Should I feel guilty? When I was 10 years old, I watched a kid drown and did nothing? I was petrified and...?

Question

could not move.

Answer 1

no you were ten years old.

i am sorry you went through that experience.

get some professional counseling because it is natural to feel guilty but you have nothing to feel guilty about.

Answer 2

I wouldn't feel guilty. It's called the fight, flight or freeze response. When someone finds themselves in a life or death situation, the primitive part of their brain goes into survival mode and they are likely to either fight, run or freeze up and not be able to move. This exact same thing actually happened to Ray Charles when he was a child. It was his younger brother who was drowning and he froze up and just watched him drown. He went blind shortly after that and many believe the stress of the whole incident may have been one of the factors that led to his blindness. The whole "freeze up" response is very common in children, so please don't feel guilty, many kids would have responded the same way you did. Fortunately, most kids don't have to go through such a traumatic event, and I am so sorry that you had to experience that. Let it go, its not your fault.

Answer 3

Tell you what - if the same situation happened again, you'd be the ONE person who really knew how to respond.

People don't realise how shocking it can be, even for adults, to have a horror like this happen in front of you. It petrifies and paralyses you. You did nothing wrong: you suffered a great deal of guilt you didn't deserve, and I'm betting you learned a lot from your experience.

CD

Answer 4

My daughter is almost 10 and in a situation like that I know she would be "frozen by fear" too. She wouldn't know what to do. She would be standing there hoping everything would be ok. It's the innocence of a child. You should not feel guilty.
I know those words won't make the guilt stop, but it wasn't your fault.

Answer 5

Wow...fireball hits a new low in nastiness.....

Someone had a brain aneurism burst in front of me when I was 21 and I still froze. Thankfully the guy next to me snapped to action while I stood there mouth gaping like a fish. I couldn't imagine that happening when I was 10.

You have nothing to feel guilty for!

Answer 6

You were 10 years old and not a trained rescue diver, of course you're going to be petrified. Why feel guilty? If you do, seek counselling to help you deal with it, there's no shame in getting help when you need it.

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Answer 7

Remember you were only 10 years old of course it petrified you. No you should not feel guilty.

Answer 8

You were a child. You can't be expected to react the same as an adult would have reacted. I know that when you look back on it now, you think "I could have done this..." or "I should have done that...", but that's looking back with the maturity of someone who's older, and someone who isn't at the moment in a state of shock. It's natural to feel sad about it, but don't feel guilty. It's not your fault.

Answer 9

No reason to feel guilt. Children don't respond to things like adults do. They're not used to having control and power and even the idea that you could do something to save this kid might not occur to you.

You should talk to a counsellor or psychologist about this issue. Just one session. They could help you understand a lot about how a childs mind works and understand what was going on with you that day. Also hopefully free you up of some guilt.

Answer 10

Would you want your 10 year old child go into a body of water, perhaps over his head, and rescue his drowning friend by himself? If you had heard about his attempt, wouldn't you freak out just a little?

Answer 11

What good would that do if you felt guilty? It is sad and I am sorry that happened to you. You said yourself that you were petrified and could NOT move.