Does No One Respect This Tradition.....?

Question

I keep seeing all these questions about moving out at 22 b/c "you're an adult" You can be an adult by law all you want. But, if you don't have the financial backing, than your screwed. Why leave home at 22 to incure debt? It's just stupid. It doesn't build character or hard work. It just breaks down the soul when you're 30 and realize you don't have anything. You pay rent and don't own a home. I'm sorry, but I think its more sad to be over 30 and paying rent, then is it to be 24 and living at home. The first seems much sadder, the second more forgivable.

What do people think? In this day and age, with our economy and gas prices at $3.50 a gallon, isn't it better to be 24, debt free and living at home, than moving out a getting into debt. America has a huge debt problem, yet people think moving out to learn financial responsiblity and build character are more important.

My advice is to go to school, get a good job, save up for 2 year or so OR pay off

their debts, especially those student loans and than move out. People say, age is just a number. But, it doesn't seem to apply to this situation.

Do you think people who kick their kids out to "teach" them something, with no money are doing my a disservice?

I'm 23 and work full-time. But, I'm also in horrible debt. I thought I could handle living on my own. I was wrong. My parents warned me and I didn't listen. I wish I had. I would probably have a good 5K in the bank, instead of $20.

My parents invited me back home and they don't support me. I help out financially. It's just me and my mom. She tells me she wants me to move out when I get married. She has years of debt, that I will inherit. She also thinks it's horrible that people let their kids leave.

Even as an adult, a parent should guide their child. Guiding them into debt is like parents who feed their children fatty foods. You're only contributing, teaching and encouraging bad habits.

Answer 1

My daughter is 22 and has moved back home. I love it. She is working full time and going to school full time. When she first moved back she had a TON of debt. We pay all of her daily expenses (food, utilities, house payment etc.) and she only has to pay on her debt. By the time she moves out after Graduation she will be debt free and have enough in the back to put a down payment on a house! I think all kids should live at home while going to college if it is possible..save up the money because life is hard enough.

Answer 2

You're totally right. The problem is most people aren't using their time at home with mom/dad to save up or plan for a debt-free future. Most stay home and mooch off mom/dad while still incuring debt, being lazy and a burden. I think you have the right idea though. And as matter of fact, what you are doing, I saw frequently happening in Poland, Czech/Slovak Republics, where the children staying home, going to school, working, saving up to get a place of their own but being a productive, contributing member of their parent's household. Now that's honorable. However, don't be too hard on the people who got out early and tried. I 'had' to be one of those people after high school but was smart enough to discreetly rent a storage facility a year prior and start buying/collecting household items for when I left home. I got into a little debt but did extra work to pay it off quickly. I think if you have a hard work ethic and some smarts about you, you can make it work either way.

Answer 3

Your parent might be in debt from raising you and paying your way through college. If you are 24 and living at home, you should be paying rent to your parents and helping them pay the bills. Take the financial responsibility for your actions. If not you are just causing your parent so incur more debt instead of saving for their retirement.

As for being 30 and paying rent, Not everyone makes enough money to buy a house. Some places do not have the room for everyone to own a home. Try living in New York City for example.

Answer 4

Sorry but I can't go with you on this one.

Regardless of who you are or how old you are someone has to pay the bills. When you are an adult it is time to go and make your own way. I left at 18 and I am sure it helped me more than hurt. BTW when gasoline went from 20 cents to 80 cents a gallon in a very short time we almost starved. That jump was 400% and really cramped a career military family. Especially since we were being held to 2 to 3% raises by the Carter administration while inflation was running 16 to 18% This last increase in gasoline was what; 50%?

Think about it, who should pay your bills?
[HINT]: It's not your parents when you are over 18.

Answer 5

It would be nice if kids at 18 use that time to mature and get ready to deal with the world but a lot don't and that true for 18-22 year olds living at home and 30 year olds with bad debt. Sometimes parents see children leaving the nest on their own as a way to get a child to sink or swim in the real world. Right or wrong, tradition has been for a boy to leave the home and "seek his fortune." Yeah he gets his bumps and bruises out here but he learns and adapts.

Now you're advocating stay at home and let your parents take care of you. That might make you feel better in the short run but ultimately, good or bad, you need to take that step outside. The only way you grow is to walk far out of your comfort zone and learn to adapt.

Answer 6

Some people find it embrassing to be around 24 or so and still living with your parents. I'm 17 and have older siblings (19, 22, and 24) who are dying to get out. I admit I do too, but not to live on my own. Just with some friends and only for the summer. At that age, they're saying, 'I'm grown and I need to act like it' so moving out seems to them a big step to being an adult rather than having a decent job thats stable

Answer 7

My wife and I are in our late 50's and all of our kids have come back home, some with spouses, after graduating college. We understood why, and our rules were quite simple, help with the chores around the house, do your own laundry, help pay for food and utilities and be repectful of others. All 3 came back and stayed on average 3 years.

I see your point and it is a good one, we recognized it a few years ago, especially the debt free part and wanted to give our kids the opportunity to get out from under and they did.

Answer 8

You have some good points there. I actually have strong positive feelings about extended familial living situations. I think living at home is fine if your parents dont mind.
I dont think its sad to be 30 and paying rent though. Everyone has a different story and a different life to live.
Myself, I was out of the house a week after I graduated, and yes its very tough.
Another option is to have roommates. You can live dirt cheap in rented house with a group of people.

Answer 9

Now that depends directly on how your parents feel about it. Can they afford to have you at home. Are you contributing to the household? I'm sorry but if you are staying at home just to avoid debt you are fighting a losing battle. You will still need a car, still have to pay your own insurance still have to pay $3.50 a gallon. The only way to stay debt free is to pay cash for everything and I dont know if you are making that much money.

Answer 10

you hit the nail on the head, and i am in that very position right now. moved out at 19 and now im 30 trying to save up for a home and go back to school while working full time. It is very difficult, but its human nature to desire that freedom at a young age. I know i would be better off financially if i had stayed at home, but i have had experiences this way that i would not trade in for anything. Gotta take the good with the bad i suppose.