I and my long D ex, after a year on and off, we finally compromised to be friend for now. I did not really call him since then, as I think we are just normal friend now. Few days ago when I got the news that something bad happened in his home country, I was worried about his family there. I decided to call him and tell him that he should call his mom and see if things there were okay. The first time I called, he answered but he said he couldn't talk and will call back. So finally, I just text him and asked him to call his mom, then I went to bed. He called me back one hour later while I was asleep, I was half awake and can't remember clearly what he said. He said something like his mom was okay, thanks, where u got the news...I am just thinking if I did the right thing to call? or I should just cut the connection with him as he indeed hurt me a lot before.
2007-06-12 03:41:18 · 15 answers · asked by bebe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I guess it's fine to call. As a friend, you are simply showing concern. But from what you wrote, I think you still have slight feelings for him. If not why would a call to him bother you? You gotta sort out your own feelings first. If you indeed still have feelings for him, then by all means cut any form of connections with him.
2007-06-12 04:22:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no I think you did a very good thing by calling to see if things were ok I think it was very sweet of you to still care in that way that's what friends are for, however, you need to forgive him for hurting you in the past, not just for him, but for you as well there is nothing wrong with trying to be friends as my ex and I have done this it does take more energy to remember the hurt all the time then it does to just let it go and be there for each other just as you did you and he could be the very best of friends if you just let the past be the past good luck
2007-06-12 10:49:32 · answer #2 · answered by sassysandyinmi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You showed concern for someone you had a relationship with, there is nothing wrong with that.
I had a relationship with someone for quite awhile and a few months after we broke up I saw a car that looked like his in his hometown that was involved in an accident. I couldn't stop because of the police, but I called him when I got home to see if it was him and if he was okay. I don't think there is anything wrong with it.
2007-06-12 10:46:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you still want him in your life at least as a friend. If you do, the only way to make it work is put behind you all the crap you went through in your relationship. If you can't do that, don't bother.
I've been friends with ex's and the one thing that helps is to give advice when they ask for it and to just sit back and smile to myself as they make a mess of things (as we all do) and say to myself "thank god I'm not involved with them anymore!".
Just remember as a friend you're there to have fun and listen to them complain... and only offer help when they ask. The emotional commitment is totally different.
2007-06-12 10:50:12 · answer #4 · answered by Pooka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about him! You say this guy hurt you in the past and then you tried to do something nice and he tells you he can't talk and that he'll call you back, which he doesn't. To me, it doesn't seem like this guy has really changed and in the end, you'll probably end up getting hurt again.
2007-06-12 10:46:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its one thing to not want to talk to him but it seems like you do care about his mom.. no you were in the right.. think about this.. if you did not live with your mom and he heard some bad news wouldnt you want him to call you and let you know... YOU WERE IN THE right... you should you cared... yous agreed to be friends and thats what friends do.. I called my ex you was mentally abusive to me to tell him my dad died so he could pay his respects.. I was upset when he told me months after his mom died...
2007-06-12 10:47:09 · answer #6 · answered by EVANS HERE YAY!!! WHAT A BIG GUY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were ok to call as you were concerned for his family. It shows him you are a caring person. Don't make it a habit though b/c he will think you want something more, when you don't.
2007-06-12 10:44:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me you were just showing that you where concern and theres nothing wrong with that. That just proves what type of person you are and nothing is wrong with that. Now if you were just calling to make stuff up thats different. Its a nice thing that you did and I hope that he appreciated that.
2007-06-12 10:45:40 · answer #8 · answered by PoshBCD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont cut the connection even though he has hurt you, dont be someone who pretends not to care when you do. It wasnt wrong of you, it was nice of you to show you can/still care about people even though they may not be a part of your life.
2007-06-12 10:45:29 · answer #9 · answered by baby_love_marybeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call or don't call... It's up to you. You aren't trying to get together again, right? Then do whatever you like and if he thinks you do, let him know where you stand. Friends can call friends...
2007-06-12 10:45:28 · answer #10 · answered by Robb 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋