My best (male) friend started going out with a stripper. Now, not being a prude and selling sex toys as a side job (see? I SWEAR I'm not a prude. I DO get the "stripper" allure) I don't get it when you look at the baggage. She's 8 years younger (okay, a plus to men) but:
Married with a hubby in Iraq
Has four, yes FOUR, children
The youngest baby is from a different daddy than the soldier daddy
Gets my friend to babysit every weekend while she strips and lives with him on the weekend.
From her perspective, she's lucked out. A guy with a good job who doesn't mind her situation. But for me, on the outside? It sounds like a huge trainwreck. So my question is, Is the "stripper" thing enough to balance the other stuff? And, after a while wouldn't the "my girlfriend gives lapdances to other men" thing start to make you jealous?
Do I just not get this because I'm a woman?
2007-06-12 04:16:48 · 29 answers · asked by Karen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Of course, we don't know what your guy friend is like, but let me take a guess here.
A lot of men are afraid of commitment, which means they stay away from women who fit their image of what would make a good partner/wife, and if they meet one of them, they run like hell pretty quickly.
This woman is none of that. She is married to someone else (a soldier, no less!), so she is not looking to get your friend into marriage. And she is, ahem, "in touch with her sexuality," so in bed she is probably meeting his dreams as well as his needs. So, he has to put up with her kids while she works. He probably thinks this is a good deal, because he has no emotional investment in the relationship.
None of this is good. and I certainly don't approve. But I have seen enough men--and enough overaged boys--to have a strong feeling that this is a relationship built on her convenience and his fantasies. Too bad for both of them.
Good luck!!
2007-06-12 04:24:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you--I have a couple friends in similar situations. One friend married a stripper. It doesn't work out. Eventually guys get really fed up with everyone getting to see/touch/be aroused by what should be exclusively "their property". That marriage didn't work out.
I have another friend dating a married girl. Stripper or not, dating someone who is married is dumb. Women do it b/c somewhere our DNA has warped into believing he *really is* going to divorce his wife for us. Men do it b/c that way they don't have a woman saying "when will we get married" or "why aren't you committed to this relationship". Its the best of all worlds.
She is separated but not moving forward with the divorce. It's perfect b/c he knows he would never marry this chick. If he wants to go to Vegas for a w/e with the boys--he can do whatever he wants b/c they aren't exclusive. And the married woman can't say anything b/c she is the one who MADE it non-exclusive. My friend is the type who will never settle down. It's just not in him.
Men like free booty. And this girl is easy. Of course thats an appeal. She has a hot body--which is an appeal. The 4 kids would be a down side *IF* he were actually contemplating marriage with this stripper. He has the best of all worlds. Don't worry--if he decides that he is ready to settle down he will dump the stripper for a real woman. Or the sex will stop being so frequent and he will decide the free babysitting is more often than the benefit and not worth the "trade." But come on--he is a man. A good woman shows up naked and brings beer. This one does both!
2007-06-12 04:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by phantom_of_valkyrie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, am afraid for your friend relationship with a stripper. Strippers also do change, but he cant wait for the river to dry since nothing is making it dry soon.
One, the idea of relating with a stripper is a sad thing that wil deform unconsiously his character or mental image. He may find himself going for strippers in the longrun and end up not having a worthy relationship. He currently shares his life with all the man the girl is sharing sex withand has in the past.A common old theory that once you are joined to a woman through sex you are one applies here, so he needs a mental cleansing or therapy, thi will help him know why he is in it.
Your efforts of talking him out of this if is done through anger will be reinforcing his act, also why am for therapy , is because it will help to deal with the root issues that you and him plus others arent seeing, it will help from felling off the leaves and branches.
I wish you the best in your task, be like the good samaritan, he is felled by a stripper and he needs someone who is you to take him out of what he is in both physically, emotionally and spiritualy, and you will have impacted positively on his fuuture and others he will be a good referrence story to.
I respect you for every other positive step you are going to take. God bless you
2007-06-12 04:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by enc e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't give a flying freak if someone has been to a strip club a couple of times in their life, especially for a party. I've been to strip clubs and given men some bills my own self. It's the people who go to strip clubs regularly that are odd. I would think it was odd if a woman or a man went to strip clubs a lot. Sure, it was fun for me to see some very sexy guys, but would I pay to do that every week? Or even every month? If I did, I would think most men would wonder where my priorities were.
2016-05-18 01:18:32 · answer #4 · answered by ingrid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy who does this usually has no idea what he's in for if he hangs with her. She has no scruples, no intention of doing anything but make life easier for herself by taking advantage of others. Most strippers have that kind of mind set and are only out for what they can get from as many guys as they can. She's probably even pulling tricks on the side at or near the club she works at when she's not with him. You need to knock some sense into your friend's head and get him off the thing about being involved with such a younger woman.
2007-06-12 04:24:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow no kidding that is a lot of baggage. I think he knows it is not going anywhere but perhaps the sex is just really good. Poor guy, many a man has lost his way in the bermuda triangle LOL. It depends on the person but no that wouldn't be enough for me to balance the other stuff.
2007-06-12 04:23:51 · answer #6 · answered by Joseph 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore the jerks telling you that it's your problem. I'd guess she's good at charming / manipulating men. And your friend finds her physically attractive. Some guys don't think about or apply logic to their decisions in relationships. They act first and think later. You could try to point out to him that it's totally immoral to be with a married woman. How would he feel if he were the cuckolded husband? But, love is stupid. It won't last forever, but it could last many years. Sorry that your friend is acting like an idiot.
2007-06-12 04:28:13 · answer #7 · answered by L T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*embarassed* I have to admit when I was 21 I dated a stripper also. It's probably like women dating bad boys. You know you're never going to have a serious relationship but like a roller coaster you stay on the ride until it ends.
Thankfully I didn't do any babysitting and at least she isn't lying to him about anything.
2007-06-12 04:21:56 · answer #8 · answered by elurle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it doesn't matter about what job she holds, as long as she pays the bills and is a good mother to her kids. But her situation is a train-wreck-but she is just trying to survive in this world, but strippers do lose respect from me if they are cheating on their b/f/husband and this isn't good for her children either.
2007-06-12 04:29:15 · answer #9 · answered by heathermichelle9 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually ive dated a stripper before, the fact that they are a stripper is more of a problem then just about everything else in most cases excluding this one naturally, i feel bad for your friend because hes gonna be in for a severe heartbreak.
2007-06-12 04:19:58 · answer #10 · answered by specialistics 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋