I received a baby shower invitation, but cannot attend. The shower is for my cousin and We are close, practically sisters. The shower is being held in her home state, which is across the country from where I live (WA State to FL state), So, I will not be able to attend.
I do want to get a gift, if not lots of gifts for her and the baby. I am confused about what to do. I was going to send the gifts directly to her home, but now I am wondering If etiquette says I should send them to the baby shower location? If I send the gifts directly to her home, should I send a card or something else to the baby shower location to acknowldege the fact that I received the invitation but could not attend? When do I send the gifts? Will it be ok to send them after the shower, or should I send them before the shower so that she will have them for the shower... I'm all confused! Any advise or input?
2007-06-12 05:04:40 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If it is a surprise shower, then either send the gift to the shower location or wait until after the shower and send the gift to her home and call her later to tell her that you are sorry you were not able to attend. If the party is not a surprise, then send the gift to her house whenever, and call her to tell her that you are sorry you will not be able to make it. If it will be a large shower, then sending it to her home (surprise or not) is the best bet. As much as I loved all 5 of my baby showers, the difficult thing was figuring out how to get all of the wonderful gifts back home after the shower, as neither me nor my husband were driving large cars at the time. Going home from my church shower we ended up not being able to see out of the back window of our car.
2007-06-12 05:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by wendy08010 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not so complicated. Find out who is hosting the event. Get their number, call them and tell you them you won't be attending. Then talk to your cousin and apologize for not being able to come. Tell her you're sending her a gift. If she wants it before the shower, send it either to the host or your cousin. I would send it before so she can open it at the shower. Get a really nice card or write a personal letter if you are that close and say, "I wish I could be with you and hope this makes up for my absence. See you soon!" or something to that effect. I'm sure she'll understand and it will all work out just fine.
2007-06-12 07:36:30 · answer #2 · answered by Lou Lou 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the shower is a surprise, it would be very nice to send the gifts ahead of time to a close relative that will be attending who can bring them to the shower for you. It would also be nice if you include a note saying how you wished you could be there.
Or, you could wait and send a gift after the shower directly to her.
If the shower is not a surprise, you can send the gift to her with a nice note at anytime.
Send one nice shower gift and then send another gift after the baby is born if you really want to "shower" her with gifts! (yes, pun intended....)
2007-06-12 06:58:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really is no right or wrong way to do a shower. Some people feel its just nice to get together and open cute gifts and others like to make sure the Mom gets exactly what she needs and organizes a donation for a large gift, and then there are those who feel it impolite to ask for certain things or gifts. Trust me what ever you get will be ooooddd and ahhhhed. A nice soft pink blanket is nice with a rattle or small toy tied on top is good. A cute little dress that is for down the line like 12month size is always nice because sometimes you get alot of things for the infant size only. If this is her first maybe you could get all the different things you need to child prove the house would be nice. I use to like to get learning toy of some sort too. It will be fun and you will be amazed at what all everyone gets,just enjoy and celebrate.
2016-04-01 03:36:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the invite asks for a response to the hostess, then do that for sure. If it does not, call the cousin and let her know you got the invite but can't come. Just simply ask her what she would prefer on the gifts. She may have a definite opinion; she may not want them sent to the shower so that she doesn't then have to lug them home!
There is no etiquette on where to send them, really, so you can't go wrong either way!
2007-06-12 11:00:47 · answer #5 · answered by valschmal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are not attending, you may send the gift before or after the shower. I suggest sending the gift to her house. You could send a gift by buying online from Amazon, Ebay or Red Envelope which will send them directly to her house..
2007-06-12 21:53:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you and your cousin are close, I am sure that she would understand that you may not be able to make it. As far as a gift goes you definately want to send one. I would send it too whoever is putting on the baby shower, this will be a nice surprise to her on that day! You said that you may want to send lots of stuff, but i would pick one thing (and a card) to send for the party, and send to rest directly to her, at a later time. Congratulations on the new member to the family, and good luck!
2007-06-12 05:13:10 · answer #7 · answered by April M 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Either mailing them directly to her or to the person throwing the shower is acceptable. Even though you can't be there for her shower, sending a gift lets her know that you care and are there in spirit.
2007-06-12 06:26:43 · answer #8 · answered by Angela C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) send a letter to the hostess of the party thanking her for the invitation but with your regrets
feel free to say how much you wish you could be there.
2) send a congratulations card to the expectant mother
and say something about how much you wish you could have come to her shower.
3) send the shower gifts to the expectant mothers home.
it will save her from lifting and carrying items more than she has to.
2007-06-12 05:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by Syberian 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF she does not know about the shower, I would get gifts and send them after the baby shower.
If she knows, go ahead and send them whenever you get the chance.
2007-06-12 05:41:35 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋