Being Courteous on the Train?

Question

Why is it that people are so mean to individuals they can clearly see needs a seat, talking about pregnant women, being newly pregnant myself most mornings I am unable to get a seat on the subway allot of individuals they look at u then your belly u your belly is as if they are trying to figure out weather its worth giving up their seat on the train. To all the people who find it to hard to give their seat up, one day u gonna need someone to be kind to u and it might be that once pregnant woman u refused the seat on the train. Be kind it just takes a heart beat.

Answer 1

The best way I have seen people deal with this is to politely ask for a seat. Just a simple, "I'm sorry to bother you, but would you mind if I sat down? My back is killing me..." If there are others around, which I'm sure there are since all the seats are taken, either that person will get up out of guilt or someone else will and make the first person look REALLY bad. Kill 'em with kindness - it's the best way to get what you want (and deserve!). Good luck to you!

Answer 2

I have had three children. When you are pregnant you are not handicapped. Women want to be considered Strong and independent but then turn around and EXPECT a guy to hand over his seat. It is nice when it happens and it is a courteous thing to do but it shouldn't be expected. I know I couldn't imagine my grandmother complaining about this. I guess this is coming from the fact that once you are on your second pregnancy you realize you never get to sit anyway so why inconvenience someone else? I am the type of person that would say thank you for offering but no thank you. you have no idea what kind of day that person is sitting had. maybe they have a bad back or hurt their knee recently. Sorry if this sounds harsh just being honest.

Answer 3

Let me play the devil's advocate, so to speak, on this issue.

I see this question come up time and time again, and I have a different viewpoint that hasn't been shared.

What if the man doesn't notice that you're standing there looking for a seat? I live in NYC, so I take the train everywhere. As a passenger, and someone who lives in a large city, I've been conditioned to just keep my focus off other people. I sit there, relax, read, etc--but rarely make eye contact or am aware of the people that are around me.

This isn't because I'm rude, this is because I've been conditioned to live in my own little bubble. I don't notice people around me, because quite frankly, there are too many people.

It's just something to consider. Perhaps the person isn't aware that you're pregnant and/or in need of a seat.

I think the answer here is: ask and you shall receive.

Answer 4

Some people might be selfish, some unsure if you'd be offended in this feminist society, some might not have been taught better, and some might figure that if you need to sit, you will say so.

Unfortunately, this is how life is today.

If you really need to sit, step up to the plate and simply say out loud, "Is there anyone who could let me sit? I'm (whatever the problem is- nauseous, whatever) and really need to sit for a bit."

With some luck, there will be someone willing to be courteous.

Answer 5

I hate to see people who refuse to give up their seats on the train to elderly/pregnant/disabled people--especially when men do it. They'll give you a look like, "You got yourself pregnant!" or "Not my fault you broke your foot." or "If you're not too old to work, you're not too old to stand." Some of these guys just *ooze* ********* and self-centeredness. I'd like to smack them upside the head, lol.

Then there are the guys who are sort of pitiful...the ones who usually offer their seats to women/older people, but have been shot down in the past so many times by these bra-burning, femi-nazis, that they're scared to offer their seats for fear of being flamed!

As a woman who has two kids herself, I'd gladly offer my seat to you--whether you were 9 weeks or 9 months along. I used to have these horrible dizzy spells (blood pressure issues) during my first pregnancy, and if I stood too long I'd actually faint. I fainted right at Marshall's once--wating in line for layaway, lol.

Are you visibly pregnant yet? I mean, can you see your bump and do you wear maternity clothes? If not, it could be that people don't realize you're pregnant and don't see why you shouldn't stand. If you ARE visibly pregnant, just stand there and give a SERIOUS evil eye to anyone who dares make eye contact with you. Make your stare burn holes into their brain, all the while rubbing your pregnant belly. If nothing else, it'll make them incredibly guilty and a little scared of you, LOL.

Enjoy your pregnancy, and congrats!

Answer 6

Manners and courtesy have long previous by the wayside, and it is not in basic terms on trains. I stay in a small motel city. once you do ought to push by a 'vacationer clot' interior the aisles of the food market, well mannered society demands the mandatory "excuse me' or "pardon me." a similar well mannered society demands those expressions of civility to be recognised with a "excuse me' or "particular" or "no subject." right here, whilst presented up, you do no longer even get a grunt in return from those boors. My answer? I extremely have began goin' off on 'em, desirable there interior the aisle, with politeness, albeit with volume, reminding them of what etiquette demands, on a similar time as declaring that the locals who stay listed decrease than are actually not there for his or her traveling excitement, or on the least, no longer as their very own pissin' submit. of direction this has no effect regardless of on the offenders, even regardless of the undeniable fact that it makes me experience extra valuable.

Answer 7

I am courteous on trains [subway trains] and buses even in countries where I do not speak the same language as the population. Courtesy is appreciated, and I have received thanks in English, French, German, and Spanish.

I truly courteous person does not act in a courteous manner with the expectation of receiving thanks. People should offer a seat to pregnant women, the elderly, and the disabled because it is the right thing to do.

Answer 8

I agree with you. Sorry you are having a hard time with this. You may want to try to see if you can find someone that seems nice and ask them if they minded letting you sit down for just a minute if you don't feel very well. If they think you don't feel well, they may be up to getting up.

Answer 9

see now, i'm just plain ol' rude and would have looked at the guy and said," yes, i'm pregnant. are you going to give up your seat or did your mama not teach you any manners?"
if he didn't readily give up his seat i would have used his lap as my seat.

would you want a hormonal pregnant woman you don't know sitting on you? he'll think about it next time he sees a pregnant woman.

Answer 10

That is because we are becoming a very selfish society, you know now what they mean in the bible when they say" do unto others as you would have them do unto you", oh that's right the bible isn't politically correct anymore, get used to it, that is only the tip of the iceberg if you take God and the bible out of our lives.