you are an invited guest! I think since you have to pay for a hotel room in order to attend the wedding, plus contribute to her wedding favor cost you should skip the wedding gift. Contribute to the favors and send her the check with a nice card or note basically stating that in lieu of another gift you are purchasing her favors. I don't think any other gift is necessary. And I don't think the bride should expect another gift. You've spent enough money.
2007-06-12 12:25:28 · answer #2 · answered by holmeskaykay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight. So the mother of the bride is your very close friend and she asked for help pay for 1/2 of the "Wedding Favors" without telling you the amount first. The bride thank you, meaning the bride and groom are paying for at least some of the wedding themselves and ran out of money and/or credit. This is quite unusual. I would call what you did a gift to the bride and groom, and they did thank you. A gift for the wedding is not mandatory but given freely. It does not matter what they stated, when you give money and expect nothing in return, it is a gift, a gift that was for their wedding in fact. You already gave a $150 gift to the couple for their wedding. If you feel more is needed as a gift then go ahead, but I would include $150 as part of your gift. When I got married I think my parents friends gave $100 to $300 per couple, most $150 to $200.
2016-05-18 21:30:11 · answer #3 · answered by delaine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it is NOT proper wedding etiquette to ask for money to pay for "favors" that is traditionally the Brides parents expense.
In lieu of a gift, simply give a wedding card with the check for the "favors" and leave it at that. I would consider the whole thing very rude and presumptuous.
2007-06-12 12:20:49 · answer #4 · answered by Angelbaby7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rather unusual for this type of request if you are a non immediate family member as you stated. However, since you agreed to do this, you are not required to bring a gift. If you are uncomfortable with this then something simple will be fine. A gift certificate to Bed, Bath and Beyond for under/at $50 will suffice.
I have to admit this rather surprised me as it is in very poor taste on the bride and groom's part to ask anyone to help them pay for wedding favors. This is something that they are to do for their guests and if they cannot afford it, it is really not a requirement. Very strange!
2007-06-12 12:20:14 · answer #5 · answered by phxmilitarymom 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that it would ever be appropriate for the bride, groom, parents to ask others to help with the cost of a wedding. It's their decision on the size of the wedding so they should plan one they can afford. Besides if the bride is an event planner, she should be able to get some deals.
2007-06-12 12:18:18 · answer #6 · answered by Leather and Lace 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, I certainly would not be happy with that at all.
My wedding favors cost me a whole $30 lol. (I'm cheap and know how to spend money wisely and where......)
I That is very rude and tacky for her to send a thank you note before you even helped her out!!! WHAT THE F...... is that all about? Thats so rude!!!! Thats just like asking for more than she should get. If someone sent me a note that said thanks for the $150 gift you WILL be donating to us. thats tacky, thats horrible.
I wouldnt buy them a gift. I'd buy them a card that says congratulations. Your generous (holyshyt) donation of $150 on wedding favors was more than you should have EVER had to do for her. She's not YOUR daughter.. geesh.
Sorry I just hate it when people go outside of family and friends for help... especially financial assistance. they're not family, they shouldnt have askedf or that much.
2007-06-12 16:25:23 · answer #7 · answered by mannasox 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They should not have to state that this is in lieu of a wedding gift...in particular because gifts are ALWAYS optional.
It's pretty ballsy of them to ask you, but sometimes this is what family and friends do for each other. I have received financial help in planning my daughter's wedding, so I know what a boon it can be.
Please don't buy another gift for the bride & groom...get them a card, and send your best wishes, and consider yourself done with it.
2007-06-12 12:23:25 · answer #8 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never heard anything more rude and cheap in my life!
If you ask around with other guests you will probably find you are not the only ones. I bet they have asked others to contribute for other things too!
I would not buy a gift. I would send a card, saying that you hope that they enjoyed your contribution to their wedding.
Asking for a gift as well is just rude...and pushing the friendship a bit far!!
2007-06-12 13:04:24 · answer #9 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that you thought that the cost was going to be about $50 when she asked, so that cost of $150 is way to much for you to spend. So offer her the $50 and buy her a gift like a toaster, crock pot or some other useful gift for around $40.
2007-06-12 12:24:33 · answer #10 · answered by Aliz 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋