I keep seeing in Answers, brides being told to do anything they want for their weddings/receptions because "it's your day sweetie, no one else counts!" Is there anything a bride should pull back on, or does anything truly go; regardless of manners, taste, or consideration?
2007-06-12 04:48:04 · 20 answers · asked by danashelchan 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Please remember to take that phrase lightly...yes it is your day but think about the feelings of your family. My daughter was married 3 weeks ago and she took this phrase to seriously....we now don't have a relationship and it breaks my heart. Not only did I spend $57,000 trying to make her day perfect but it cost me a daughter because I couldn't live up to her standards. She has a 10 month old daughter that I now don't see because she turned into a bridezilla!! Please try and work with your parents and make your day special but without putting a strain on your relationship.
2007-06-12 05:08:29 · answer #1 · answered by Linda R 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
from what I've experienced so far the "I'm the Bride, that's why" power is like a wand to be wielded selectively...haha.
The reason you have a big wedding with all the stops is because you want to share your day with your loved ones: Your parents and those helping you plan are really wanting you to have the best day possible-even if their taste might not be so great, and even if it might seem that they want to take over: they just want to "show you off" their way. Bearing that in mind makes it easier to negotiate.
Only to a selfish bride does "anything go." It is all about compromise: just like a marriage.
That's the stress of being a bride and groom: figuring out how much input you allow others to have, and sorting out what you are firm about keeping, and what you're flexible about sacrificing power for.
This should be a fun time, and I think more fun is had when a bride is flexible, excited, and understanding...and I'm trying to be that bride...it isn't easy, of course, because you've got a vision, but it's definitely worth it.
2007-06-12 05:08:09 · answer #2 · answered by Constellation 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Since cleaning up the oil spill is actually protecting the people, it IS part of their Constitutional mandate. And IS supported by those who actually understand the Constitution and know what it is the Tea Party is all about. Which obviously excludes people who believe the concepts in your question. So, NO, we will not oppose the government helping to clean up the oil spill. It is part of their job. And should have been happening from the very beginning and not 35-45 days after the fact so that they could determine what spin to put on it. What is NOT part of their job is mandating that every American buy a product and creating a still undetermined sized humongous bureaucracy that they have no Constitutional basis to be involved with in the first place. I'd ask if you understood the difference but already know that you don't. Or won't.
2016-05-18 01:29:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings have a way of making some people temporarily insane! I think a wedding should be special and amazing and wonderful and all of that- but it does not excuse a person from using common sense, reason, and treating others with a little consideration. The "no one else counts" bit is ridiculous- these people are there to share in a day that's about love- not some drama over some detail that no one will remember in 6 months- (except the one that started the drama and is still pissed of course :) )
2007-06-12 05:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by ♥♥justme♥♥ 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can't stand that "it's YOUR day" stuff. It seems to give license to some brides to treat their friends and family like dirt. There is NEVER a day where this is acceptable. Also, I don't think very many brides understand that a reception is not all about them, it is their first attempt at hosting an event as a married couple, and the goal is not to make as much money as possible or whatever, the goal is to celebrate your new marriage and do it in a way that your friends and family are both happy for you and enjoy themselves in the process.
2007-06-12 05:27:05 · answer #5 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is sometimes. But those rules for sometimes should apply to us all. You can - though it's best not to - insult people. You can - though it's best not to - behave like a spoiled brat. And in doing so you can make your entire family and your friends not want to be around you or help you. But these statements should apply to everyone, getting married or not. So, the limitations come from what is considered "appropriate behavior" by society as a whole, though obviously we don't all agree. So, while you certainly don't have to, - no one can be forced to behave decently - it is best to follow the general rules for etiquette and common courtesy.
The "It's Your Day" philosophy should be more about not letting an overbearing or rude someone ruin what is suppose to be a very important day in your life. If you want to wear a red velvet dress instead a white one, don't let someone tell you you can't. Your wedding isn't just about you and your groom that's true, but it also isn't entirely about anyone else either. There's a difference between compromise and letting some use you as a doormat.
But quite a few brides would do well to remember, it's one day, and as long as the groom and the minister show up, it was a success, no matter what Aunt Prissy Knickers says or what "catastrophe" occurred.
2007-06-12 04:58:56 · answer #6 · answered by tnk3181979 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't think "anything goes" when it comes to a wedding being "your" day. Manners, taste and consideration towards the guests is all really important! Of course, things like colours, style of invites, type of flowers, etc, just go with your taste! But this is a party thrown for your guests as well, to celebrate the coming together of two families. Take into consideration some things your parents want, especially if they're paying! Although no need to invite 50 people they want to go if you're paying for it... ;o)
2007-06-13 03:15:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love this question for so many reasons.
You see literally hundred of questions on Answers abut how rude brides are these days, and how outrageous these Bridezillas are. It's so bad, there's a TV series devoted to their behavior - "Bridezillas" on WE TV.
And yet, we continue to tell these poor women over and over - "It's YOUR day! Do what you want! It's YOUR day!" and I don't think that anyone has stopped to consider that this "entitlement" attitude is precisely what's fueling this behavior (which I find to be completely disgusting). Besides, you can't get married without a partner -- it's just as much his wedding as it is yours.
Sure, he may not care whether the icing is buttercream or fondant, but it's a special day for him, too!!
Yes, it's your wedding day. I realize that. It's a special day. My wedding day was absolutely incredible. But the key to the phrase "wedding day" is in fact, the word "DAY."
There's NO REASON on this earth why these women can't make concessions to include family members in the ceremony (as attendants), or to allow moms or in-laws to be to help with the planning. Weddings are about families coming together - after all, isn't that what a marriage essentially is? Is it worth alienating your family over a centerpiece or a reading?
I swear on my life, NO ONE (NOT. ONE. PERSON.) will remember what your centerpieces looked like within a day. They won't remember what kind of flowers you had. Honestly, they won't remember your dress or how your bridesmaids wore their hair. Think about the last four weddings you went to. Can you recall any of that? It's just not worth it.
What people remember is that you were happy, you were surrounded by love and laughter. They remember good food, good music and good company. That's it.
So I say, stop the madness!! If you "have everything you need, and can't handle another plate or towel" then write on your reception cards "your presence is our gift." Stop asking for money. Stop demanding everyone cow-tow to you because you're the bride. It doesn't matter what happens. It is your wedding day, and it WILL be special, regardless.
Stop insisting that everything be "just so." Enjoy the day - it goes really, really fast! And BE NICE!
Whew. Thanks. I had to get it out.
2007-06-12 05:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by sylvia 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's a balance between making it an enjoyable day for yourself, and being a good host. On the one hand, everyone and their brother will have THEIR opinion on what YOU should or should not do at your wedding. You have no choice but to put your foot down at some point and say - this is how *WE* want to do things. But at the same time, you have to remember that you are still hosts, and all these people are your guests. So you have to try and do what any good host would do, and make sure that the guests enjoy themselves. This is why weddings are so darn stressful - this balancing act is NOT easy! :)
2007-06-12 06:41:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! No bride should do anything that would cause her friend or family any financial or emotional harm. Unfortunately, not many brides subscribe to that notion which is why you hear a lot about: "It's myyyy daaaayyyy!"
That's right. It's a day. One day out of many. And not even the most important one.
Bottom line, don't do anything that will make you cringe 10 years from now. That's my mantra for life.
2007-06-12 04:58:51 · answer #10 · answered by retropink 5 · 5⤊ 1⤋
It has a lot to do with greed. It's sick that people spend so much money on one party. Then, they expect their guests and wedding party to spend an arm and a leg on multiple gifts (shower, bachelor/ette party, wedding), clothes, hair, etc. I know one bridezilla who, years after the wedding, counts her friends based on the amount they spent on her gifts. All the drama and family feuds are so terrible, I am debating eloping and putting my wedding money towards a down payment on a house! Why should I go into debt, so I can come out with a bunch of people snubbing me for the millions of reasons that people do when a wedding is being planned? I think all the commercialism and social expectations put a terrible strain on new marriages.
2007-06-12 05:27:18 · answer #11 · answered by lei 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋