How to mend a broken relationship?

Question

with my dad. I haven't spoken to my dad in three years for personal reasons, but last night I found out that he was sick, something to do with his blood. He is awaiting a specialist to determin what is wrong with him. Then my boyfriend calls and we had an argument, and he hung up on me (very rude), so that made things worse. My question is this: I know that I need to be there at a time like this, but what do I do? Should I call him, or since Fathers Day is coming should I buy him a gift and show up at his house....or, should I wait till he calls to give me the news (I know he won't, it's a pride thing). If I do nothing, and something happends to him, I would never forgive myself.
What to do?

Answer 1

Once you are a grown up, its on you to decide what relationships you have. Just because they are your parents, doesn't mean you need to have a relationship with them. However, the question you should always ask yourself is this "If my dad dies and I haven't spoken to him, what will be my regrets?". If you don't have any other than you wish he was a better human being, then sickness and death isn't going to change that. Sick and/or dead a bad person is still a bad person. But if you are simply mad at him because of words said or emotions, then be a grown up and give him a call. In the long run you can put yourself at peace and be there for him if you want to be. Don't expect your father to change, he's too old and its too late. However don't be surprised if he really appreciates your taking the first step.

Pride is not a good attribute. Pride gets you nothing but emptiness. Pride is nothing to keep you warm at night or make you smile. Next to jealousy, pride is the stupidest excuse for distancing yourself from someone you love.

Call your father, or better yet go and see him. You want to, its all over your question, so go ahead and make up. You won't regret it.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

Dear Kitty-Kat,
I witnessed the same situation years ago after my relationship with my mother's broke entirely on her fault.
I learnt from a cousin living far from my place, and who phoned me, that she was hospilatlized. A neighbour had found her lying by the side of her bed.
I phoned my brother who already knew about the news and forbade me to go and pay a visit to her at the hospital. I had to resort to call the doctors in charge and did it everyday.
I fell down on the stairs and broke my arm and was operated in the same hospital, but she left to live with my brother as I was still hospitalized.
One day, the same cousin called me to ask me if I knew of my mother's death. It had happened two months ealier, and my brother was just advising the whole family.
I don't know how she died and was buried. The priest of her parish did not know anything either.
It is very bad experience that I wouldn't wish you to witness.
If you think there is an opportunity to mend the relationship with your father, please do it. Anything will do: a phone call, a gift for Father's Day. That special day is a good opportunity for you.
I wish you all the best. Be confident.

Answer 4

sometimes you have to swallow your pride. things may be tough between you and him but you have an opportunity right now to work on it. he is sick, he is your father. go to him. weather you are right or not doesnt really matter. odds are he has thought a lot about what happened and maybe this illness is what it takes to set things right. it will be scary and awkward but he will know that you care. that may be all it takes. if you dont and this condition is bad and you lose him you will never forgive yourself. i did that to my gramma. i stood there in the icu and watched just before she took her last breath and still didnt say what needed to be said. now i cannot.
best bet gift and show up on fathers day. do not call. he will almost certainly shut you down. you have to see him and he has to see you, face to face. hes the only dad you have. once hes gone hes gone

Answer 5

Don't buy a gift. Just show up. You're his gift. At this point, there's no reason whatsoever to bring up whatever caused the rift between you and your father. It's moot anyway. Let it go. Patch up that relationship, and do it quick. Life is too short and too precious to waste it with arguments that keep you from loved ones. Tell your father you love him. And mean it.

Answer 6

u should juz go look for him
Let bygones be bygones
wat had happen has already past
if u keep clinging on to the past
ur life will only be a miserable one
i think ur father would be overjoyed if u visited
i noe i would
juz talk to him
old wounds heal in time
and it will heal faster with help

Answer 7

show up with a fathers day gift....it will be a nice surprise and a good way to rebuild ur relationship. that is ur father, he helped bring u in this world and he is blood/family...dont ruin that. mend ur problems with him and as for ur bf....ur dad should come first, he should be the last of ur worries.

Answer 8

don't let your pride get in the way. i have before its not worth it. suck it up and go there to be with him. call him and let him know your coming a gift isn't important he would much rather have you there. even if nothing is wrong with him all of this just for pride isn't worth it.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

You gave your own best answer : - )
If you do nothing, you'll never forgive yourself.
The others are right - you don't need a gift - you being there is what he needs right now...
Good luck, to him AND to you.