Alcohol in the home when raising children.?

Question

my mom is a pastors wife and quiet controlling and prone to exagerated adult tantrums to get her way. My daughter was 2 years old and I got a really nice wine rack and put vodka and rye and and such in it and put it on top of the fridge. It took me a year to drink those 3 bottles. My mother got very upset and said that my daughter would grow up to be an alcholic. I told her to back off. She than went to a 'non Christian' friend to get someone on her side. Than she used that 'even this non-Christian agrees with me (this persons child was 12, not 2, if that makes a difference). Did I break some parenting 'rule' that i didnt' know about. My mom just freaked and I think even cried, on behalf of 'what is best for my daughter'. Did I do something wrong. I mean beer in the fridge is accessable and at arms reach. This was ON TOP of the fridge, although granted, it is hard alchol...????

Answer 1

No you did nothing wrong. Your Mom is just trying to control you and tell you what to do in your own home.

OMG I cant believe the answers oother people put on here!!!! She is an adult and even if a parent is allowed to have a few drinks now and then and that WILL NOT turn her daughter into an alcholic!!! What do you think that every person who has a child should simply never drink for the whole 18 years of the childs life? Come on are all you Dads gonna give up the beer when watching sports? All you Mom's gonna never have a cocktail with your husband at the end of the day? Be real!!!

Answer 2

Please, get a reality check. There is nothing wrong with having an occasional drink. If you do not have a problem and keep your alcohol (wine, liquor & beer) out of reach of your children and never drive, use power tools or get stupid when drinking it isn't and shouldn't be a problem.

The best you can do is set a good example for your daughter. Live your life the way you would have her live hers...You can't turn anyone into an "alcholic". Alcholism is both a mental and physical illness! Tell your mom to mind her own business! Why having a "control freak" for a Grandmother could turn her into a "control freak"!!!!

Answer 3

I believe you should be entitled to have alcohol in your house or not. I frankly think that what your mother did, regardless of her being a pastors wife, was very rude and disrespectful. You are a grown woman and Im sure you would never endanger your child, much less make her an alcoholic by having it in your house. You do whatever you think is right and best. I have a four yr. old and do have alcohol in our house. But I carefully hide the bottles of wine, keeping it out of his reach. And when he asks about it I in turn tell him only grown-ups can drink it. Now when he gets older that is another story. I probably won't keep ANY alcohol around the house. I know how some kids like to get into that stuff when parents are gone or away.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with keeping alcohol in the home at a young age. I personally wont when my kids are at an age to want to do a taste test or Id lock it up. A bottle or a couple on a rack is fine. Its actually probably pretty good that your child sees the alcohol is ther and YOU arent always reaching for it, that you dont have to drink it just because its there. Theres nothing wrong with drinking, I would never suggest being an alcoholic, especially with children, theres a difference between having a drink a night or a drink now and then and getting sloshed. Your mom is meddling and is in the wrong. Your the mom and your doing a great job! BTW, seems insulting that she used her non christian freind and than stating "even she" as if her morals are usually less than acceptable.

Answer 5

You did well in standing up for yourself. Always remember - YOU are the parent. Follow your instincts.

From one parent to another, I always have a bottle of vodka in my freezer. It takes me more than a year to drink that single bottle, and my daughter is well aware that it's there. She's nearly 8 now, and I've been very clear with her about the fact that it's an adult drink. She doesn't question it, and doesn't think anything odd about it.

From the child of an alcoholic ... I can say this: there is a *huge* difference between seeing your parent having a bottle or two of alcohol around for the occasional sip, and seeing your parent with a jug of whiskey that they must replace on a weekly basis.

If you want a more "technical" viewpoint, I've included a link that gives you a *ton* of info on parenting and alcohol and all the different things that can arise. Then, you can show these papers to your mom and possibly (unlikely) get her to back off ... if she doesn't, just keep in mind that you're doing the best you can and don't have to feel bad because of someone else's judgemental attitude.

Answer 6

Go online and do some reasearch. I do not believe that there is a big correlation between having some alcohol in the house being the sole reason a child would become an alcoholic. I quickly scanned this article and no where did it mention anything like that. Do some more searches, print out what you find and show it to your mother. She will more than likely have an argument that is 'impossible' to argue against, but at least you have something concrete and factual. You also might want to check out this book, "How to Win an Arguement" by Michael A Gilbert.

Answer 7

I think American youth has such a fascination with alcohol because in a lot of ways, it is still so taboo. My parents always had liquor in the house when I was growing up and I've never developed a problem of any kind with alcohol. As a matter of fact, I barely drink. As long as you are not drinking to the point of extreme drunkenness or drinking with your morning oatmeal, you are merely exercising your right as an adult to have an occasional drink . If your daughter sees you drinking alcohol in a responsible manner (which it seems you do), then I can't see the problem with it at all. Tell your mother to back the hell off because you are not being irresponsible or immature.

Answer 8

Overbearing is what you forgot to call her.
No rules were broken. We have alcohol in our home and it is up high in a cupboard. We have a wine rack that does sometimes even have wine in it.
There is nothing wrong with having alcohol in your home. You sound like a very responsible parent and not a raging alcoholic.
There are cleaning supplies that are probably more accessible and dangerous around your home than a bottle of vodka on top of the fridge.

Answer 9

1) Does the alcohol effect your ability to take care of your child(ren)
2) Does the alcohol effect your relationship with your spouse
3) Do other people comment on how much you drink (like your spouse, friends, etc)

If your alcohol consumption isn't impacting your life then it isn't a problem. If it is, then you should probably cut back.

Personally I rarely drink but then again I have been breastfeeding, now I am breastfeeding and pregnant. But I don't have a problem with drinking per se.

On a side note you shouldn't keep alcohol on top of the fridge it is hot up there and bad for the alcohol.

Answer 10

Oh my. your mother was over reacting. I keep alcohol in my fridge. And my baby is only 2 moths old!! I don't drink it (beer is not my favorite. Its my fiances) In fact, i went out to the bar just last friday while my fiance stayed home with our son.

Besides, you had the wine rack ON TOP of the fridge, not on the floor where your child could get into it.

Do not feel bad.