What is the BEST way to heal a broken heart after you have been USED?

Question

I just broke up with my boyfriend because he used me for his sexual advances and I realized it. I did not lose my virginity to him but he has gone further than making out with me. Now I feel really used and physically sick. What are some ways I can get over this?

Answer 1

Hi Victoria, I'm glad you broke off with him before the inevitable happened. You were wise to do so. Since he was probably your whole world, the center of your universe, and took up a lot of your time, there will be a great big vaccum now. Give yourself a little time to grieve over the loss if necessary. Then, fill up the vaccum, uh, rather your calendar with things to do and places to go. What events are coming up that you'd like to attend. Enroll in some classes, in the fall. Learn crafts, develop your hobby, take dance, get a really good make-over and learn new techniques in make-up application, learn how to pull together a great wardrobe, change your job; only you know what appeals to you, but get busy, busy, busy! Get caught up in a whole new life, new friends, and one day, the thought will pop into your mind, "gasp. I've really come a long, long way. Who'd a thought it?! If there is just a little twinge of regret, over the break-up, you'll still know you did the right thing and how to not let it happen again. You will have learned some valuable lessons. God bless!

Answer 2

Well I think it's just dependent on the person, whether or not their heart can heal. I mean some people find it quite easy to just "move on" and find someone new, even after a long term relationship just got over with. Anyways I guess sometimes different people make a far greater impact on your emotions than others do. I also think it's a Mind Over Matter issue as well, because I think generally a lot of people will psych themselves out into thinking that, that person was the only one for them etc. Then they start to believe their own lies that they are telling themselves about why the relationship didn't work and what they could/should have done differently. I guess the biggest thing you have to remember is that you can't make someone else like you. You can love them to death and want to give them the world and you might be willing to swim across the ocean for them. However the other person either feels the same way, or they do not...there is no in betweens. So again, I think it's all boiled down to the psychological aspect of thinking in this case. ....it takes time to heal. it also takes an unwanted harsh look at reality to make you see yourself and your environment for what it is, and not what you wish it to be. ....You're only hurting yourself by not moving on and dwelling on the past. Think about it.

Answer 3

Well, staying bitter won't help. Neither will taking revenge. If you're really the kind who's pretty vindictive, then go do something about it. If you wanna get over this whole mishap, then maybe it's time to go out and have some "alone" time, but not just any kind.. Take care of yourself. Go take a break and get a massage, or go to the spa. Do something that'll soothe your mind. You can also buy a book that interests you and read it. I'm not implying you should just forget about him; it never is easy. What I'm trying to say is that you have to remember to love yourself and actually do something about it. Rushing into another relationship won't really be a good thing, unless you do get swept off your feet genuinely. You might just be on the rebound, so be considerate of the next one you'll date. Also, loving yourself and being loved by someone else aren't the same. This is the time you should first care for yourself, and once you feel some confidence find its way back, once you've felt that you deserve much better, (knowing it and feeling it are also different things) surely, the great things you deserve will come to you. Your confidence and self-esteem will draw them to you. Also, don't think that it always takes someone else to heal one's own heart. You can do this on your own.. Maybe you'll also grow up a little more, and learn some more new things. It was also wise that you didn't just give your virginity up. You'll find that there will be a good number of other things that you will have learned by the time this ordeal is over :) Ball's in your court. :)

Answer 4

I have several possibilities:

1. Time. You'll naturally feel a little upset for awhile, and simply waiting it out will make a big difference.

2. Distraction. Keep yourself busy. Have fun with your friends. Watch a movie. Get some exercise. Join a club or volunteer somewhere. The more you occupy yourself with, the easier it will be to move on and get over it.

3. Talk to someone about it. Maybe you have a close friend or parent or teacher you can discuss your feelings with. If not, ask your doctor to refer you to a counselor. It can help a lot.

4. Move on. When you feel you are ready, start looking for a new and better boyfriend. Don't define yourself based on whether or not you have a boyfriend, but if you want one, then get on out there and start looking. There are good guys out there.

I'm sorry your boyfriend... correction, EX-boyfriend... treated you poorly. Hang in there and give it some time, and you'll be fine. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself!

Answer 5

Chosen By You

I know what you're talking about. You're at that point where it hurts to breathe and you think you'll never love anyone as much again or ever be happy again. You have to keep telling yourself that this guy isn't worth it, especially if he left you for someone else. That's a scumbag move. No guy is worth walking around with so much pain in your heart. After I broke up with my first love, I felt the same as you do. The answer... and I don't think it is time ... is to be active again. You MUST start to date again or go out with friends. This will help keep you occupied and will prevent you from just sitting and going over and over again in your head what went wrong. This is what keeps wounds open unless you allow yourself to heal. Close that chapter in your book, the guy is long gone and with good reason. You WILL fall in love again and you will be happy again, but you've gotta get out of your chair!! Just take it one day at a time and take an active role in your healing. Don't mope around expect "time" to heal your wounds. Only you can do this. Good luck and I promise things will get better. But you must allow them to first I no this pain all to wel this is from my page i had the samd problem I hope this help

Answer 6

The only way you're going to get over him and the way you feel it to avoid him and cope. Try not to be alone so don't don't think about him and what he did. You have to accept that the past is that past and there's nothing you can do but accept it and learn from it. Next time you're in a relationship you'll know what to look for in a guy and what not to. It's a learning experience, it sucks but it's done. When I'm feeling blue i usually write all my feelings out, it's a great way to use up your pent up energy. Over time your heart will heal and you'll be ready to move forward in your life. Time changes everything, good luck hun. Sorry he was such a jerk. :( Hope this helped.

Answer 7

Maintain your routines and emotional reserves.
Remember that the people who depended on you yesterday will still need you tomorrow.
Allow yourself to be in a bad mood for five minutes at a time, then change the topic.
Write down what happened and how it felt. Put it in a place where you can find it, but nobody else is likely to. Read it if you feel any impulse to make up with him.
You will sell the people that you call on. Find a better place to look for your next boyfriend.
Take a break from dating, at least a month for every year that you were involved with him.

Answer 8

only time.

don't revert to childish pranks to "get him back" --- because it's likely he's as confused about how to treat women as you are about how you have been about how you deserve to be treated


chalk it up to a learning experience, be glad you didn't give up more.

however bad you feel now, it will pass more quickly than you would believe right now -- and you will look back and be glad that you had this lesson

don't use any physical means to make yourself feel better (aka don't eat ice cream, don't get a new guy, don't spray paint your ex's car doors)
just go hang with your female friends and try to learn from that what it really means to be accepted as you are
and hang with your family

it's important to know that there are plenty of people in the world who actually care about you
realizing this will help you realize that if some guy doesn't treat you right and you have gotten away from him -- you've gotten yourself a victory

time will pass and it will get better, but there's no magic formula for "getting over" it

Answer 9

I dont get how people get so depressed over some stupid guy who used them for sex. Plus you weren't even a virgin to begin with. And why did you say he used you for sex? Didn't you enjoy it also?

Anyways, let me answer your question to the best of my ability. Don't think about how horrible he was like that other girl said. Think about what you got out of the relationship and what it taught you about love. You need to move on with your life and live it to the fullest! Jot down some goals for the future, etc. And just remember it's not the end of the world.

Answer 10

I know how you feel. Almost every girl has been through that. I know I did. All you have to do is move forward. Don't let nobody see you down. Best cures, is to go out with you friends you can get distracted. Meet new ppl. Or you can get a myspace account. They are the best. You get to meet so many people. I'll add you as my friend, if you want to. Good Luck sweetie! It will be okay :o)

On Myspace Search: Yescenia Arias...that's me!!