My fiance offered to pay for his mother's flight and hotel for our wedding, but it's going to set us back about $800 and the only way we can afford it is if we take out a new credit card, but I don't want to start off our marriage in debt. Has anyone ever had this problem before? Thank you.
2007-06-12 08:23:59 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Split the cost, and/or ask other family members to chip in.
2007-06-12 08:29:29 · answer #1 · answered by Kat 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Not sure what your finances are like, but you definitely don't want to open a credit card! You obviously can't pay it off when the bill comes in so it will end up costing you a lot more than $800 after you tack on the interest charges! The wedding gifts you get are supposed to help you start your new life together, not spend on a plane ticket for someone else! Unless you're having a huge wedding and plan on getting a ton of money, I would say to try and get other family members to chip in, find a friend or relative she can stay with to save on hotel and tell her no need for a gift. Honestly, she's your fiance's mother, if it is so important for her to see her son get married, she should have starting saving for the event as soon as it was announced! Sounds cold hearted, but hey...it's your day. The flip side of it is....how close is your fiance to his mother? How important to both of you is it that she be there? If there is no question about it, you need to find a way to make it work. If you haven't finalized everything yet, you could cut costs here and there in order to afford getting her the plane ticket. Just don't get another credit card!
2007-06-12 09:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by geistswoman 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
We have this situation now. My daughter is getting married in October. We offered to pay to fly the bridal party out, which includes the groom's father, but not his mother. The groom said his mother can't afford it and so wasn't going to come and that she was OK with that. I said, no way, I'm a mother and I couldn't imagine not being included in my children's wedding and I wouldn't even consider having a wedding without including the groom's mother. I told them that if she couldn't afford it, then they either needed to pay for her ticket or postpone the wedding until somebody could save up the money for a ticket. My daughter and her fiance are going to pay for the ticket.
Listen, honey, if you leave your future mother-in-law out, no matter how sweet she is, she is going to be hurt and will never forget it. You need to find a way to make this happen. Could someone in the area let her stay at their house so you don't have a hotel bill? Could you, or your fiance, take on a second part-time job for a couple of months? Could some of the family help out? Maybe brothers or sisters, aunts or uncles, or grandparents? Could your parents help? Is there something you could sell to raise the money? (Ebay is amazing!) Could you cut back on the wedding costs and use that money for the ticket? I would bet the answer to that is yes, if you're honest. Whatever it takes, make it happen.
Put yourself in her shoes--what if your child was getting married--wouldn't you want to be included? Good luck.
2007-06-12 08:47:39 · answer #3 · answered by kk 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Obviously you and your future mother in law are not completely broke! Come up with a compromise, and split the costs! I'd say that if you're going on your honeymoon, than simply let her stay at your house for a couple days after the wedding! That way everyone wins.
Debt isn't something to be following you after the walk down the aisle! His mother is important to him, so I would simply ensure the fact that she is there! No need to go broke for it!
Also, maybe some people will give money as gifts for your wedding? Which will soften the blow of expenses!
Good luck! And, I hope this helped.
2007-06-12 08:58:32 · answer #4 · answered by shootsamshoot 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a delimma, but actually it is your fiance's problem, because it is his Mother. She should be at the wedding, and if it means, charging it on a credit card, it is well spent. Pay it off with some of the money you get from your wedding gifts. Also another solution would be for her to pay half and your fiance to pay half, but it should be worked out as it is very important that his Mother be there.
2007-06-12 12:29:49 · answer #5 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked if anyone had this problem: I haven't as sadly my Mother died when I was a little girl. I missed my Mother on my wedding day and the fact that your Fiance has already offered to stand the cost, suggests that he really wants his Mother (your Mother-In-Law) to be there. My advice, don't start your married life by excluding her from your wedding, family is everything. She may be able to make a contribution of sorts.
Check out Airtran and other cheap airlines/ask for cash rather than presents from your friends and family, find somewhere comfortable for her to stay even if that is with you, honeymoons can be taken later. Does your Fiance have siblings, perhaps they could help. You will remember the people who attended your wedding rather than things so downscale rather than get another credit card.
Good Luck, it will all work out.
2007-06-12 08:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound like you can afford to get married, period. I say that because if $800 is all it takes for you to be in debt then you're in trouble girl! This is something the two of you should have talked about well in advance of the plans you made. If you're not overseas, get someone to drive his mother out to where you are and pay for the gas and hotel. If you are overseas, it looks like you'll have to cough up the cash.
2007-06-13 03:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by Sondra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you check out
http://www.expedia.com
http://www.travelocity.com and these kind of sights to save a bunch of money on flights.
You can sometimes get last minute flights for about $100 or less!
I always use these for my traveling. So do all my friends, It saves hundreds and even thousands of dollars on a flight.
And yes defianatly have her stay with you or other family so she doesnt need a hotel.
I'm sure if you ask her, she can help to pay for the flight and anything else. Oher than that, If she had ample time to save for your wedding to get there, then she should have tried a little harder.
She knew you were getting married, and just didnt do anything about trying to get herself there on her own. So now you gotta go in debt to get her there, I dont find that fair in the least.
Try to check out those sights I gave you, and hopefully you can get her a ticket for less than $200 and maybe she can pay half? Good luck.
2007-06-12 09:26:37 · answer #8 · answered by mannasox 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe there's a way that you could have her go to the wedding by bus or even train (less expensive and pretty comfortable), instead of airplane because that would save you alot of money. Also there are some websites that offer really cheap flight tickets. Good Luck :)
www.spiritairlines.com
www.cheaptickets.com
www.hotwire.com
2007-06-12 09:19:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does your future husband have any brothers or sisters that can help out with the exsp? You can also ask other family members to help out also.If you can get six people to help out that will be only 134.00 per person. If not do a yard sell,bake sell if you have a few months or so before your wedding.
2007-06-12 15:59:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask family members to help out a little, Maybe have her pitch in a little and if she can't stay with family rent a cheaper motel. Like a Super 8 instead of a Holiday Inn (for example)
2007-06-12 15:29:51 · answer #11 · answered by Jamie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋