Suggestions on vows to my future step daughters?

Question

I've posted this before, but I'm hoping to get more suggestions

I'm 26, and I'm marrying a 43 yr. old man with two daughters. The girls have been part of my life for the past two years now...they are with us every other weekend.

We are including them in the ceremony, they will be part of our "Unity Sand ceremony" (instead of a unity candle), and at some point during the wedding, I'm going to give them each a piece of jewelry (The 13 yr old is getting a necklace, the 11 yr old is getting a charm with a charm bracelet).

As part of giving the jewelry to the girls, I intend on explaining why we picked those pieces of jewelry. I also want to give some sort of vows/promises to the kids..but I have no idea what to say.

I want to recognize the fact that I'm not just marrying their Dad...I'm becoming part of their family. They will be the only children I'll ever have.

I need suggestions on vows...ideas on what to say...or tell me if you have done this in your own wedding..

Please, if you answered this question before, do not answer it again.

Before anyone asks, my fiance and I are not going to have children, so yes, I'm sure these will be the only children in my life, and that is the way I want it.

Details on the jewelry: We chose the jewelry by having each girl pick 5 pieces of jewelry out of a big jewelry book....all of the pieces were "beach" or "sea life" themed, like our beach wedding.

From those 5 choices for each of them, we picked one piece that fits the individual child.

One of the 5 chosen by the eldest daughter is a gold pendant with 4 swimming dolphins...she said it represented the 4 of us. The youngest daughter had a colorful sea turtle as one of her choices...and she is a very colorful personality (she is the one who keeps us laughing at every dinner table conversation), so we picked that one for her.

Answer 1

Vow to not try and replace their mother but to love them just as much as she does. To look after their best interests and always be fair and just. Vow to be at important events--what are they wanting to do with life?

Vow to be there for prom, high school graduation, and lifes great highs but also to be there for the low points of first love's heartbreak, and the rejection letters from college. To celebrate with exuberant joy and to comfort and cry sympathy tears.

If one wants to be a doctor, vow you will support her career and be there when it is difficult. To be there are her graduation from medical school.

Vow to be honest and always give them the best advice possible. To put their needs ahead of your own. To be the best mother you can possibly be and to make sure that not a day goes by that you don't express how much you love them. To support them and teach them the ways of the world (responsibility, compassion, morals) so that they can be the best adult possible.

I love the idea of individual jewelry and explaining why you picked that piece. Perhaps that ties into them as a person and explaining that you love that characteristic about them.

Answer 2

Before I talk about vows, I must ask if you have really thought this age thing through. 17 year difference...that is almost half a generation. When he is 67 you will only be 50. True he could be in good health on the other hand he could be in a nursing home having his rear wiped by you. Remember that when you take your VOWS to him they are meant FOR LIFE TILL DEATH US DO PART. Those vows are to God, NOT to people. Through good and bad...are you ready for what the future could hold for you. My friend thought so. She was 23 and he was 58. Now 12 years later he is 70 and she is 35. He is in a nursing home and cannot take care of himself at all.

Remember that vows are different then promises:
Deuteronomy 23:23
23 Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the LORD your God with your own mouth.

Maybe you should just make them some promises...but remember you are now there step-mother and not there friend. It is time to be a mom and make mom decisions.

The caution I would throw to the wind is simply, do not make promises you cannot keep.

Answer 3

Here are a few sites that offer nice child/step childern wedding vows and inclusion...

Answer 4

vow to love them as if they were your own, but also not to over step your boundaries and try to be their mom, because you realize you arent replacing their real mom. Vow to be a friend, but also a figure of authoorty in their lives. Vow to always love them, even when they are both teens and hating you for telling them they cant go to a party (just to add humor.)

Answer 5

TWO WORDS
WHITE TRASH!!

Glad to see you found someone who would actually marry you.... GROSS