Parents, how do you feel about helping your children financially?

Answer 1

I cannot believe some of these answers. This is why people should at least have to take a class to have children. From the majority of answers here you get the feeling that a child is a toy with a lifespan of 18 or so years.

Parenting is a lifetime commitment in my opinion. I feel great about helping my children as well as the children of anyone else where I am able. I don't believe in "tough love". I think it is a cop out for those who are just too selfish to admit that they don't enjoy sharing.

If a person raises a child and that child is not yet prepared to completely care for themselves by age 18, then there is an equal responsibility for the people who were supposed to raising the child to become an adult. One size does not fit all. We aren't raising crops or cattle here, but human beings. Human beings develop at different rates.

So, if the child is lacking in confidence or just not smart enough to get into school, someone is going to kick that child to the curb because he/she hasn't matured yet? This is cruel and irresponsible in my opinion. Children with learning disabilities are more in need of help than those who are at the top of the class, but people are saying they only want to reward the winners and let the weakest learn to fend for themselves. So much for the theory of human evolution.

The weakest need the most help because the world is already going to reward the cream of the crop. This is just not a private issue as it effects us all. When the parent shrugs off a child in need, that child might very well turn to crime, drugs, or other unhealthy lifestyles that end up costing society a heck of a lot more in the way or prisons and rehabilitation centers. The loss of potential can not be measured financially.

I am also quite aware that people are very fixed in their own chosen style of parenting. Those who are harsh will probably taste the same some day, if what comes around goes around. Or if they are judged by the same measure they use to judge their own children.

As for me and mine, I will continue to share finances with my children as well as my parents. I will never give up on teaching them, giving them the tools to make it on their own. I will not turn away my children to the streets, no matter how old they are. When they fall down I will help them get up again and again. It isn't the easy way out, but I don't have any trouble sleeping at night.

Answer 2

Help is dependent on the situation. My parents assisted me on a few occasions when I first got out of college. They helped financially by giving me one of their old vehicles and a few times financially (my first job didn't exactly pay that well but the economy at the time wasn't exactly strong so I took what I could get - an entry level software programmer). My parents also had similar help from their parents when they started their lives. I will do the same for my two children too. The only reason I would see to withhold money from them is if they are truly wasting it. If I thought they were buying expensive items (clothing, computers, cars, etc...) but couldn't pay their utility or rent, I'd have to stress that they are living beyond their means and that I'm not going to support it. If they are working hard and within their means and something unexpected happens (car breaks down, appliance dies, etc...), sure I'll help.

From the day my children were born, they are my responsibility in the world. I'll do what I can to help them, which doesn't necessarily mean giving them money if a dose of reality is what they need. My children are both under 16 though so at this point they are fully dependent on my wife and me.

Answer 3

Well I am going to answer this from my perspective as a child. I do help out with some of the bills etc...when I can (between jobs & college). I also help out around the house. When I was younger and in High School I helped out around the house and had a job during the summer to help out with groceries and etc (since my Mom is a teacher). But I do not agree with how some parents just give their children a free ride, I see parents giving kids brand new cars, paying for their insurance and etc. Is it any wonder that their is so much debt in america and kids are comming back home and mooching off their parents after college and not getting jobs.
My parents have never given my brother or I a free ride and I am thankful for that because we both have a good work ethic and appreciate earning our own money and paying for things ourselves it has also taught us to be responsible and how to mannage our money.

Answer 4

It depends on the child's age....I totally believe once a child is able to have an after school job they should...and they should be saving that money and buying some of their items with that money....Either they give up their allowance or they will be paying for the new clothes or things they want.

When child graduates I do not believe it is my job to pay for their college education....First off I cannot and second I had to pay my own way and I feel I was a better student for it...I also had a lot more job experience when I was done getting my education.

I see too many kids get free hand outs from their parents and then blow off school or just do not study...they also have no really life experience. I also have worked for bosses who went to college and did not have a job till they were placed as a director of a day care where I was working...they had no idea what it was like to work from ground level...they also could not understand why the high school students we had hired could not work more hours...and why can we not call them at the school to ask them to come in to work early.

I will help my kids if I see they are saving and working for their education....but I do not believe it is my job to go broke putting my kids through school...I feel it is beneficial to all of us if kids have to pay their way.

Answer 5

I do not have children, but I am 23 year old female and my parents did a fantastic job in the way of money. I have worked since I was 16 and I paid my own way through college, mostly loans. I loved college and wasn't in a real rush to leave but to afford It I worked hard to graduate in 4 years, instead of the standard 5-7 now lol. I just recently purchased my first home all by myself. I learned the value of the dollar and hard work. My parents every now and then would help out if I really needed it, but beyond that I learned I was responsible for myself and my own credit. Now I have a good job and a house. I don't know very many of my friends/peers my age who can say the same. Especially the ones mommy and daddy gave/gives them there salary for the month and they blow it all. So my advice is help your kids out when they really need it, but please don't be those parents who give there kids money all the time. It isn't more annoying to go shopping with someone in college, out of college than a kid whose parents foot the bill for everything.

Answer 6

I adore my children... and would do just about anything for them. Including providing financial support - when needed. My oldest will soon be 22 and I was proud of the fact that I could help him through college. But he understood he also had to help by working part-time (it's good experience). He's now on his own making his way through the world, and in an emergency, I'd be there for him in a second. The same will holds true for my daughter. I didn't have parents to help me out when I was there age (emotionally or financially). That's not something I want my own kids to experience. At the same time, I only have so much money so it's not like I'll spoil them in anyway (lol).

Answer 7

Well, my children are still young at the moment,oldest is 13. But this is my feeling on the subject. I believe that when my children want something they should have to work to earn it. They have chores that are to be done weekly some daily and they earn an allowance. Depending on the amount of the item and what it is, their father and I may help pay for it. I also feel that once they are old enough and out on their own they are responsible for their financial affairs. If they are in a jam, have lost a job or something along that line we will I am sure help them. But if they choose to not work, quit their job, and aren't trying at all then they have to suffer the consequences of their actions.

Answer 8

I don't mind from time to time. But I ask them so many questions, that they don't want to ask me, which is good. If I see them with their backs to the financial wall and all their efforts have failed I will help them. But they know that this is not going to be something they can depend on from me. I want to enjoy my money and the fruits of MY labors too. I did without many things when they were growing up, so that they could have a better life. That was my choice. I don't regret that in any way.
They are grown now. It's my turn, I enjoy all of my $$. I buy things that I want as well need. The days of sacrifices, and doing without, are over, I've more than earned this. My children understand this, and are looking forward to their children growing up and being independant, or so they tell me. I do however spend insane amounts of money on my grandchildren. lol

Answer 9

Well, I don't have children of my own, but this is how I was reared. My grandparents owned a store until I was age 10, and I took snacks to school. I could keep the revenue from whatever I sold. The only stipulations were that I couldn't sell while the class was going on, so that I didn't disturb people and whatever I ate, I had to pay for. So we kept a tally of what I carried to school with me and I charged the same prices as our store. When I got home, we counted my money and if everything balanced out, I got to keep all the money, that way I could buy the things I wanted and budget myself accordingly. Not only did this teach me financial responsibility, I also make better choices regarding food. I hardly ever eat snack foods because it feels like I'm dipping into my merchandise.

Moral of the story: Teaching your children the value of money with work and healthy habits benefits them for a lifetime.

Answer 10

We have helped our children get a good education they have been working and have earned a Masters in their fields. and we now have two Grands. They have not needed financial help, have been on their own in their homes and financially self sufficient . We gift them at their Birthdays and some special occasions. One has taken a buy out recently, however the spouse is now employed and they are able to handle it, financially. It would be difficult for us to help them financially, we need to do a lot of remodeling and since retirement our finances would not stretch far enough for that. Unless one is well off, I do not see the possibility. Delicate balance as well, or the children can be turned into free loaders.

Answer 11

I think cutting your kid off from the money flow can be a risky move for any parent but it can pay off. However I wouldnt let a child doing already harmful stuff with your money keep on keepin on obvs... I just think that some children will take it that you cut off money supply = you dont love them or are not willing to give them support in other ways. Honestly I dont see any reason why you shouldnt support your child with any means you have possible within reason to better there life. I mean why exactly did you become a parent in the first place? Bringing someone into this world is a big deal believe it... And with that comes the responsiblity of teaching that child the value of money and if they dont learn it by the time they are able to spend it.... Its honestly your mistake not the childs....