When I was younger and in trouble a lot my father told me I was not his child and that my mother's best friends husband was. At first I thought he was just angry with me, but my mother has a wild past. I am the oldest of 11 children most from different fathers so it could be possible. Now that I am in my 30's I approached my father again with the question and he said that he believes there is a chance he could not be my father. I love my father and even call him "daddy" still. Should I ask him for a DNA test or leave it alone. Part of me thinks I could hurt more people if the test comes back that his isn't my father. I would never speak to my mother again and my half sister and brother by my father would be effected. If I don't ask it's only me who is effected by not knowing. I really don't know what to do.
2007-06-12 07:37:12 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
So you find out he's not your dad, then what? Unless you need to know because of your own children's health, then leave it alone.
A father is not made by the passing of sperm. A father is the one who cared, nurtured and supported you in love. If the man who you call "daddy" is that man, then you have a father.
2007-06-12 08:13:01 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try and look at it this way. A DNA test would be a good thing. Why? because if your dad (and he IS your dad, even if he is not the biological unit that produced you) is not the one, then you need to verify that for health issues. That's all. Does the man who donated his sperm to form you have cancer history? Heart History? Other medical issues? Let the man who raised you know that you love him and honor him and that you always will, but for the sake of your children's health (future children? ) you need to resolve this. Does it change the dynamic between you and your dad? Only if the two of you let it. Nevertheless, talk it all out with him and make sure he understands it's about the health of your children.
As for your mom/brother/sister, she/they are not really as big an issue as your dad is. People make mistakes. The true question for her/them is how they treat you NOW. Are they loving/caring/compassionate? If they think this a "weapon" against them, it will be. You can't control what they think. But learn your health history..because it's important. Good Luck and God Bless..and honor the man who taught you to have such a caring heart.
2007-06-12 10:36:32 · answer #2 · answered by Asking 1 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ask your dad to take the test, but make a promise to each other that no matter what the results, he will continue to fulfill the same role in your life and you in his. You don't want to lose the man you've known as a parent after so many years together.
As for your mom, forgive her! Yes, she had a wild past, but can you blame her for wanting you to have a father? I doubt her friend's husband was willing to be a parent to you, and it's commendable that your father took on the responsibility.
2007-06-12 07:56:43 · answer #3 · answered by emmajane06 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the actuality he enable his sister handle his love life as quickly as, leaving you, the mummy of his toddler, exhibits he does not incredibly understand his very own techniques. he's like an empty sparkling e book waiting for human beings to come back alongside and write the story of his life in it. You the two have families who prefer to pull you 2 aside. it incredibly is going to place your relationship under super stress. in case you're able to have a gamble mutually, then you definately the two ought to ditch your families. while you're making a wreck out of your mom than he has to shrink off touch together with his nasty sister, who's additionally attempting to chop up you up each and every of the time (and has already succeeded as quickly as). So in case you prefer to grant it yet another possibility on your son to correctly known his father, then lay down the regulation and tell this indecisive guy how issues are going to be. tell him he ought to be truthful to you, and that consists of retaining faraway from people who poison his techniques against you. If he does not decide for this, then basically keep in mind which you are the sturdy one, you will continually be the extra substantial be certain on your son's life, and being in sole administration of your person destiny is a sturdy feeling. SO in case you ought to finally end up being a single Mum, do it, take excitement in it. And keep in mind, despite happens, your son continually comes first, in the previous every person else. continually.
2016-10-07 09:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by arieux 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough situation. Look at this way your Dad seems to have always known that he might not be your biological father. Despite this he raised and cared for you like his own. Will you feel differently about your dad if you find out he isn’t your biological father?
2007-06-12 10:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by Spread Peace and Love 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you respect him as your father and he treats you well then leave it alone.
My cousin knows that his father is not his biological and they have a great relationship.
He knows the name of his biological father and has no desire to even try and find him.
2007-06-12 07:45:42 · answer #6 · answered by swimbike21 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
leave it....it will be better that way
he raised you even so maybe he isn't your "father" by birth but he is your father
2007-06-12 09:24:25 · answer #7 · answered by heyhomieee 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
doesn't matter, he is still your fathah. DNA isn't gonna prove that wrong.
2007-06-12 08:07:54 · answer #8 · answered by DAIMAKU 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea..i think if everything's fine between you and your dad, maybe it's best for not knowing it~
2007-06-12 07:52:18 · answer #9 · answered by anna 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋