Why do some parents always look for someone else to blame when their kids act up or do something bad?

Question

I have heard the same story over and over again....it's the music...it's the schools....it's our government...it's video games...it's so on and so forth. Isn't it the parents responsibilty to raise their children...and not society?

Answer 1

You are absolutley correct!!! The problem, with today's parents, they want to have the kids but they don't want to be responsible for them (that's why they're called 'tax deductions'). They don't know how to raise them, therefore, it's everyone else's fault. These parents rely on TV, schools and society to raise their children for them --- what a shame...

Answer 2

This is a problem in the making, thanks in part to modern day work schedules and parents under 30 prolonging their adolescence. When all a parent can worry about is the financial or luxurious aspects of life, children are left without proper parental guidance, and then for some reason these parents just seem to expect their kids to behave. And when they don't, they take it out on the child's other peer group, like teachers and friends at school. Other things like TV, movies, and video games often become so much a part of a child's life that parents have little reaction with their kids.

Part of the reason why this becomes a problem in the first place is because parents don't always plan ahead when they want kids (meaning before pregnancy) or fail to figure out how everything will work out in the long term as the child grows. Work is not an excuse to not be with kids, money or not kids need their parents and if employers can't understand that then before you know it we have to choose between a society where "Children = Poor" or "Money = Neglect", we have to come up with a solution to this problem. Otherwise, all children will born from test tubes, sterilized, and brought up only for the sole purpose of working, thus the end of the traditional family as we know it simply because along the way people decide that family is incompatible with busy lifestyles.

Answer 3

It seems that is the case today. It seems as though parents really don't want to believe that their children are less than perfect...even though there is no such thing...and find something, someone, anything to blame but the reality that their teenager made some bad decisions. It is just too easy to shift the blame to a nasty teacher, or a heavy metal group, or a video game, rather than to put the onus on what is really at fault is bad decisions and no absolute consequences.

Answer 4

I think that parents assume that they have done their best, so when their kid behaves badly they ask themselves, "why?". The truth is that even if the children are raised perfectly the kid will be good or bad according to their genetics. Why is it that two boys can be raised in the same household, one spending his life in prison, the other becoming a doctor? Many people look for rationalization and external reasons, when in fact one kid is a good kid and another is a good-for-nothing-kid, because that's how they were born.
Parents who have good kids don't understand the parents that have bad kids. They think their kids are good because they are good parents, so blame the parents with bad kids. The parents with bad kids then blame the environment. With that said, kids are more likely to be good kids if their parents and grandparents were also good as such things are largely (but not completely) inherited.

Answer 5

it absoloutly is the parents responsibilty to raise their children in the right way but there is also only so much one can do . I think when the right to spank your children went away so did the authority that parents had over their children and I do blame some of it on the government by stepping in and telling ppl how to raise their kids . good luck .

Answer 6

Parents can only take part of the responsiblity....Yes, a parent is the one to teach the morals and values and ethics. But when some one steps in and says that you can not discipline your child, that sorta falters!! I believe in spanking, yet I know that I can not discipline my child in public that way for fear that some idiot will call child protection services on me and my son will be taken from me....he is my life and no i do not beat him....but a slap on the wrist never hurt any one!! Society is what caused that problem! Also society prevents certian things to be taught in school......such as sex ed....its sooooo limited these days!! Kids dont learn all they should!!! Its horrible, but the school can not do anything about it b/c they are afraid that some crazy person will sue them!!! I think it just goes hand in hand......parents do need to step up to the plate, but society needs to back down and let the parent be a parent to their child!!!

Answer 7

Your question is a little misleading.
To their credit, parents these days are really doing the best they can. And for the most part (though you don't always know it from reading this forum) they're getting it right.
But now and then things don't turn out as they thought they would. The parents could have done everything right and still have raised a serial killer (bad example, but you know what I mean).
So yes, there must be other reasons. Outside influences that somehow got in. Parents who ask themselves "What went wrong?" aren't doing so out of laziness rather out of genuine disillusionment.

Answer 8

No One wants to say they are the ones who have screwed up and of course blame everyone but themselves. This angers me to no end. I cannot stand the media, video games, books, etc,etc being blamed on the behavior of todays youth. We as parents set a standard for our children so when our kids do something heinous it is a reflection on the parents. Although this is something I do believe it is not always the case - sometimes there are just bad kids. Those are the ones that normally have psychological problems. Those are the parents my heart goes out to. For the rest of the parents who are just too lazy to teach our children right from wrong and put them in front of computers, tvs and video games...SHAME SHAME SHAME - for it is not the fault of what you sat them in front of but yours for sitting them in front of it in the first place.!!!!

Answer 9

YES! I get frustrated with parents that say that kind of stuff also. It is the parents responsibily to mold their children into good human beings. Parents need to teach them values and repect. Not teachers. That's the problem now a days, some parents don't mold thier children into good people and then the poor teachers have to deal with it.

Answer 10

I think it is because society in general does not like to admit they are wrong. Admitting you did something wrong or made a mistake makes you look weak. I think in the case of parents they don't want to appear as if they have failed so it is easier to blame someone or something else. This is a perfect example of why our world is in such crisis!