What should I call myself? I know Christians hate this but so what?

Question

I am at a point in my life that I need solid answers and reasoning for the things that go on in my life. After just graduating from college I sat back and reviewed all those people who have fornicated, committe adultery, became fake pastors and so forth and I have watched them advance like no one I have ever seen before. I have watch girls sleep with anything and vice versa, and still get good jobs, be loved and have the whole universe in their possession. But then there are people like me. Follow the "Good Book" rule of helping out thy neighbor and keeping on a straight and narrow path...and I have not prospered yet. Now I may only be 22 but I know that faith can only lead you so far. So I put a little action into it. And guess what. I am still no where. I got good grades, virgin girl looking to prosper. I don't see how an all love God can be all loving, when the very thing he instructed you to do gets you know where. Beside Christianity, what are some other alternate religions?

Answer 1

I wish I can help you on your journey but I can't. I hope that you find some faith, christian or other that makes you happy.

Answer 2

I have no particular stake in any religion, so here's my non-religious advice.

Your religion is not the problem! You're absolutely right that faith can only lead you so far - no religion is going to suddenly let you prosper. It's good that you're keeping on a straight and narrow path, but realize that you can still do that and be successful.

You don't need a different religion, you need a self-esteem coach, you need to see a career counselor perhaps (if you're in university, there's probably one there you can see for free), and perhaps you need to find a new activity/hobby or group of friends. Or why not start something yourself? If you have any great ideas, talk to people at your church.

Answer 3

If you are looking to Christianity to bring you wealth and fame in this world you are laboring under some false information. And the truth of the matter is you are only 22 with, God willing, many, many more to live.

It sounds like you are judging your life in relation to the media mentality. Life is not what you see in the movies, TV and magazines.

You mention you graduated from college. What was your major? What line of work are you pursuing? What have you done to make yourself appealing to an employer? Do you have a good work ethic? What about furthering your education, Masters, PhD?

Those are the things you need to concentrate on for this life but it is only one part of the path. The other is your Spirituality. There too you need to study and grow.

If you sit there and wait for the world to beat a path to your door, don't because it isn't going to happen. Likewise, you must seek Christ.

Answer 4

Only you can decide how and what you will worship. No one can or should decide for you. So I'm going to answer your question in good faith (no pun intended), from MY perspective. Just take it with a grain of salt.

It sounds to me like your sense of what is good and bad is a little out of alignment. Being a good neighbor, an honest person, and loyal friend are indeed good things to be. They are things that everyone, regardless of religion, tries to do. But I noticed something about your question: you mentioned sexual behavior several times ("fornicated," "committed adultery," "girls sleep with anything," and "virginity" are all mentioned in a single paragraph). You seem to have it in your mind that sex = bad, and that is really an unfortunate opinion. In MY opinion, sex is really quite fun and enjoyable, but also requires a good deal of responsibility. Promiscuity has nothing to do with what makes a person successful, much less "good" or "bad." There is an entire school of thought out there that says that a person can have a healthy sex life (yes, even single people) and still be a good person. You're an adult, so that decision is up to you.

To give your question a DIRECT answer, I'm what they call a "secular humanist," which basically means that I'm an atheist with a strong respect and genuine love of people. I like meeting, talking with, and interacting with people. I treat them with respect when I want respect. I also don't believe that the supernatural or spiritual should guide our moral judgment. I prefer to use reason and justice. I do what I please and I try REALLY REALLY hard not to hurt anyone.

And I DESPISE it when somone tries to convert me, so I don't try to convert anyone else. I'm not trying to "recommend" my beliefs to you. You definitely should make up your own mind. If that means sticking with Christianity, then you should do that. The most important thing is to decide for yourself.

Answer 5

If religion is your only quest, then try other ones, like Buddhism or Hindu, or Pagan/Wicca paths, but it doesn't sound like you need a new religion, it sounds like you need a boost of morale. It is noble that you remained a virgin so long, and that you try to help people. Try just enjoying your life, for a while.
Do good things and have fun.
I am Pagan and live by the philosophy of "Harm None" This means that I will not lie to you because that hurts me, I will not steal from you because it hurts us both, and I will not physically hurt you (if I can avoid it) because that is to harm. I will also help you heal in any way I can because to do nothing is to cause harm.
Look inside, deep down, and see what feels right to you. That is, in itself, your religion.

Answer 6

Buddhism might be good for you. Also, Taoism or Zen. Though some people don't believe that all of these are religions, they are simpy using an alternative definition that they think means "philosophy." Also, perhaps you don't need to change so drastically. What is it that you really want? If it's money, no religion can help you (unless you start your own with yourself as god so people can donate to you). Is it power? No religion can give you power over others. Is it marriage? Try dating. Faith, religion, and desires do not necessarily walk hand-in-hand or have anything to do at all with each other. You're only 22. There's still time to get what you want. Just make sure that you really want it.

Answer 7

Im not sure you understand your religion very well. Beleif in your God is not meant to provide you with prosperity. It is meant to save your eternal soul. Furthermore, your God teaches that you will be miserable here on earth and your reward for that will be in Heaven. If youre a hardcore beleiver, then all those people you've been monitoring are destined for Hell, while you are not. Isnt that the greater reward? Eternal salvation in exchange for a miserable existence on earth for a few decades??


Personally, Im an atheist. Id never tell you to abandon your faith.

Truth is, you can beleive all you want, but if you want prosperity in your life, no one is looking out for you but YOU. YOU need to take control of your life, you need to get what it is that you want in your life. God wont buy you a car or find you a great job. But, your new degree will assist greatly in landing you a good job!

Best of luck.

Answer 8

Hi there,

Maybe you are comparing apples with oranges.

Look, I'm not a religious person. In fact, I'm an atheist (agnostic, pagan, whatever label you wish to apply for my godlessness), but in respect of your question, I have to say that prosperity is not necessarily linked to living a life full of vices.

I have seen pious, religious, do-gooder people materially prospering. I have also seen "wordly", "mundane", "sinner" people prospering too.

Similarly, I have seen both types of people living in misery (both materially and mentally).

In my opinion, there is no direct correlation between one's moral conduct/behaviour and material/status achievments. Look at Paris Hilton for that matter!

Now, it will also depend on what you call "prosperity" and "success", but I gather from your message that you and I are talking about the same thing: material and status prosperity.

(There is nothing wrong with aspiring to live a better life. Good for you!).

So, putting aside your faith issues. I believe you can be successful and prosperous in whatever you do if you follow "the recipe" for success:

1. Define what it is that you want to achieve. This may be one, or many things. Define it, define it, define it.

2. Articulate the reasons WHY you want to achieve such things. If you don't, you will lose momentum and motivation. Once you know why you want to achieve whatever it is that you want...

3. Find someone who's done the things you want to achieve, find out how he/she did it, and do it yourself. This may be via books, courses, workshops or by simply talking directly to people who have achieve similar goals to yours.

4. If you find obstacles along the way as you perform the steps the expert took, tweak the steps to suit your circumstances, keep reminding yourself why you wish to achieve your goal, and keep going... till you fulfill your goal.

I learned the above about 8 years ago... and my life changed for the better. I took control of my life, and I have never looked back to my old ways.

Don't hung on to the moral behaviours of others. If you're a christian, you know that "salvation is a personal thing". Getting hooked on other people's behaviours distract you from your own path.

Remember: I'm not suggesting you stop being a christian and abandon your moral codes. I'm only suggesting that these things are not the source of prosperity or misery. Your mind and determination are the source of your prosperity or misery.

Personally, I became happier once I rid myself from the ties of religion. But that's me. For you, it may be different. You may need to be attached to a religion.

Good luck with your life. I hope you achieve your goals, whatever they may be.

If you feel like talking more about the issues, visit my site and send me a message.

Regards,


Jeff

Answer 9

Don't count on feelings to guide you. They will almost always lead you 'astray.' "There is a way that seems right to 'men' but the end thereof is 'destruction.'"

You will count your blessings when you finally settle down and have a family. You can always tell your husband and kids what you did with a clean conscience. They will thank you for being a positive role model in their life. Not just your family, but your friends as well. Don't think that because they seem to have everything to make them happy, that they are truly happy. Money does not a success make. (Look at the future of Paris H., do you think she is 'successful?') What you do draws others like that to you. When you go the easy route, sloughing off good moral standards for easier ones, you will draw poor representations of people to you.

Answer 10

You aren't stating the problem completely... but it appears you equate success and advancement with "good jobs" and popularity.

You're 22. Stick to your principles. You have your self worth, and it's better than having other things and no sense of self worth. It's no reason to get righteous on others, just take the self esteem and pride that comes with knowing you stuck to your principles. Don't sell out. regardless of your religion, it's not "God's Fault" that you don't have a better job. I can't imagine changing religious beliefs because you don't think that after 22 whole years of commitment to your principles that you don't think you're "Getting yours". You will find your own successes and failures, you will find love and friendship, and knowing who you truly are can only make those more fruitful.

There is more to life than money and status... and being a person of character and principle will take you farther in the long run...

I think it's your standards of success that need evaluation, rather than your religious beliefs.

Answer 11

Do you really want to be known as the girl who sleeps with anyone and everyone?
Do you really want to be known as the girl with no surprises because of the revealing way you dress?
Do you only want a man to love you for the sex you can give him?
Do you only want to land that job because you show a little chest?
How long do you think all of those things are going to last?
How far is it going to get you when you are old and everything is saggy and you are on your own because you've had several affairs on your husband(s) and no one wants someone so "used"?
Take pride in yourself and don't be envious of others who are so frivolous.
It sounds to me like you have a very good head on your shoulders. If a real man can't appreciate that then they are not worth it.
Sleeping around is no guarantee that someone loves you.
Sounds to me like God has plans for you. You should see that he thinks you are more important to him than the others. Maybe He has someone special in mind for you who may not like you acting like the other women you see.