my sister is bipolar and i have recently stopped all contact with her. she started using drugs and being very?

Question

mean and abusive. she gave her son to me and i kept him for 4 months because she was going crazy she said with him. well she then would come over and start talking all normal then she would just freak out and start attacking me physically and verbally. she threatened to kill me and started talking about killing people and her son and guns. i had to physically fight her to get her to not leave with her son because she was talking about hurting people and i was just so scarred she would hurt him. well after this happened my family thought i was wrong for keeping her from her son and they said they would have acted the same way if i did this to them. but she was acting this way before that is why i did this. but anyways she now has her son back and is still on drugs and he is constently missing school and i am afraid for him. my family tells me to stay out of it that they will handle it but they are only falling for her lies. well she started breaking in to my house when i wasn't home

well i have threatened to call the police if she sets foot on my property again. and i refuse to have any contact with her. my other sister and parents think that i am wrong for this they think that she is my sister and i should stick by her no matter what. but should i . when i have anything to do with her i get so stressed out and it causes problems between me and my husband. not to mention that i don't feel safe because she is always attacking me. we can't even sit down for five minutes without her freaking out and threatening to kill me. her ex husband had to pull her off of me while she was freaking out and told me she would kill me. she refuses to stay on her meds. we used to be so so close but now she just freaks out and i just don't know what to do. i have been told that i am a horrible person for abandoning her but that comes from family that is hundreds of miles away and only talk to her on the phone. what do yall think i should be doing.

her son is adopted she took him away from my step sister in law when he was a baby because she was not taking care of him. he also has downsyndrome. will he be able to stay with me or will they send him back to his biological family????

Answer 1

Hi:

I am sorry you are going thru such a hard time with your sister. It is hard and painful. I have Bipolar also and it is a siease that is not to be taken lightly.

Please protect yourself by calling the police and report her. No one should sit back and be abused and tolerate it family member or not and mental illness or not. She needs to be reported. And you need to protect yourself at all times.

If she will not seek help on her own or by the recommendations of others, then possibly and IEA may be the action to make her get the help she needs. An IEA is an Emergency Involuntary Admission. She will have no choice in the matter at all.

Both your sister and her son need psychiatric help. If you family is beielving her lies and getting all caught up in the pitty me act, and if you feel you can do this, then by all means go for it. Not only will you be saving her, but her son, yourself and others. Its a big responsibility so please make sure you have support.

If at any time you need support, want to talk, need a shoulder to cry on (I have 2 shoulders you can have), contact me, my info is in my profile please use it at any time and I will do my best for you. But please remember, you can't take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first.

I'll keep you in my prayers

Be safe and be well,

Answer 2

Please for the sake of the child call the Department of children's services where you are. If they check on her and see she is not properly caring for her son you will be able to get temporary custody. If she is breaking into your home and you can prove it by all means call the police. Your sister is not stable. You can not call unless she is a threat to herself or others. If she is ever again making threats to herself or anyone else call 911 immediately. At least that way an assessment will be done at the hospital and buy you some time. If this little boy has Downs Syndrome he needs your protection even more. I truly feel for your situation and hope you have the strength to follow through. You would absolutely be doing the right thing for her and her son.

A lot of Bipolar people self medicate with drugs and alcohol. She is trying to cope in the wrong way. Another way to wake her up is if she is using and you know it you can call the police at that time also. I know you have cut off contact but, believe me bipolars never go far and she will be bothering you soon enough. Educate yourself and ask questions even if you need to seek temporary therapy for yourself. It really will help you get stronger too.

I am Bipolar and have in the past put my children at risk. I am not proud. Fortunately with many years of therapy and medications I am no longer the person I once was. I now have a good job with a Mental Health Organization that I truly love. You can help her get to that place too by making her responsible for her actions.

BTW: You can not be held accountable for any of her actions legally or financially. That is not an issue here. You might feel guilty but, you are not responsible in any way for anothers actions.
Best of Luck to you, I know it will not be easy!

Answer 3

to begin with. should you knew she was once an addict then why might you mortgage her $500? Bipolar or now not she has a few disorders. I say you inform her to get support after which might be you'll be able to have a few form of a dating and also you propose to the relaxation of the loved ones to do the identical. It appears like she is an addict now not bipolar. She demands support. She should be inclined regardless that. Offer her your help and categorical how principal it's for her to get blank. If she chosses to not then that's a determination she has made. There is not anything you'll be able to do however to deliver on together with your existence and make the choices which will first-class advantage you. Rehab for her might be? Good Luck! I wish it really works out.

Answer 4

Welcome to the world of mental illness.

She put you in her business when she gave her son to you, realizing at the time there was something wrong with her.
If you do not care what your family thinks, call the children protective services. It sounds as if someone needs to step in if not for her, for the kid of hers.
bipolar like other mental illness is nothing to mess around with, specially if your sister is not taking her drugs.....the drugs from the doctor.

Good luck sounds as if this is a real mess, remember your sister has a mental illness. Mental illness's run in families.

As per your update~you family is not even around the situation so how do they know how bad it has truly gotten? You as a sister can have her admitted into the mental hospital. Sometimes it is the best thing you can do for her as a sister.
Keep yourself together through all this and call the authorities, good luck!

Answer 5

You need to call the police and notify them of the situation and possible get a no contact order in place. Then tell them about her son and the possible abuse. They will check that out promptly and then ask the court for an immediate emergency custody hearing. This child is in danger and I think that you are very admirable for caring so much. My sister is also bipolar and it has been many years of fighting and anger, but there is help out there for family members so that you can learn how to deal with her....I hope this helps..Good Luck!

Answer 6

YOU need to get some sort of professional help yourself. You've set up a cycle of abuse between your sister and yourself and it sounds as if your family is feeding into it.

Dealing with mentally disabled family members (drugs or psych issues) is draining and damaging for youself and your husband. She's unstable and NOT in control. That means YOU have to be the one in control. It's very hard and painful.
Go to a psychiatrist. It will give you a fresh and uncluttered perspective on what you need to do.

You have so many options for dealing with this legally. The fact that you won't take action is tied into your guilt. Things will only get worse as they are, and the kid (and you and your husband, who sounds like a saint, as well as a bit of a sap) will be hurt. Try to remember that as awful as contacting the authorities sounds, in the long run, you'll all be better off.

Wouldn't you like to see your sister off drugs, in a job, taking care of her kid? It won't happen unless you take steps.

Here's another thought. If your sister hurts someone/ does some damage somewhere. YOU and YOUR FAMILY can be held legally (civil court ie; financally responsible) for her actions if it can be shown you were aware of her problem and didn't take appropriate steps. So you all could end up paying 10's of thousands of dollars from a judgement against you for HER actions. Tell that to your family and see how they like it. Although they sound like they're in total denial.

Answer 7

My Daughter is 22 and also Bi-Polar. When she does not take her Medicine, she like your sister becomes aggressive and violent. She has a 4 year old son that my X Husband has been raising. Last week my Daughter rented an apartment and notified her Dad, she was taking her Son with her. her Dad and I are very worried that she will have one of her attacks and take it out on her Son. He is looking into the Legal aspects of getting Full Custody of the Child and I am supporting him. Your Family obviously have not seen her when she goes NutZ. You stand your ground and do what is right for her son. He has no one else to do that for him..I wish you Luck.

Answer 8

When you state that she is on drugs do you mean medication or do you mean illegal substances? I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and at the time of my diagnosis was heavily using cocaine . When I quit using Cocaine "mysteriously" My bipolar behavior disappeared. Giving me the belief that my "disorder" was directly related to using drugs. When I was "using" my behavior was eratic,to say the least,I had a very short temper and an even shorter attention span.(which doctors tried to say it was ADHD)If you do not know how cocaine affects the brain I will give the the quick summary. Cocaine causes the brain to accelerate the production of dopamine when the user is coming down off of the cocaine "high" the brains output of dopamine is hampered because it was working "overtime" to increase dopamine when the person was using. Thus the "high" now becomes a "low" . And it causes mood swings and all things associated with the brains decreased output of the dopamine.And because of the information I just gave you cocaine is a mentally addicting drug. Being that it also affects ones coping skills. Now if your family member is using METH. That is a whole otherr ball of wax. There is a 92% relapse rate and the horror stories that I have heard people tell and have seen are unbelieveable.

If her son is in danger becaiuse of being in an "unstable" enviornment it is your duty not only to the boys mother but the poor child involved. It will force her to make a decision.
1. Is it more important to continue using and have a pity party for myself and complain about my miserable life.
2. Quit using drugs and realize that her son is the MOST IMPORTANT thing in her life and that he needs his mother to be a mother.

My mother chose the first answer and it affected me for a very very long time.(25 years)Causing me(I do not blame her,BTW) to follow the same path have a fear of commitment.And a fear of accepting responsibility and having people count on me.

Please help that poor boy. He can not help himself. And it SHOCKS me that your other family members do not feel the immediate need to get "involved".AS far as your family "falling for her lies" they are totally enabling her and they KNOW the truth but are turning a blind eye.In hopes that she will pull out of her tailspin on her own. I can tell you from personal experience she won't until it is forced on her one way or another.
My uncle was just like you in trying to help me when I was a kid (and too young to understand) . And I am eternally thankful to him for him doing what he did for me.

So if anything know that when your nephew is older he will understand what and why you HAD to do what you are diong /done. And he ,too , will be greatful for getting him out of a volitale messed up situation.
It got so bad that my mom was taking me to the bars with her(I was 7 years old at the time) to meet her "boyfriend" instead of being a mom. Please don't let it happen to your nephew.

God Bless You,Friend

Additional info.
your family is definately in denial about her situation. And are afraid of being responsible enough to give tough love. Hell watch the show "Intervention" on A&E.
If she is trying to break into your home it isn't for grocery money......................

Answer 9

I agree, you really need to report her to child/social services for what she's doing to her son, Explain the situation to them including her being Bipolar and what she's done to you and her son, and if she continues to break into your home or try to cause you or others harm you need to call the local authorites and explain the situation to them. Someone with Bipolar disorder really needs to be on medication and continually seek proffessional help in dealing with their moods and behaviors, otherwise they will continue to go down hill. Help is out there but she has to want to take it, if child services takes away her son and gives it to a family member they need to give her the utlimatame of either get proffessional help or she cant visit her child. Make sure she understands that she is causing harm to not only herself but her child and her family and that they only want what is best for all concerned. As far as your family go's they may want to read up on Bipolar disorder and ways they can help your sister. Good luck and I hope things work out for you and your family.

Answer 10

Your sister sounds like she is also schitzophrenic. I advise you not to stay out of it for the sake of your nephew and if need be report her to the authorities in your state that deals with the safety of children. Or better yet go to court to get temporary custody of this child. You may also try to ask your family to become more supportive of saving your sister life by staging an intervention. This woman is not only putting her life on the line by not getting the mental health assistance she needs and compiling her illness with and addiction to drugs, she is also emotionally and mentally scarring the child and no one has a right to do this, Mom or no Mom. I say Cudos to you for your concern and I am 100% in favor of you doing what you have to save your sister from herself and your nephew. God Bless you on your journey!