I feel sucked dry... please help.?

Question

I've been feeling really bad about myself and who I am for a while now. It's not depression, I'm sure of it. Maybe it's just boredom. It's because a lot of things in life haven't really gone the way I wanted or planned. And I know you can't have everything your way, and I'm fine with compromise. It's just a lot of bad stuff has been happening, and I can't help it. It's one thing after another. I think I am insecure about somethings and I don't know how to help myself. I've tried so many different places on the internet, but it's the same BS over and over. I don't feel good about myself anymore. Some of you might say it's low self esteem, but I don't think it is. I've read up on it and tried to raise it as much as possible. So I don't really know what to do anymore. I've felt so bad, I've considered taking up smoking, and everyone already says I give off a depressed look. Help me out. And please, don't give me any "you need to pray and have faith" stuff. I've done that.

"Maybe you're just too focused on you. If you're tired of the channel you're watching, change it. Realize that this is one day, there will be more after this. You have things happening to you that you do not think are your fault, but trust me, you made choices along the way which DO have something to do with you. Start with the biggest problem you are having and write it down, then how it became a problem. By the time you go back far enough, you will know what I mean. This is called accountability. Good luck."

I've tried accounting for my wrong doings, and I've tried being more generous and doing nice things for other people, but it can only help so much. I've also tried being more selfless. And I already have journals, two big journals, and I think I might need to move on to a 3rd one. The stuff you're all telling me is all things I've read on the internet already. Any other ideas?

"thesecret.tv -enter-secret gifts and play both the girl on the lawn and the building videos then buy the movie...it is about 90 min and will help you greatly"

Personally, I think your whole "secret" idea is full of it. I read the site, and personally, I think it's nonsense. I'll consider it, but I really don't feel like paying for a DVD that I think is full of crap, even if it's only 5$.

And the whole secret idea.... the site said it was new age, etc. Which, in my mind, falls under the category of religion, even though new age isn't really a religion.

Any other answers??

Answer 1

You say it's not depression & you say it's not low self esteem but as a professional it seems like both to me. This feeling you have is not uncommon {I have been there} but you will not be able to pull out alone.Try some one on one therapy, with a therapists not a shrink. Remember, we don't see ourselves too well, & sometimes it takes an objective, outside person to help. Also we are more apt to be real & honest with someone not in our social circle. Good luck to you, I know you are feeling miserable.

Answer 2

Maybe you're just too focused on you. If you're tired of the channel you're watching, change it. Realize that this is one day, there will be more after this. You have things happening to you that you do not think are your fault, but trust me, you made choices along the way which DO have something to do with you. Start with the biggest problem you are having and write it down, then how it became a problem. By the time you go back far enough, you will know what I mean. This is called accountability. Good luck.

Answer 3

I see a lot of people say you are too focused on yourself. This may be but please entertain the option that just maybe it is the opposite. Maybe you are not focusing enough on yourself. A while back I was trying to do too much and be too many things to too many people and I started to feel a lot like you do and lots of things started to go wrong in my life almost overwhelming. One day it hit me that I was spending all my time trying to be there for others. I started to take some time for me. First it was a short walk, then a few minutes to focus in the bathroom at work before returning, now I am swimming several times a week. The funny thing is - I am getting more done and feel better because I feel that I am worth the same energy I was spending on everyone else in my life. Don't know if this will help but it is worth a try. You are worth it.

Answer 4

I used to feel that exact way, and I still do from time to time. I have started doing things that keep my mind occupied, I am in college right now and that has been the biggest boost in not feeling so blah all the time. I would suggest you should start doing something anything to get you out of your house. I used to be really insecure about what everybody thought of me and if I perceived anything less than them wanting to be my friend I would beat myself up about not being worthy of having them as a friend. I do have to admit that having friends to talk to did help me get over my insecurities. I also made it a point not to spend my time obsessing about things that I could not change and figure out how to change the things I could that needed to change. I think my biggest thing I did was go back to school. I didn't want to be wearing a stupid Publix uniform for the rest of my life having people look down to me and think that I am just a lowly cashier who didn't go to school to be more. I hope this helps you.

Answer 5

Depression isn't the same for everybody. There are certain recognized symptoms, but not everybody has all of the same symptoms. Also, denial is common because mental health problems still carry a social stigma and a lot of people don't like to identify themselves as having a mental health problem.

If you feel like that almost every day for a month or two, I would recommend telling a medical doctor about it.

Answer 6

Id recomend going outside.

When I feel overwhelmed with things I like to just sit outside for a while. The best for me is if I can get over to the lake and walk along the lake or just watch it for a while. Otherwise I like laying in the grass watching stars.

What that does for me psychologically is I think about questions with no answers. How far away are those stars? How many are there? In a car how long would that take to get there? It is impossible to answer them by just watching so you think about things that have nothing to do with the rest of your life. Its refreshing.

Answer 7

It sounds like you have lost your dream..without a dream my people perish God says...but good news here! you can recapture your life...
here is how...
first off what you give your attention to grows so you need to quit giving your power away and keep your mind on the things you want to attract..not the bad...if you go to thesecret.tv -enter-secret gifts and play both the girl on the lawn and the building videos and say them out loud to yourself you will start to find a whole new life...also do some self inventory...start with a pad of paper and a pen and write down 10 things you love to do?-then 10 things you love about your life?-then 10 things you would do if you had all the money you needed and all the time?...then 10 thinkgs you would want to see different in your life now? then write your dream day from waking up to going to sleep...where you live, who is with you, what you do all day?...remember you have unlimited supplies and money and time....now write down what used to be your favorite toys?...and why?...what did you want to be when you grew up when you were little? start looking at your life as if you were a alien and have to report back to your mothership what human life is all about. look at your house as if you dont know the person and are trying to find out who they are and what they are all about...dind a new adventure...move to a new town and start again...the world is big and beautiful and full of adventures just waiting for you...but you cant plant tomatoes and get corn...act the way you want to feel...the human subconciense will accept anything as true within a 90 day period...plant the seeds in your brain you want to see happen not the bad stuff and it will go away...I know it works...I have done it time and again and several people I know have changed there life. the secret is $5 to watch on the website...it will give you new hope and help guide you...I get all the emails from the teachers which inspire me everyday...my husband and I have been watching our lives get better everyday and its only going to get better...so have hope here....your cry for help has been heard...your answers await you as does your new life....get excited again..this is real and true and it does work..I know it will help....but remember...you cant swim without getting wet...jump in both feet...what do you have to loose?

Answer 8

Sometimes I feel that way. It's probably anxiety if you say that it's not depression. You should get a journal and write down what's bothering you. The thing that has helped me is is joining swimming and cross country, because it made my mind clearer, healthy, and positive. It makes me take up on challenges. Please don't smoke, it'd only make it worst and you're killing yourself.

Answer 9

Focus on one thing you enjoy doing and do it. If that turns out to be the wrong thing, focus on something else. Try to drive out of your mind all the other things and obsess on that and that alone, to the best of your ability.

Don't even try to tackle all those problems. You'd be overwhelmed and that will do you absolutely no good. I remember I was served a flaming drinking at a Dallas Mexican Restaurant. They waiter says drink it. I was afraid my mustache would catch on fire and I stared at it. He said, "Don't think."

Think about not thinking.

Answer 10

Life doesn't have to work out on the level of things. It usually doesn't, and people get depressed. No wonder.... the solution is to accept what is. Then you look forward to life.

And all the things in your life don't have to be other than they are.